1-15-2004 Our 14 Chadsters strike again


I respect this gentleman's opinion, but he's clueless. Do you know how much is due this year? $4.2 million. $4.2 million!--Mayor Tom Leighton, reacting to Mr. Gadfly himself, Walter Griffith, Jr.

Do you remember the movie "Splash?" Remember that dork trying to capture Darryl Hanna who kept getting mauled, trashed, and boogered no matter what he did? Remember what he said each and every time another anvil landed on him? "WHAT A WEEK I'M HAVING!!! I think that's where Walter's at right now. What a week I'm having!

First he mistakenly accused two council folks of violating campaign finance laws and was forced to publicly apologize for his obvious lack of knowledge. Ouch! Then, in his self-appointed role as Captain Taxpayer, he dons his deflector cape and bullet-proof mask, grabs his magic lightning rod of destiny, and barges into a council meeting demanding answers. And for all of his selfless and valiant efforts, he finds himself being labeled as "clueless" by the mayor of the city.

Temper. Temper. It's always a good thing to start your day with a hearty chuckle. Thanks Walt. If you really don't understand the need for the $4 million TAN and the proposed $4 million bond, maybe you should go back to your mountain hideout and swallow a kryptonite pill. Or at the very least, fire up your Captain Taxpayer anthracite-powered rocket sled and fly away into the skkyyyyyyyyyyyy. For a nominal fee, I'd be willing to clue you in. Call me at 829-1341.

I was watching the WBRE news last night and they did that bit where they tell you what to expect from their Muckity-Culm News Alliance partners the next morning. They mentioned that the Voice was working on a story about our long forgotten redistricting plan for the city and I thought to myself, "Oh Jesus! Now what?"

So, somewhat nervously, I pulled that plastic bag off of the Leader this morning only to learn that more chaos lies directly ahead of us. Just great. Fargin' wonderful. Just when we thought that a sense of normalcy had settled over the city, confusion reigns once again. There's no need to further debate the referendum to divide the city into districts and reduce the size of council. We already covered that and the votes were cast. Unfortunately, thanks to Al Gore, subverting the will of the people based on election law technicalities is now the rage. If you don't like the results of an election, simply huddle with a few attorneys, find some insignificant bullspit, and you too can make a complete mockery of our democratic principles. Oh, golly gee. I never saw a "plain English" ad published! As if anyone even reads them.

In the first place, it was a complete travesty that the results of the election were allowed to be challenged at all. A year after the fact and without the minimum number of necessary petitioners, a Luzerne County judge decided that the challenge had merit. The folks whining about technicalities didn't file their challenge in a timely manner and couldn't produce enough signatures anyway, but somehow, those technicalities didn't matter. I'm certainly no judge, but something was amiss with this entire program from the word go.

So where does this leave us now? No one even knows. The whiners could appeal the Commonwealth Court's decision, further delaying the inevitable. We may be facing a special election. We may be voting in 2007 for 5 council types elected by districts. The thing that is poaching my family jewels is the fact that all of this would already be behind us if 14 people would have simply accepted the results of a hotly-debated election. But no. Nope. Nope. We can't campaign long and hard and then accept the results of an election anymore, if we don't like the outcome. Nope. There's an off-kilter chad there somewhere.

The following fourteen people have managed to deal Wilkes-Barre yet another confusing setback. Al, the ultimate alpha male, has taught them well.

And dig this. Kevin Jordan had better get his f**king sh*t together in a big hurry. How difficult is it to remember to place a newspaper ad every two years?


Once again, this seemingly timeless work of art submitted by a copper dude finds it's way back onto these electronic pages.

Take that voters!!!

You like that? I'm like an electronic pack-rat. I don't throw anything away.

You gotta be kidding me? Is there a mental illness epidemic sweeping across the country?

This website serves as notice to Christians across this nation that President George Bush over the past few years has compromised his "Christian faith" by promoting evil and openly supporting wickedness. It is our hope and prayer that he would Repent and turn from such blatant sin. He is not our friend and cannot be trusted.

Holy frig! Now he's accused of "promoting evil and openly supporting wickedness?" Okay. And Donald Rumsfeld holds the newborns while GW bites their heads off and drinks their blood. More freakin' lunatics. Just what we needed.

