12-5-2003 821-1170: Good riddance

Everything starts over today. When we change our culture, we will change the future of our community and we can get there together.--Todd Vonderheid

I could not post yesterday as Tripod was on the blink again. Here's the scoop. They are now saying that the big meltdown will be over sometime tomorrow. We shall see.

Speaking of Tripod, this is the best e-mail to date concerning Tripod's recent hiccups:

*******Where's the site been? Isn't it great when you do something for free and everyone starts treating you like an employee?*******

I cannot believe how many people e-mailed me the McGroarty fete planned news blurb from yesterday's Voice. For whatever reason, this was probably the biggest e-mail event I have ever had. Bigger even than when I hoodwinked Fred Williams with the Wilkes-Barre Air Rescue bit and bigger still than when I posted Mayor Tom's Secret Lab in Happy Coal Valley. I think it was even bigger than when I whined about missing Kresge's Pizza. Give me some credit. I read both of our papers each and every day. Did anyone really think I would miss that miniscule news item being that it appeared on Page 5?

When I read this, I chuckled. There really isn't any need to beat the guy up forever, but if the decision to attend or skip this event was based solely on his performance as mayor, the proper venue would be the subterranean men's room on the Square. Sorry McTom, but you really stunk it up. Let's skip the usual cries of politics and do a bit of soul-searching. Heyna? You are an official non-dude in my internet book.

By the way, I called the number listed in the ad, 821-1170 and there was no answer. Which City Hall office is that anyway?

And who in their right mind would pay twenty bucks to say goodbye to the boy that destroyed their home town?

Do you allow your kids to listen to Hip Hop? If so, consider this lyric snippet from an Eminem song:

'F**k money. I don't rap for dead presidents. I'd rather see the president dead. It's never been said, but I set precedents and the standards and they can't stand it... We as Americans. Us as a citizen. We've got to protect ourselves'...

He'd rather see the president dead? Very nice. I get the biggest kick out of all the tough talk that comes out of this guy's hole. He wouldn't last 15 seconds in a semi-decent bar brawl right here in Culm County. Sh*t, he makes Billy Idol look tough by comparison.

Are you ready for Christmas? I am. I collect unusual and sometimes salty Christmas songs, so this little ditty was added to the collection. While it's certainly no "Punk Rock Christmas," (name that band if you can) it has it's own merits. Ding fries are done

The Twelve Sexually Transmitted Diseases of Christmas? Maybe we should allow those creeps at the U.N. to monitor the internet.

What's this? Todd & Skrep are advertising county positions and shopping nationally for ultra-qualified professionals? Why, that would equal change, wouldn't it? Government conducted by the light of day? That's extremely bad news for the Home Rule Nazis. How are they supposed to convince county residents to buy their snake oil in round two if the snakes were already replaced. And with that replacement came what looks to be a refreshing change? That's a tough sell for the superior ones.

What they need is some honest to goodness bad news after the first of the year. Better yet, they need the young guns to mis-speak, get angry during a meeting or make a provable mistake. Now we're talking. This is where we're at. Us commoners want progress and an open county government right now. What the Nazis want is more of the good old status quo, so that they can use it to their advantadge and assume control. The young guns need to keep it coming, baby. Good news is bad news. If you're a Nazi that is.

Wow! It seems that grandpop is not the oldest Tom, Dick or Harry in town afterall.

This site bites, but the song is cool. Watch the pictures change. Cool! Why in the muck would we ever want to convert to any system invented by the French anyway? They bite!

Okay, the city did cover it's latest payroll, but not without another cash infusion from the latest loan. Now, you gotta love the mayor's comments about all of this. He mentioned that both the fire and police department's holiday pay made covering these end of the year payrolls tough to manage. His own quote in the Voice was, "This is not something new."

Hey, he got something right for a change. 10-4, Command 30. (Get it?) The holiday pay for those two departments is not something new. What is new my incompetant little non-friend is the fact that covering the payroll, for whatever reason, has become a problem. Which control freak was it that controlled the city's purse strings during the past eight years? Who created those budgets? Who micromanaged everything right down to the most mundane, nonsensical details? Who bled the Parking Authority dry? Who resurrected the Redevelopment Authority and left it a few million in debt? Who built the Call Center that is bleeding us to death? Who's claim to fame is the multi-million dollar blunder, the Holeplex, anyway? Or as he would scribble it, The Wholeplex.

