1-14-2004 Mars Online?

Compared to many urban areas around the country, it's just a great place to live and work.--Steve Barrouk

We're No. 11 on least-stressed list. I'm not sure that we can launch a new advertising campaign to promote the area based on that, but it's completely true. This county is fairly slow-paced and laid-back. Despite the uproar that Tom, Tom and Tom Associated caused in this area, it sure beats the hustle and bustle associated with living in the larger metropolitan areas. I always react with disbelief when folks complain about the traffic and lack of parking in our smallish downtown. Compared with what? Hastings on the Hudson? Chalfont? Harrisburg? York? When stacked next to some of our more heavily populated areas, the pace and atmosphere in this county is comparable to an Amish community. And Route 81 is too congested? There's no doubt that it's getting there, but the traffic on that stretch is nothing. Try the Cross Bronx Expressway during rush hour. Or the Beltway around D.C. when the work day ends and the interns rush home with their kneepads in tow. Or Bridgeport, where the sound of gunfire during the day is perfectly normal. The only thing stressful about living here is the knowledge that our fearless leaders have held us back for decades. Now that we've finally got some forward-thinking, responsible leadership, I imagine it won't be too long before we crack the top ten.


So, the local television anchor decided to get naked in public. More often than not, that's not the best career decision to make. Plus, the television anchors are supposed to report on the naked weirdos, not become one themselves. Film at 11. To be painfully honest, there's a couple of babes at WNEP and WBRE that I would like to see follow this anchor's lead without getting fired afterwards. I'll keep that list to myself and my camera at the ready.

The Socialists at MoveOn.org, partially funded by a billionaire who is not an American-born citizen, will stop at nothing to damage the credibility of our president. Is it accurate, or even fair to compare him to Hitler? Is The Patriot Act really restricting our freedoms? Is he a cheater and a liar? Is he the greastest threat to the future of mankind? These asassins will throw out any charge no matter how inaccurate just to see if any of them will stick. The way I see it, this really isn't personal. If any future American president thumbs his nose at the frustrated commies in the One World Borg and decides to unilaterally act to defend the interests of this country, they too will become the next biggest threat to the future of mankind. GW screwed up. He was supposed to continue on with his predecessor's policies and allow the United States to be slowly assimilated by the purveyors of socialist failure.

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Do you know what a 'soft target' is? How about a 'postcard target?' Any idea? A 'soft target' would be the mall, or the pizza parlor that your kid hangs out at. A 'postcard target' would be one of those famous landmarks that you and the kids might head off towards in the RV next summer. Whether they be designated as hard, soft, or targets lying somewhere in between, the places that we visit in our own country have been targeted for terrorist attacks by the stoned Koran thumpers of the dog-eat-dog Third World. Give that some serious thought before you vote next November. Whether we want to consider it or not, the future of our country has come into question and we don't need to make a big mistake in the voting booths next year.

Should an American President who risked all of his political capital to protect us against unspeakable horrors be banished by the very same Americans he sought to protect? Methinks not.

What the hell is going on with all of these vacant structures flooding all of a sudden? Yeah, it's gotten cold, but the temperatures haven't been that brutal. We've got frozen water lines bursting every single day as of late, and I don't remember this happening so frequently in the past. Is this due to a combination of things? I know that many of the water lines in the city were replaced last year and we were told that with the new lines would follow increased water pressure. Is the increased water pressure a bad thing in a city with so many vacant structures? Is that it? What happens when the mercury dips down below, or well below zero? I don't know. You tell me, man.

Dubya unveiled his space initiative this afternoon. Oh, Jeez! More proof that he's Hitler's clone, or some such mindless and hateul bilge. He'll be criticized no matter what he proposes. The fact of the matter is, the shuttle fleet is older than Dick Clark and NASA needs to be retooled. So, Dubya stepped to the podium and proposed that we do it big. That we do it right as only America has proven that it can.

