6-6-2005 Something’s going to happen

People, please remember that politicians are employees who work for you. Think of them as Temps in your office. They are the temporary help, not gods. You have the right to question your employees about their performance, especially when they earn luxury benefits and pensions and earn more than twice the median wage of their constituents.-- Nick in Wheeling

Check this complete rubbish. I’d giggle myself all the way to pukedom if it wasn’t for the disturbing fact that thousands of those MoveOn.org tree-hugging American apologists have already signed on the dotted line. Oh, with environmentally friendly ink, of course. I hope they didn’t injure their limp wrists.

George W. Bush has telegraphed his intention to withdraw from the family of man… (???)

Ah…the family of man. Now what in the f>ck is that new age gobbledygook? This is what can happen if you bend over in front of your professor one too many times.

The Family of Man. Would that family include the insurrectionists on every continent running around chopping other folks’ heads off only because they were born with the wrong surnames? Would that family include the common criminals posing as freedom fighters that plant bombs wherever civilians may roam? Would that family also include those who sanction massacres in the name of their make-believe religions? Or those who perpetuate genocides. How about those welfare state slackers in Europe? Or the useless bastards at the United (Against America) Nations who took countless bribes from Saddam as he continued to imprison, torture and execute his own impoverished people? Is that the f>cked-up family we’re talking about?

If so, you can count me out, too.

A PETITION

For

The Impeachment of George W. Bush

TO THE CONGRESS OF THE UNITED STATES

WHEREAS George W. Bush essentially murdered 6000* of his own countrymen, by allowing terrorists, in the face of specific intelligence and warnings by domestic and foreign agents, to highjack jumbo jets and use them as bombs against the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, and,

WHEREAS George Bush thereby caused damage in the millions of dollars, first from the initial incident and subsequent cascade of consequences which fell primarily on the shoulders of working class people, while he bailed out his rich cronies, and,

WHEREAS George W. Bush then perpetrated an illegal war against the country of Afghanistan, killing thousands of innocent civilians, women and children, mostly from starvation and exposure, in a pretext of “making war against terrorism”, which was, in reality, a clandestine plot to install a puppet government and begin to extract the oil and heroin resources of the region, and,

WHEREAS George W. Bush has surreptitiously used the “terrorist” issue to suspend the Constitution of the United States, mainly through the USA PATRIOT Act, suspending the rights of habeas corpus, legal representation and lawyer-client privilege while increasing the use of eavesdropping, snooping and electronic surveillance furthering the draconian restrictions to personal freedoms characteristic of this illegal regime, and,

WHEREAS George W. Bush has telegraphed his intention to withdraw from the family of man and the civilized global society by withdrawing from the ABM Treaty, the Kyoto Protocol and the World Court, preferring to pursue a course of world and space domination,

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that we, the People, Undersigned, being citizens of the United States and registered voters in the Counties and States so indicated, HEREBY Demand that the Congress of the United States begin immediate impeachment proceedings against said George W. Bush, pretender to the office of the President of the United States, and further demand they vigorously pursue all civil and criminal penalties to each and every member of this administration, agency employees, and members of the congress or intelligence apparatus who willingly and with malice aforethought participated in these heinous crimes.

*Footnote 1. These are official U.S. numbers. The death-toll at the World Trade Center was placed at 6,700 in September, 2001. The figures were used liberally by pundits and politicians alike to fuel the hunt for Osama bin Laden and the U.S. war on Afghanistan. The initial civilian death- toll from U.S. bombing in Afghanistan was 20 to 37. The U.S. death-toll was continually revised downward while world health officials elevated the Afghani casualties. The numbers became equal around June 2002. The present numbers are: U.S. deaths 2,919; Afghani deaths 3,215. So, George Bush’s body count remains nearly constant...the victims’ identities have changed. (for an excellent discussion, see Marc Herold at www.cursor.org/stories/heroldon911.htm)

*Footnote 2. Figures for Afghani deaths are from U.S. bombing alone. They do not include the thousand who died from starvation and exposure as a result of U.S. closure of relief supply routes from Azerbijan and Pakistan.