BushRevealed.com

This ought to totally confuse the members of The Green Party:

The benefits of economic freedom are obvious, yet many governments continue to stifle their economies by implementing unsound policies. Obstacles in the form of domestic politics often prevent leaders from taking the actions needed to encourage a climate of economic freedom and overall prosperity. Both developed and developing countries fall into the trap of choosing what is easy over what is economically sound.

Economic Freedom?


Have you forgotten?

Here's an oldie, but goodie. Somebody sent me a link to EBAY where this classic postcard is being offered.

Lazarus

Man! I couldn't even venture a guess as to how many hours I was dragged through that store by my mom and grandma. The last time I was in that store was during the Summer of '76. My grandma was so proud to learn that I was accepted at L.C.C.C., she decided that her grandson's pitiful wardrobe needed to be replaced. Her grandson was going off to college in style. I couldn't bare to tell her that even the folks stored in drawers at the coroner's office were usually accepted by L.C.C.C. Some things are better left unsaid. She was so thrilled that her grandson had supposedly done better than her and she was equally excited by my having recently given up on my dreams of adrenaline-fueled derring-do in places like the Mekong Delta. There's one I'd do over if I could.

It's funny though. All she did that day was yell at me. I asked stupid questions like "What's wrong with them?" while wearing jeans with too many rips and fraying parts for even Axl Rose to consider wearing. What's so wrong about KISS, or Alice Cooper T-shirts anyway? Yeah! I ripped the sleeves off of my Uriah Heep shirt. So what? "No grandson of mine is going to college with a guy sitting on a toilet on his chest?" "Holy Christ, grandma! It's Frank Zappa!" "Don't you use the lord's name in vain!" And so it went. My very last memory of shopping at Lazarus' with grandma.

So, I was off to L.C.C.C with my new threads. For the first couple of weeks or so, my mom saw to it that I wore my brand new 'Disco Boy' shirts, but what she never realized was that I left the house each morning with my jean jacket. KISS embroiderings, patches, pins and all. Needless to say, a KISS jacket at that level is not exactly a chick magnet, but us fu'gly folks could usually care less. They did their best. They tried to dress me up. They tried to educate me, to culture me. I was having none of it.

YOU WANTED THE BEST AND YOU GOT IT! THE HOTTEST BAND IN THE LAND...

I guess I don't miss the Lazarus store near as much as I miss the folks that used to drag me in there. Thanks for the link, dude. Like you said, "Back in the day."


Stress? Let's talk stress. From the e-mail inbox:

******* Hey Mark,
Another great posting this evening. After leaving Wilkes-Barre when I graduated, I did not know how good I had it. Since moving out here to NJ, I can really appreciate how mellow the valley really is. For example: I live 8 miles from NYC. Now, to get to my office ( 22nd & Broadway ), I MUST leave my house no later than 7:10 AM. Once I get on Route 3 and drive by the Meadowlands, I am already 30 minutes into the trip and I have gone a total of 3 miles. By the time I get to the ferry terminal in Hoboken, it is already 8. Parking the car, waiting for the ferry, then catching a connecting bus that drops me off 2 blocks from the office takes roughly an hour and a half every morning. Getting home is even worse. I leave the office at 6 pretty much every evening that I do not have to show properties. I have to take the N train to 34th St. Wait for the bus to get me to the ferry, which gets me back to Hoboken, NJ. Get the car out of the parking lot then sitting in traffic waiting to merge back onto Route 3. I get home, and viola, it's 8PM. I am amazed that the rush hour does not die out here until 9-9:30 every night. So basically I sit in my car for about 3 and a half hours per day getting to and from work. It really is insane, but driving by Giants Stadium everyday makes the journey worth it. Take care, and stay warm.

Jersey Dude*******

You drive through the shadow of Giants Stadium on a daily basis? That makes it all worth it. Well, sort of. Dude, despite what some of these zipperheads have done to this city and a few are still trying to inflict upon it, this is still a relatively safe and slow-paced community that recently added some very big city amenities. With a bit of fine tuning from some responsible leaders-this place could soar to new heights relatively quickly. To be completely honest, despite our current fiscal handicaps, I think we're about to soar to those seemingly unattainable heights. I really do.

I don't care what happens to Michael Jackson. If he's found innocent, so be it. If he's found guilty and shipped off to some home for wayward little boys, dittos. But as his trial rapidly approaches, I pray that they do not put him on the stand to testify in his own defense. It's well, well beyond sad listening to him trying to defend his NAMBLA tendencies.

I'm hungry.

CYA