2-29-2004 All Units: Thompson Street

They know that Wilkes-Barre has a lot of potential. We can do great things in the next five years.--Kevin Blaum

Here! Here!

While out and about today, I ran across a Madison Street resident that is about ready to throw in the towel and move to Mountain Top. Or is it MountainTop? Whatever. Dude, while I completely understand your frustrations, I hope that you reconsider. If enough of the good people remain here, Wilkes-Barre can shine again. We need all of the help we can get. We need you.

It's funny. As we parted ways, Madison Street Dude shook my hand and thanked me for at least trying to make some small difference. It's debatable if I did or not, but after arriving at the very next intersection, I got a healthy death stare from another local. While some folks enjoy having an internet locale dealing with local stuff, others would prefer that it didn't exist at all. Love me, or hate me-I'm here to stay. Deal with it.

I just got off the phone with "My Boy," Rush Limbaugh and he told me what to say today.

What do the City of Wilkes-Barre and Michael Jackson have in common? A couple months back, wifey and I watched a show in which Mikey blew a million bucks in a half hour at some retail outlet reserved for the Gods. Now he's shopping at Sprawl-Mart? He needs some serious help.

Guess what? We had baby killers in our family too.

Michael Joseph Kirwan, 1886-1970

KIRWAN, Michael Joseph, a Representative from Ohio; born in Wilkes-Barre, Luzerne County, Pa., December 2, 1886; attended the public and high schools of his native city; moved to Youngstown, Mahoning County, Ohio, in 1907; during the First World War served overseas as a sergeant in the Three Hundred and Forty-eighth Machine Gun Company with the Sixty-fourth Artillery, United States Army, 1917-1919; engaged in the mercantile business 1930-1936; member of the Youngstown City Council 1932-1936; elected as a Democrat to the Seventy-fifth and to the sixteen succeeding Congresses, serving from January 3, 1937, until his death in Bethesda, Md., July 27, 1970; interment in Calvary Cemetery, Youngstown, Ohio.

It's sad. I always looked up to my grandfather's brother, "Uncle Mike" as we called him. During the late sixties, he was the longest serving member of the House and one of the most powerful men in D.C. But...he served overseas in the U.S. military. Thanks to John Kerry and his merry band of mental trollops, we now know what that means.

I wonder what became of his collection of shrunken heads? Maybe Uncle John will know. I'll give him a buzz.

Since we're so eager to read about Kerry's experiences in the military, try to find a copy of his book, "The New Soldier," which according to NewsMax, "all but disappeared from bookstores after a political opponent used it to defeat him in his first bid for Congress the next year." I guess getting the word out wasn't nearly as important to him as getting himself elected was.

Dubya has been called upon to produce every single scrap of paper he might still possess to document his whereabouts during his "AWOL" years. I went through my scrapbooks and my filing cabinets looking for old report cards. I could only find one from my high school years. One. That's it. I could only find one paycheck stub from my twelve years at Franklin's. What should we conclude from this experiment? Was I "AWOL" way back when? Did I receive my high school diploma fraudulently? Am I lying when I claim to have managed a restaurant? That depends on one's party affiliation. I guess.

From that same NewsMax piece:

Kerry's presidential campaign has declined to respond to NewsMax's requests for VVAW financial records from the time (Jane) Fonda was the group's chief financial backer.

Nifty. What works for the goose apparently doesn't work for the gander. Dubya is hiding something, but Kerry isn't. Is that how the game is going to be played? It is when one party is being consumed by hate and would prefer to stick a shiv in between the president's ribs to voting against him.

And my big secret is out. My National Honor Society certificate is a forgery. The reason punctuation totally escapes me is because I never attended high school at all. Wait! I have old clippings from the Coughlin High Bowling League detailing my awesome scores. Not enough proof you say?

Darn. It sure is tough being a Republican these days.

Taylor Kate hit the eleven month mark yesterday. Today it was decided that she would be stuffed into the stroller and accompany Gage Andrew and I on our usual Sunday morning jaunt to Oh Yes. You made it kid. The walkabout circuit is now yours to enjoy.

We visited Bobby and then headed up N. Main toward Bedwick foods. And then the portable scanner chirps up. I knew what I had just heard, but I couldn't freakin' believe my ears. A car-jacking? On Thompson street of all places? On a quiet Sunday morning? I wasn't worried about my kids safety being that they were all at work, but my neighbors names started running through my mind. This is nuts. Who got jacked?

I yanked the cell phone out of my jacket pocket, dialed wifey, and told her to stick her face outside. Before I could say another word, she interrupted me with: "He told her 'drive and you won't get hurt.'" Who? Who, damn it?! "Mike's sister-in-law." She filled-in a few more details, I hung up, and I told Gage to step up the pace. He seemed to slow down after that and then informed me that his belly hurt and he wanted me to carry him. Bust my ass, why dontcha? I'll carry one toddler and push the other all the way back to the adobe. I think he didn't like sharing his walkabout with his sister for the first time. I ended up stuffing Gage into the luggage compartment under his sister and doing my best Kevin Harvick impersonation.

We got back on the lead lap and arrived back here at the adobe to find cop cars virtually everywhere. They were searching for the perp here, there, and everywhere. As if I wasn't getting enough static from Gage, I told him grandma called the cops because he was being such a boldie, and the cops came to get him. He started crying on my ass. Argh! We put that fire out and I headed outside to talk to Mike. Here's the scoop.

