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11-23-2004 Mayor McFly and the Slackers


This is fun. From Neal Boortz :

EVEN ODDS FOR A NUCLEAR ATTACK

This didn't get much coverage yesterday, but it certainly should have. Maybe people just don't want to be reminded .. or they're tired of coping with the threat.

Harvard security expert Graham Allison has written a new book titled "Nuclear Terrorism." Allison says that the chance of terrorists detonating a 10 kiloton nuclear devise in the United States in the next 10 years is 50/50.

Now ... if you want a sobering reality just go to this website. Nuclear Terror.org . On this site you will have a chance to enter your zip code and see a blast map showing the effects of a 10K nuclear explosion. The site is very well done ... so head on over for a dose of reality.

While you're at it, you can thank the Red States for saving you from an appeasement administration that would have made the terrorist's job all that much easier.

I tried it. I followed the "Blast Map" link and basically, if a 10 kiloton nuclear device were set loose anywhere near this adobe; Wilkes-Barre proper would be a glassed-over skating rink. Nuke it and start all over. I wonder if Ed Rendell would go for that.

I'm wondering...if the trolls at the Citizens Voice will ever give it up. They can't resist taking shot after shot after shot at those of us who smartly voted against putting the Luzerne County Govmint in charge of the then proposed arena project.

Here's the latest snide gibberish from Paul Golias:

Kevin Blaum had the guts to stand up to evil forces, and he prevailed. The arena is testament to his tenacity. (And where are the knaves who fought the project?)

Knave this f**kface!

Follow me here. The dorks that run, or ran Luzerne County into the culm need a new prison. But they gave away the bank to all of their political cronies, and they're in debt up to their comb-overs. They also need to build a new juvie facility, but can't afford to build that either. The solution? Agree to lease a juvenile detention center, and sign a lease that won't expire until well after the much-needed Rapture!!! They operate a nursing facility that bleeds red ink faster than the Voice did before it was bought out. Their possible solution? Build a new one!!! They decided to sink $61 million dollars into the only airport in the U.S. that can't attract any planes, or any passengers for that matter. And while that airport continues it's march to insolvency, they want to buy yet another one!!! They can't afford enough county sheriffs to get the job done properly, but they can afford raises for nearly everyone!!! This is the only county in the entire state that somehow hired a high-priced big wig kleptomaniac!!! This is the county where county big wigs go to the polls smelling like fermented hops and barley, and lookin' to brawl with the smallest guys there!!! And if that isn't financially, ethically, and morally distressing enough for ya, they have to have electronic voting machines in place, by law, by January 2006.

You wanted to put these very same people in total charge of the construction of, financing of and managing of a 12,000 seat arena?

Crossin? Makowski? Pizano? Based on their oderous and expensive misadventures, these guys couldn't turn a freaking meager profit operating a little league refreshment stand. And they wouldn't give a damn either.

It's you that's totally f**ked up, pal. Not me.

Gorgozilla? F**kin' dorks.


I just luvvvvv...reading SAYSO and the letters to the editors every single day. I get the biggest chuckles out of them and usually on a daily basis. And every once in a while, I just have to paste one here. Let's do this one from today's Voice:

State legislators should try to survive on minimum wage

Editor:

Is this some kind of bad joke or something? The state legislators claim they aren't making enough money. Just for one year, I'd like to see them make it on a salary of $15,000 a year and see how the real people live. They'd never be able to make it. They are so used to having dinner at the nice restaurants, smoking the good cigars (if they smoke) and having $250,000 homes.

We continue to vote these people into office, and they turn around and try to pass another pay raise. I hope everyone knows that they voted themselves a nice healthy raise just a few years back. We got nothing - the minimum wage has been at the same rate, $5.15, for the past 10 years.

In the past 27 years, I haven't seen anything done to bring in better-paying jobs for unskilled workers, except for the fact that now we have mega restaurants in the area. Again, these are all minimum wage jobs, unless you're lucky enough to have a place start you at $7 per hour.

It's time our legislators do more to help average people earn more money instead of lining their own pockets.

Cindy Martindale
Shickshinny

I really don't wanna beat up on this lady. I have no idea what sort of stuff she has to deal with and some people do get dealt really sh*tty hands. But...did anybody catch what I caught?

In the past 27 years, I haven't seen anything done to bring in better-paying jobs for unskilled workers...

Holy frig! How the hell does one go about attracting better-paying jobs for unskilled workers? Maybe Todd Vonderheid, or Larry Newman can learn me, but I wouldn't hold my freaking breath if I were her.

Are you computer literate? Nope. Can you drive a forklift? Nope. Hmmm. Do you have a CDL? A what? Nevermind. Can you type 75,000 words a minute? No. Okay, can you drive a stick? No, but my Aunt Nina used to ride one from place to place. Attend college? Nope. High school?

You know, the job market is no longer what it was when pappy and grandpappy headed off to the mill every morning. You have to have some skills these days if you're gonna get ahead. And I still believe that those of us stuck under a certain economic threshold should be offered two free years at the nearest available community college. At the very least, it'd be worth giving people an advertising shove towards some night classes. Allah knows, the govmint wastes enough money on those stupid Ad Council ads. Why not some ads prodding people to augment their skills on the cheap?

This is your brain on drugs? How about, this is your income, so you might as well do drugs?


