1-24-2004 Susan Dey in a landslide

Do you know what today is an anniversary of? Six years ago today President Clinton said, "I didn’t have sex with that woman” – or as we call it, the start of the golden age of comedy.--David Letterman

According to the latest polling data, Susan Dey is leading Maureen McCormick by a whopping 87%-13% and Wilkes-Barre Online is declaring her the winner in the 2004 Ancient Uber-Babe contest. Personally, I think you're all full of manure, but we can argue that one on another day.

Captain Kangaroo went and left us. If it wasn't for that show my mom would have been committed to the bowels of some mental institution many years ago. Being a hyperactive sort with an attention span shorter than your average disposable lighter, the only show that that could make me park myself in front of our 13" black & white TV was Captain Kangaroo. My morning routine was Cheerios, 6 or 8 Flintstones vitamins when mom wasn't paying attention, and then the Captain. That was so long ago, the only character I could even remember these days was Mr. Green Jeans. As soon as the show was over each morning, I was right back to making sound effects, playing stunt man, and generally, just running around in circles all day. Oh, and sneaking some more vitamins.

Check this e-mail:

*******I see Tony George is set for life. He gets his city pension and a job at a local school. Try as we might you will never change this area. The people wih connections keep tripping over jobs and benefits. We get to pay for it all. It shows that your afraid to say any negative about the WB cops but I was curious what you think about this.*******

I'm afraid to say anything negative about the copper dudes??? Where did they grow you? I don't need to say anything negative about the Wilkes-Barre Police Department! I don't give them any reason to muck with me and they don't go out of their way to muck with anyone unless they obviously need mucking with. Did I not point out that Erika took what she thought was my entire fireworks stash? And did I not point out that I suspected that her immediate family probably enjoyed lighting my fireworks later that night? I seriously doubt that any police department would pile explosives in the evidence room. Sorry, but except for the fireworks incident, I have no other gripes that come to mind.

Our former police chief earned his retirement benefits and is now free to persue other adventures. If he gets a job at the Vo-Tech School that affects you and I how? I don't give a flyin' farg. More power to him. I read that his city pension is worth $37,000 per year and if I was in that position, there's no way I'd be working anywhere anymore. Muck that! But, that's just me.

And I've examined the argument that offering retirement benefits after only twenty years is too generous and too costly for the taxpayers. That's completely true if we're discussing secretarial positions and data entry type positions. Actually, that's too early for folks that dress up bang a gavel. In regards to the police and fire departments, it's a necessary, albeit costly evil. A certain percentage of turnover is necessary in those departments unless you want nothing but gray-haired folks protecting you from the growing ranks of the criminal element, or trying to save your child from a burning structure. Call me stupid, but I'd prefer to have my cops and firemen drinking Gatorade over Geritol any day.

If Tony George is going to be teaching horticulture or welding any time soon it won't affect us one iota. Pay attention to the issues that can.

So this is how those plastic surgeons did it. You know, taking an otherwise average human being and changing him into a freakish sideshow. Try your hand at it.

It's just not going to let up, is it?

The Voice reported today that we're facing another financial hit. The folks that own the former warehouse directly across the street from the Planter's Peanuts building claim the city is liable for $148,000 in damages for a shell of a building they paid $100,000 for. How the hell does that add up?

It seems that after a few bricks fell from the building's facade, ex-mayor McDemo ordered that the entire front of the building be torn away by city employees, in effect exposing the complete interior of the structure without ever notifying the owners of the dump first. Yet another not-so-smooth move on his behalf, but exactly what we eventually came to expect from the guy who mistakenly thought that being the mayor of the city meant he had somehow taken ownership of it. In other words, he f**ked-up yet again.

In all honesty, the folks that own this dump need to be told to go pound their puds already. Isn't this just revolting to the point of wanting to freak out? Oh, golly gee! You damaged my rotting eyesore! I'm gonna sue! And their attorney claims that this is a "viable part of the city because of new development taking place there." But when there was nothing but vacant and derelict properties surrounding theirs, they were content with the fact that it was rotting away. And that should end up costing the city money?

Way to go McTommy. You put us in yet another bad position.

Let's up that $10 million TAN to $12 million just in case any more of McTommy's surprises await us.

I have discussed those pics of the TV anchor babe with a few since linking to to the pics and it was pointed out to me tonight that she had zero visible tan lines. No kidding. Hmmm. In other words, despite her claim that this stripping fiasco was a one time event, she makes it a habit to be nekkid.

There has also been much discussion as to which of our local anchor babes should follow suit and this deranged thought eeked out of my troubled brain: I'll betcha if we got Tom Clark good and drunk, we could get him to take his ear muffs off.


Thanks to a city businessman, the kids and I will be off to see the PENS at the Wachovia Arena tomorrow night. I surprised by how they jumped at the chance to attend this game, but had never bothered to attend one before. I found that to be somewhat interesting. Is the non-stop advertising reaching the younger twenty-somethings? Ya' got me, man.

Anyway, I've been scouting tomorrow night' opponent, Norfolk, and noticed that they will be playing for the third consecutive night when the Zamboni heads back behind the gates. That's good for those of us rooting for the home team. Pittsburgh just sent down tomorrow's likely starter in goal, but with a 3.87 goals against average; I'm not sure if that's a good thing. If we've got a goalie who's confidence has waned, we need to clog center ice, dump and chase the puck into their zone, and keep it the hell away from him while he cools his jets. Then again, what the hell do I know? I lack the French-Canadien accent necessary to be making any hockey decisions. Sounds like fun.

And when we leave that behemoth of a building, supposedly, we'll have scads upon scads of snow to look forward to. Cool!

The 'AMBAC Watch' is officially on. We need that $10 million if we're going to get this city back on the right track. Despite what the clueless taxpayer watchdogs are barking about, more debt is exactly what we need right now. To claim otherwise suggests that the protectors of the taxpayers lack the necessary experience and business acumen to be telling anybody what they should, or should not be doing.

They need to turn the squelch up quite a bit while the adults grapple with all of McTommy's piled debts. Or at the very least, get jobs for themselves.

Gotta go. Gage Andrew and I are headed for some serious tunage.