Mike was working on his van in the lot right next to the adobe as he so frequently does. His sister-in-law and another female relative exited their house on Penn ave. and climbed into their SUV parked at the end of Thompson. Some cretin bolted into the back seat and said to them, "Drive and you won't get hurt." Mike's sis pulled up the street, turned into our lot, and started screaming for Mike. The car-jacker jumped out and fled down Penn ave. with Mike giving chase. He disappeared behind the homes near the business incubator. The cops arrived and searched the hell out of the area, but to no avail. God! I wish I was home at the time. The serious wheels under my torso are finely tuned. Can you get in trouble for roughing up a car-jacker before the cops arrive on scene? I sure hope not. The good news is that Mike was in the lot again today. If not, this entire affair could have turned out much, much worse.

So...just when we thought the time was right to allow young Taylor Kate to wander the streets of Nord End with her Pop Pop, we are once again reminded that we are surrounded by assholes. Why is it again that us average folks shouldn't be allowed to arm ourselves?

And if that's not alarming enough, the Vampires at the top of the street seem to have come out of their long hibernation. Somebody's brother recently got out of prison and Thompson street is right back in the drug business. And I will be all over them like flies on sh*t again. I already sicced a detective on the high priestess today, and all of a sudden she's in and out of her front door repeatedly looking down the street and up the alley. Her cage got rattled. And the Attack Car comes on duty in less than an hour.

From WNEP.com:

The standoff continued into early Sunday morning. A tow truck pulled the door off the building. Police and a police dog went in, and they captured the suspect.

Apparently somebody in the Dunmore P.D. saw that SWAT movie.

Kayak Dude is still on the prowl:

Inflatable dam could be harmful to environment It's amusing that the experts keep saying the deflatable dam is a bad idea at this time, but the politicians keep saying otherwise.

Jersey Dude, from the e-mail inbox:

*******that sucks that I might actually have to pay those tickets, considering I am broke as sh*t. Isn't there some deadline those tickets had to be paid by before they were rendered not collectable?*******

Ya got me on that one. Parking Enforcement Dude, care to render an opinion? We've got panicked former King's students here. You may be broke as sh*t, but the city wouldn't be looking to collect on those tickets if it wasn't broke as sh*t also. There'a a new Sheriff in town and he ain't putting up with no scofflaws. Sorry Dude. If you run across a Wilkes-Barre Parking Enforcement vehicle there in New Jersey, run like hell.

Wow! This ought to get the "I hate Bushies" spewing all over themselves. Never, ever dare to attack our first communist president, or his willing selective memory partner. To the gulag with you. From my now dreaded e-mail inbox:

*******Billy And His Bride (you know, the one that was President and the one that wants to be President!)

Bill Clinton registers for the draft on September 08, 1964, accepting all contractual conditions of registering for the draft.

Given Selective Service Number 3 26 46 228.

Bill Clinton classified 2-S on November 17, 1964.

Bill Clinton reclassified 1-A on March 20, 1968.

Bill Clinton ordered to report for induction on July 28, 1969.

Bill Clinton dishonors order to report and is not inducted into the military.

Bill Clinton reclassified 1-D after enlisting in the United States Army Reserves on August 07,1969 under authority of Col.E.Holmes.

Clinton signs enlistment papers and takes oath of enlistment.

Bill Clinton fails to report to his duty station at the University of Arkansas ROTC, September 1969.

Bill Clinton reclassified 1-A on October 30, 1969, as enlistment with Army Reserves is revoked by Colonel E. Holmes and Clinton now AWOL and subject to arrest under Public Law 90-40 (2) (a) "registrant who has failed to report....remain liable for induction."

Bill Clinton's birth date lottery number is 311, drawn December 1,1969, but anyone who has already been ordered to report for induction is INELIGIBLE!

Bill Clinton runs for Congress (1974), while a fugitive from justice under Public Law 90-40.

Bill Clinton runs for Arkansas Attorney General (1976), while a fugitive from justice.

Bill Clinton receives pardon on January 21, 1977, from Carter.

Bill Clinton (FIRST PARDONED FEDERAL FELON) ever to serve as President.

All these facts come from Freedom of Information requests, public laws, and various books that have been published, and have not been refuted by Clinton..

After the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, which killed six and injured 1,000; President Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down and punished.

After the 1995 bombing in Saudi Arabia, which killed five U.S.&nbs p; military personnel; Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down and punished.

After the 1996 Khobar Towers bombing in Saudi Arabia, which killed 19 and injured 200 U.S. military personnel; Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down and punished.

After the 1998 bombing of U.S. embassies in Africa, which killed 224 and injured 5,000; Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down and punished.

After the 2000 bombing of the USS Cole, which killed 17 and injured 39 U.S. sailors; Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down and punished.

Maybe if Clinton had kept those promises, an estimated 3,000 people in New York and Washington, D.C. that are now dead would be alive today.

AN INTERESTING QUESTION: This question was raised on a Philly radio call-in show. Without casting stones, it is a legitimate question. There are two men, both extremely wealthy. One develops relatively cheap software and gives billions of dollars to charity. The other sponsors terrorism. That being the case, why was it that the Clinton Administration spent more money chasing down Bill Gates over the eight years in office, than Osama bin Laden? THINK ABOUT IT!

It is a strange turn of events. Hillary gets $8 Million for her memoirs.

Bill gets about $12 Million for his memoirs yet to be written. This from two people who spent 8 years being unable to recall anything about past events while under oath!*******

If you liked Billy the dress stainer, and if you voted for "Alpha-Male" Gore; you're gonna love Kerry. Possessing a selective memory seems to be a prerequisite for joining that coalition of mostly disparate, one issue groups called the Democrats.

One more time!

Bush is a liar!!!!!!!!

Repeat that over and over until you can't remember anything else.

And then stupidly decide to debate the important issues of the day.

And always remember that Bush stole the election, even though it was Al Gore that decided to turn the entire election on it's head. Lemme see now. Is that a dimpled chad, a hanging chad, a pregnant chad, a Sumo chad, or a sexually aroused chad?

Or is there something else I neglected to read?

Later, kiddies.