3-3-2004 Kerry vs. Bushzilla

I will do anything within limits -- I will not sacrifice one of my grandchildren, for example -- to elect John Kerry.--Florida Senator, Bob Graham

He won't sacrifice a grandchild? That's a bit of a surprise coming from the "I hate Bush" side of the aisle. Another less than eloquent Democrat.

And then there were two. John Kerry swamped John Edwards on Super Tuesday and now his mad dash to the center will begin. The phrase "Benedict Arnold CEOs" will now go the way of the dinosaur while squaring off against an incumbent president that believes in allowing business to do what only business can do. Namely, create jobs and wealth. Kerry has got the nomination, so big business won't be evil anymore as he seeks another infusion of campaign donations. Put that aside. Put the fact that he supported NAFTA and GATT aside. The unions still strongly support him. (?)

Last night, Bob Dole said that "Kerry should go after Bush as his opponent and not as his enemy," as he has been doing quite vociferously for months now. Exactly right, and Kerry is no fool. He whipped the "I hate Bushies" into a feeding frenzy, and now he'll be forced to cool it with the reckless and accusatory rhetoric. Expect to hear a lot of, "What I said was...," or, "What I meant was...," coming from Kerry in a big, big hurry. Look where the non-stop single-issue drumbeat of "I hate Bush" got Howard Dean when the time finally came to pull the levers. The time has come for Kerry to replace the hatred with an examination of the issues and his own record. This is gonna be fun. Mr. Flip-Flop has got some 'splaining to do.

Can Al Sharpton, and Dennis the Menace take a freakin' hint?

I've heard a lot of speculation about whether Hitlery might be Kerry's running mate. That's a tough one to call knowing that she wants to be the president one day. If offered to her, should she run as his VEEP, or refer back to those copies of FBI files she doesn't have looking for a bombshell to derail Kerry's campaign train? A conspiracy theory. Cool. That stuff doesn't really happen in Washington D.C., does it? Ask Speaker of the House for a day, Bob Livingston.

Whatever. The long march to November is underway.

Since when do we get artist's renditions of criminals in Wilkes-Barre? Is this something new? I can't remember seeing many of these in the newspapers as of late. I was surprised to open the Leader and see the face of the miniature car-jacker. 5' 9", 150 pounds? It would have been interesting if the lady that he tried to jack decided to fight him. Being that her small child was endangered, the smart better goes with her.

So, who is that puke? Does anybody recognize him? He kinda looks a little like SNAKE. Kinda. A BOLO alert is not necessary just yet. I'll try drawing some shades on the puke. WNEP just showed up at headquarters seeking a copy of the artist's rendition of The Thompson Street Puke, so if he's capable of it, he had better grow a beard.

"Drive and you won't get hurt." Try hide and you won't get hurt in prison.

When is that theater going to be built? Not in time for AVP, but there's a bigger monster on the horizon. I just finished reading the script for the opening sequence of Alien 5 and I am ready for some more primal screams in space. Check this:

Ripley journeys to the Alien planet for a final showdown with her many-toothed, acid-bleeding foes. The fifth installment in the venerable series.

At the risk of sounding like a SAYSO caller, Mayor Tom Leighton is going to scare the hell out of the residents of Wilkes-Barre. And I can't wait.

Have you seen any of the MoveOn.org television ads attacking Dubya? How could a group posing as a grass roots outfit afford national television ads? I've explored their web site and I've been interested in where their funding comes from. The great majority of it comes from one George Soros. When some of us suggest that this country's sovereignty is being slowly whittled away, we're not just whistling Dixie. Take a lil' journey into The Mind of George Soros

Here's another interesting piece about George Soros.

And then there's the trail of money from Theresa Heinz. She's way too far left to still be called far-left. How about quasi-commie? The Heinz Cluster

I'm gonna start buying generic ketchup. Screw that agenda. The boycott list has a new addition.

Ask and you shall recieve. A copy of the Sue Henry/Patty Leighton edition of Happenings Magazine is on it's way. That was easy enough. Okay. Next, I want a copy of "Argh! A Music War!" Or how about Frank Zappa brought back to life? I have been put on notice that the Happenings girls are real hoochie mamas. Who could disagree with that?

From the e-mail inbox:

*******If I could, I'd enlist today and help my country track down those responsible for killing thousands of innocent people in New York City and Washington, DC

But, I'm over 60 now and the Armed Forces say I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 35 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join until you're at least 35. For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more that 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy. Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier.

If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them into submission. "My back hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote control?" An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war until you're at least old enough to legally drink. An average old guy, on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he's 35 and a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-60 would do wonders for the old beer belly. An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys get up early (to pee).

If old guys are captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd probably forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser. Boot camp would actually be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food.

We've also developed a deep appreciation for guns and rifles. We like them almost better than naps. They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after training. I can hear the Drill Sergeant now, "Get down and give me...er...one." And the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to actually carry on a conversation, to wear pants without the top of the butt crack showing and the boxer shorts sticking out, to learn that a pierced tongue catches food particles, and that a 200-watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda Accord can rupture an eardrum. All great reasons to keep our sons at home and to learn a little more about life before sending them off to a possible death, let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked our hearts on September 11.

The last thing the enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million old farts with attitudes.*******

WHOO-AH! AH! My neck. Cramp.

Me gotta go. I got some stuff to do.

I'm staying out all night tonight.