I caught...another nifty letter to the editors in the Leader. This one was from one of our snarling activist crazies, Linda Stets, and her entire letter was meant to chastise Kathy Kane for not agreeing with the reduction of council from seven to five members.

There's some whacked-out lines in this letter. Quite frankly, it sounds as if it was written by an elementary school girlie who hates the fact that she has twelve fingers and eleven toes. Here's a few blurbs:

Mrs. Kane seems like she can't accept defeat.

Whatever. Consider the source. If Linda is working on your election staff, try not to slam into the gas pumps when you crash.

Mrs. Kane needs to conceptualize the fact that "We The People" have spoken.

Holy jumpin' orangutan farts? We The People? I had no idea. This sh*t is big. Really freakin' big.

They, (the activist crazies) are brave citizens who do not cower in the face of controversy.

That's a big 10-4. They don't cower in the face of controversy. Why the heck should they when they drummed it up in the first place?

...City Council can now take their toys and leave.

Toys? This is from one of those folks that want to run the show. Is it me, or does she sound kinda bitter, or some sh*t? Whew. This is your brain on hate.

The game has ended and you lost.

Can you say "chill pill?"

But this line was the one that had me slapping my good side. This is from one of those folks that percieve themselves to be the knowers of all things, and should be elevated to lawgiver-for-life status. Take it away, genious!

In my opinion, most of the council decisions that I have been following are quite trivial.

Anyone with a high school education can do the job because it is basic common sense.

It's muckraker drool such as this that makes me want to go on living. Hmmm. So...to hear the self-annoited expert of all things govmint shout it, we don't need any sort of business acumen to successfully run this city. And we don't need any college seasoning of any sort. Anybody with a high school education can do the job. So, all of a sudden, I'm conceptualizing Linda putting McGroarty back at the helm. Or how about Charlie Weiss? Why don't we put him in charge? If we can spare a cop for a full day, we can mosey on down to Stroudsburg and find Crazy Kevin.

Qualifications? Experience? F**k that bullsh*t. I throw that back in your face. According to the all-knowing policy wonk with the frequently flaring nostrils, all we need is a couple of George McFlys and Wilkes-Barre will zoom to new heights. Slackers, baby. That's the ticket.

So we dump Kathy Kane and the rest of those over-qualified greedy people and replace them with the likes of my nephew. What do you think? He may attend council meetings wearing leg irons, but he did finish high school. And so did George McFly. And so did Biff.

Hey, you! Take yer damn hands off that gavel!

Whatever. Opinions are like sunken storm sewers, Linda. We've all got one.


The Indiana Pacers...freakin' RULE, man! I've heard all of the outrage from practically every single human being that still pays any attention at all to the NBA pros that can hit a three pointer once or twice a game. What Ron Artest did was wrong. It was wrong. It was sooooooooooo wrong. Who cares? The NBA sent him packing right quick.

My son and I spent the last two nights serfing the ESPN channels, and they replayed the brawl video on one of those channels every fifteen seconds. And we laughed like drunken hyenas watching a one-legged villager trying to hop away from us at feeding time. That video is a freakin' hoot. And I'll watch it again and again and still be cracked up by it.

From what I'm gathering, I'm the only one honest enough to admit that what Ron Artest and his crew did was perfectly justifiable. Any fan that throws anything at any player needs his ass kicked, or his head busted open like freakin' pronto. Plunking down a few greenbacks does not give anyone the right to launch projectiles at any player. What happens to the fan that nails a player in the eye and blinds him in that eye? A six month jail term? Home confinement? Probation? I seriously doubt he'd live long enough to find out. His fellow fans would probably turn on him and rip him to shreds before the rent-a-cops could save his sorry ass.

I got the biggest kick out of Artest nailing that putz in the stands. And Marque and I wailed away when O'Neal landed a couple of death bombs on chumps that were more than happy to engage him. You know, the ones running out onto the court looking for a fight? If you watch the entire video again, you'll notice Pacer benchwarmers just standing there watching the goings-on and getting suckered punched from behind by those poor, poor innocent fans.

And just how smart are these throwers of cups of beer? And batteries? And golf balls? And snow balls? And sucker punches? How smart are they anyway? How much beer does it take before throwing something at a 7 foot, 260 pound professional athlete just a few feet away seems like a bright idea? How many? If I was Artest, I would have stalked that putz no matter who got in my way.

And I had to suffer through all of this racist bilge during the past couple of days. Oh, gee whiz. The NBA is the Hip Hop league, and Hip Hop is the culture of violence. Really? Pro baseball players have brawled in the stands with rowdy fans. And so have numerous pro hockey players? Is the NHL the Rap music league? Hip Hop had nothing to do with what happened the other night.

If you don't wanna fight Ron Artest, don't throw sh*t in his face?

So the Pacers, a legitimate championship contender, are screwed due to the lengthy suspensions laid on them. The players across the entire league heard that message loud and clear. You don't go into the stands and whoop up on the fans. That's fine. But what message was sent to the rowdy fans? I must have missed it, if it was even sent. It seems to be that it's open season on the now completely defenseless players unless something is done to cool their jets too.

Whatever. I don't even watch the NBA unless someone comes sliding into the picture while delivering a knockout blow to some drunken scuzzball.

I'm gonna do some more ESPN tonight. I'm thinking Batman here.

ZONK! POW! ZAP! BOINK!

Bye