Blah…fu>king blah, blah, blah.

Impeachment? Why not? What else do the democrats have to offer these days?

My God! It’s full of stars!--Keir Dullea

Look…stop buggin’ me about this “unbelievable” event scheduled for Thursday at Genetti’s. I honestly haven’t a clue as to what Mayor Tom II has in store for us, and as far as I can tell, nobody else has a fargin’ clue either. I think we’re gonna have to kidnap somebody to gather this intel, and I ain’t much for having to stab sub-human degenerates in the cell block’s communal shower. So we wait.

Just for the heck of it, I called Mr. Mayor himself late this afternoon. His lip was tightly zipped and then some. Not even the vaguest of hints was I treated to. But he said the following:

At the beginning, you won’t believe it, but at the end you will.

What? What-freaking-ever. So I asked him why the newspapers haven’t picked up on this story and he said they are driving him crazy about it. Unlike those folks in the Heights, the folks toting the electronic quills and such do not have to get in line to drive a given mayor crazy. In the case of news reporting, I think this is the only profession whereby relentlessly stalking someone is completely legal.

Anyway, don’t beat on your fingertips typing any such requests for info from me. You got me by the you-know-whats. Then again, this entire affair kind of reminds me of a scene from the 1984 flick, 2010: The Year We Make Contact. Do you think I’m asking for a whole heap of trouble by comparing the top elected honcho in my recently dysfunctional city to a fictional computer?

Who cares? Here goes…

HAL 9000: Something’s going to happen.

Dr. Chandra: What? What’s going to happen, Hal?

HAL 9000: Something wonderful.

And that’s where we’re at, kiddies. All systems are nominal...so we wait.

Take a gander at what I went and bought myself. Two of ‘em, no less.

Switch 625!!!

This is from the Wachovia (sounds like: walk over ya) Arena web portal:

Def Leppard and Tesla will be at the Wachovia Arena on Friday, June 24 at 7:30 PM. All tickets are $42.50. Tickets are on sale now at the Wachovia Arena Box Office, online at ticketmaster.com, by phone at (570) 693-4100 or select Boscov's and Gallery of Sound locations.

Def Leppard reigned as "the" band of the 80's and 90's with songs such as "Pour Some Sugar on Me", "Photograph", and "Hysteria". The band has released more than 12 albums and 4 CD/DVD collections in the past two decades.

Tesla soared to the top of the charts with hits like "Signs" and "Love Song".

Now…you have to realize that if my pointy ear’s aren’t ringing for at least the next thirty-six hours after this high-decibel event ends, I am going to demand a full refund.

And I will get my money back!!!

Yeah. And county commissioners of whatever tainted stripes can balance freaking budgets.

And I want

And I need

And I lust

Animal

What a weird world we currently find ourselves living in. I go to the web site, give ‘em my triple-secret 16-digit currency code and Voila!, within minutes, my concert tickets arrive at my cheesy, imported computer desk via an electronic pulse. So…after this rather loud gig goes down I won’t have a concert ticket stub to stuff into one of my thoroughly disheveled scrapbooks. Instead, I’ll have a scrap of printer paper???

Jeez. The smarter we get, the stupider we sound. Does that sound stupid?

Good.

From the e-mail inbox Can’t wait

A new book about Hillary Clinton is being rushed into print months ahead of schedule and Vanity Fair magazine will soon publish an excerpt of the work. The tell-all book by Edward Klein, "The Truth About Hillary: What She Knew, When She Knew It, and How Far She'll Go to Become President," was originally slated for publication in September. The Drudgereport says the book and its startling revelations could destroy her bid to run for the presidency in 2008.