You're right McDebt, the holiday pay is nothing new. What is new is that you have single-handedly destroyed practically every aspect of this city; it's appearance, it's finances and it's morale. That's what's new you dunderhead. If you still take any pride at all in your lackluster performance as mayor, I would be totally confounded to hear of it. When that forensic audit is completed early next year, your name will forever more be known as McMud.

Face it champ, ya funked the hole thing up! Or is it whole?

This is an interesting read when you consider that it was written by a psychiatrist... Bush Derangement Syndrome

To listen to those lightweights running for president, or know-it-all Hitlery telling the tale, Iraq is already the biggest military blunder in the history of all recorded warfare. Hell! This Iraq thing is worse than Vietnam to hear them spin it. Is it really? No friggin' way.

If the President Dude is to be criticized for picking up a decorative turkey platter, (?) wait until the commies, sorry, Democrats get a healthy whiff of this one. They are going to have a collective stroke, which would be a good thing for our country. Honestly, I hope he doesn't try a personal landing on this one.

Everyone keeps telling me I'm crazy to be bicycling in cold weather, but with the proper gear, it's really no big deal. Trust me when I tell you, more often than not, I'm sweating 'em off. I'd much rather be riding in warm weather. That much I will admit to. No more forty dollar "Trek" gloves. No hoodie. No tyvex. I can't wait 'til Spring. Anybody interested in a few Bike Abouts?

I'm not sure how many of y'all already know, but Times Leader Dude, aka Mike McNarney is now covering other aspects of Luzerne County for the Leader. Kasia Kopec will now be reporting on all things Wilkes-Barre and can be reached at kkopec@leader.net. There's a new dudette in town. What do they call them these days anyway? The City Beat reporter? City Hall reporter? Gloom & Doom specialist? I don't know.

Well? What does everyone think of the Leighton transition team that was announced yesterday? I've met one of them a couple of times and he seems like good people. I was told about another a while back and was assured that she was good people. I'm familiar with another's name, but that's about it with him. Yesterday, I was filled in on another after WILK broke this news. The other four are mystery guests to this John Q. Nobody, but you have to be impressed with the groups credentials.

This news got me to wondering about something. Did mayor McTom have a transition team way back when before Wilkes-Barre became the asshole of the state, or did he think up that days early, midnight swearing-in ceremony all by his lonesome? Was he a lone wolf on day one of his mostly sorry administration, or did he have Larry, Moe and Curly assisting him? I can't freakin' remember.

I have to admit, I really like the sound of Leighton's all-volunteer beautification and special events committees. Where do I sign-up? I'm beautiful and special too, so when do we meet? Now, I'm scaring ya, heyna? Seriouly though, where do I sign-up? I talked to my boss and as of now, J.C. Ehrlich will officially adopt those two grassy median strips located on Penn Avenue behind St. Nick's and the Post Office. Can someone inform the Mayor-elect? If you're passing one of those strips next summer and the lawnmower fires a rock off of the side of your car, be advised, I won't care a lick and it is illegal to attack official city volunteers as far as I know.

Doesn't the phrase "transition team" just sound as if we're getting real close? Gettin' real short? Gettin' ready to rock? How many more days?

Entry Word: transition
Function: noun
Text:passage from one state or condition to another

Synonyms: alteration, passage, shift, transit

Related Words: change, conversion, metamorphosis, transformation; development, evolution; growth, progress

What time did the schools dismiss at? 11:30 am? It is now 7:00 pm and there's no snow on the ground. This is another outfit in need of a serious enema. Good call. Whatever.

I purchased one humdinger of a sled for Gage Andrew today and he's been bugging me about hitting the streets all evening. Some pathetic folks run frenzied to the nearest supermarket and load up on all sorts of perishables they won't need whenever Tom Clark and his dopplars get all excited. Others buy sleds. Some of us do what the television commands us to. Others don't. Some of us see ten inches of snow as some sort of life-threatening event. Others see only fun.

Enjoy your bread and milk and your jammies tonight.

We'll be sledding.