What a callous oil man. Doesn't he realize that we need to increase federal funding so that the trailer park fatties can get free legal aid while trying to shake-down the McDonald's Corporation? And what about the people too lazy to acquire health care benefits? And what about the program to provide the homeless shelter dwellars with cell phones? Should the funding for that program receive no increases in funding, while Dubya wastes money exploring the stars? We can't slash the funding for those that poop on crucifixes and then call it art. The federal grants for those studying homosexual earthworms has to be protected. Explore space? The Moon? Mars? Why, this oil man is worse that Hitler!!!

Yet, when JFK announced that we would explore the cosmos-we loved him for it.

Dubya's space initiative was discussed at length on The Sue Henry Show today. It was interesting. A few callers actually had some working knowledge of our space program and made sense. Many others spoke from a position of ignorance. The oft-repeated argument against spending money on NASA is that we've got so many problems to solve right here on the rapidly devolving Earth. That's true, but if we deleted NASA, the new influx of cash would quickly be wasted on social programs that usually amount to little or nothing, except for bloated claims in the mass-mailings of politicians.

I was on line during this debate and I didn't want to use the cell phone, so I fired-off a light-hearted e-mail to Sue, which she later read on the air.

*******Suzie Q,
My life would not be worth living without hyper-velocity impact shielding having been invented. My car would probably not pass inspection without duct tape. Most importantly, my kids would not be as healthy without their daily dose of TANG. Good show today. You're at 104 percent of power and approaching MECO (main engine cut-off).

Markie in Wilkes-Barre*******

She sent along an e-mail reply, which I will not share with you, but my follow-up to that e-mail exposes exactly how I feel about any future manned space flights.

*******That's wild. Of all things-freakin' TANG. NASA is actually near and dear to my heart. I don't know my dad and I always believed that I'd meet him one day. Turns out, I was wrong. I tried and tried to locate his whereabouts and contact him, but he's one eccentric character who values his privacy over everything else. He actually had 8 social security #'s and alias'. He even used an alias on a patent. Anywho, I've spent countless hours reading about what he did all these years. He was a senior design consultant in the aerospace industry at a very young age and has contributed much to NASA and the defense of this country. Believe it or not, much of the exhaustive research conducted to put men in space allowed our military to become the biggest and baddest stick on this planet. For that reason alone, I have always been fascinated by manned space flight and especially combat aircraft. I say we light those solid boosters, come up to 104 percent of power and boldly go where no person (gender neutral) has gone before-on to Mars. If I could, I'd go along and BLOG from space. Wouldn't that be a rush? Mars Online.


I say we strap some more 'crazy brave' people on top of another montrous Saturn V cherry bomb, light that sucker, and see where it leads us. You never know, the mostly inhospitable surface of Mars might be hiding some significant oil reserves and then we'd have something else to hate our president for.

He risked the lives of our young astronauts for oil.

Little Dallas is a whole year-old already? Yikes! It sure passes by quickly. A few weeks ago, I was being beaten up for giving Gage Andrew just a taste of applesauce and now he's spying up my pizzas. Back off! Boy!

Check this e-mail:

I know you said you would not pay to see the local hockey team but I have 4 tickets to our box{we have a partnership of XX people that own it] for Sunday Jan 25 vs Norfork with a game start at 5:05 Would you want the tickets for the hefty sum of $0.00? Our box is located at center ice and sometimes there is even leftover beer in the frig. If it is locked just ask the attendant to open it. It could be a whole new experience. Drop me a line and I will mail you the tickets if you want them.*******

Beer? They have beer at hockey games? Count me in! Actually, it sounds pretty cool to be able to watch a game from the best seats in the house, rather than being buried far from the action in section 4000-Z. Being that we're going to be hanging out in a box, we'll have to shower, dress up, and act somewhat sane. And when people spot me peering down at them, they might get excited, point up at me and yell, "Look. There's Daniel Snyder." I promise not to shower anything down on them.

Is Gage Andrew old enough to watch grown men punch, gouge, slash, and trip each other? Wait! Sure he is. Blood on the ice isn't even near as violent as the stuff he sees on television.

This one is fun. The results of yesterday's CNN poll. The question was, "Are elected officials focused on issues that are important to you?" The results?



The sad part is, I don't think they even care.

I gotta go check the latest video from our Mars rover. The bugger is now mobile.