Hillary? Why she’s as pure as the wind-driven snow. (wink, wink)

And…she’s as pure as those ancient glaciers that are all melting and rumbling forth to destroy the continental United States right after the waves of acid rain cause everything thing we’ve ever erected to celebrate the folly of man decompose right before our very eyes. And what of all of those devastating earthquakes and tornadoes we’re causing by playing our video games all day long? Woe is me. I’m an American and I foolishly turned my back on the Kyoto Attack. I’m meant, treaty. Bring on the locusts. Bring on the tsunamis. I own a motor vehicle and a confederate flag. I like NASCAR and feel nothing but pity for those who think Soccer is a viable sport. I don’t deserve to live so long as those weak-kneed Eurowussies covet that which I happen to own. And nuclear power will be the death of us all, but brownouts and rolling blackouts are not acceptable at all. They make it so hard to straighten my hair in the back. I’m so sorry that I caused 9/11. I wish I could tell those brave freedom fighters/hijackers how utterly sorry I am.

Whew! Sorry.

(Note to self: Don’t post in anger. And resist posting when you’re really, really tired.)

WE NOW RETURN YOU TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED INSANITY.

From the e-mail inbox The Blonde Cowboy

The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blonde cowboy, coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots, so he arrests him for Indecent Exposure.

As he is locking him up, the Sheriff asks him, "Why in the world are you dressed like this?"

The Cowboy says "Well it's like this Sheriff... I was in the bar down the road, when this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her, and so I did... We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt, so I did. Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants, so I did. Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts, so I did. Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of hot and sexy and says, "Now, go to town, cowboy...And so here I am."

Blonde Men do exist

Man…that’s a freakin’ sexist stereotype, man! I’m outraged!

Blonde men aren’t dumb.

Right?

Let‘s cover this, shall we? The all-knowing oaf is getting a bit boring, if not redundant. If you call WILK and dare to say anything that Kevin Lynn has not officially sanctioned as being the quantitative truth…you are immediately accused of repeating what Rush Limbaugh had to say of late.

Kev…don’t fu>king flatter yourself, okay.

Not everyone who calls your station is a “knuckle-dragging dittohead.” And not everyone who dares to disagree with you is a contemptuous moron of little regard. And we’re not all completely blinded by that seething “Get Bush” mentality that has you over-reaching in yet another attempt to bash the guy every morning at 6:06 am.

The fact is, you’re the highly predictable one regurgitating the mostly useless and counterproductive anti-Bush sh*t on a daily basis that we both read on the internet the night before. And yet, the folks that agree with you are all held up by you as the enlightened thinkers of NEPA. (Insert finger in back of throat now)

Bush this. Bush that. Bush ate my children. Bush killed my dog. Bush stole my favorite tin-friction car. Bush ordered the flushing of books. (How does one flush a book down a toilet, anyway? Hmmm…interesting. To some, that is.)

No, the folks who swing your way really have a lot to say. It’s repetitive, anal and flush with nut job conspiracy theories, but it’s still very, very enlightened. (???)

And if “Duke from Dallas” calls one more time and drones on and on about the American History Project, I’m gonna drive over the edge of the nearest culm bank on purpose. Oh, and…Gee whiz, Bush won’t personally check each and every one of the tens of millions of freight containers that arrive in our ports every year.

Again, very enlightened. Never mind the Geiger counters, the neutron flux sniffers and the N.E.S.T. teams on standby all over the country. Nah, Duke knows it all. Just like his good buddy, Kev, the champion of the phony smart. The very, very enlightened knower of a lot of mostly zany and useless things. But at least he’s finally found his niche.

So tune in tomorrow to hear the latest from Camp Kev.

This just in from IWishWeCouldReliveTheNeedlessAnarchyOfTheSixties.com: Some of the guards at Gitmo have been accused of glancing in the general direction of the poor, poor, innocent detainees without wearing smiles on their faces. This is a developing story.

NO!!!

Take it away…Kev!

All we are saying…is give surrendering our sovereignty a chance.

Buh-bye

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