1-29-2007 Corbett vs. Carney

Despite a lack of any official announcement or programming changes, itís apparent that WILK has hired Steve Corbett, the former Times Leader opinion columnist. Before relocating to California a ways back, he hosted a weekend talk show on WILK. If memory serves me correctly, I believe I called and locked horns with him three times. And needless to say, youíll never catch the two of us swapping spit.

Itís certainly been a while, but Iíve called WILK and did verbal battle with Kevin Lynn a few times. And calling it a battle is putting it mildly when you consider that those calls all ended with Kevin shouting at me right before he hung up on me. The last time I called, he flew into a rage because he mistakenly thought I was one of those anonymous political bloggers who find it so easy to spew invective from the relative safety their anonymity provides them. It ended something like this:

Chia: YOU WANT TO GIVE US YOUR NAME OVER THE AIR!!!

MC: SURE!!! ITíS MARK COUR!!!

CHIA:SPELL IT!!!

MC:M!!!Ö.A!!!ÖR!!!ÖK!!!ÖC!!!Ö

At that point, I was disconnected. But, as Iíve pointed out many times before, in this forum, Kevin cannot hang up on me.

The point is, if you canít match wits with local yokels like Kevin Lynn or Steve Corbett, you ought not be calling any radio talk shows. And I mean no disrespect. Itís just that they are not nearly as savvy and all-knowing as they believe themselves to be, thatís all. They are Flintstonian when compared to their peers on the national stage.

With that said, during the run-up to the last election, Chris Carney was presented to us by the local pundits as the best thing since sliced, bioengineered bread. His credentials, his experience and what have you were said to be above scrutiny, as well as his personal life. He was supposedly so far and away a superior candidate to ole bumbling Don Sherwood, voting for him was an absolute no-brainer. Right from the get-go, we were told he was the man.

But, it has come to my attention that he cannot handle Steve Corbett. In fact, when presented with the likes of Steve Corbett, he chose to cut and run from an interview on WILK. If you follow this link and register as a member, you can hear this exchange at WILKĎs Audio on Demand page.

So, Chris Carney couldnít go toe-to-toe with Steve Corbett, but I, Charles Mansonís illegitimate love child could. And in my spinning mind, thatís not a good sign.

But thatís what being completely partisan provides us with: Candidates that are only marginally better than the incumbents they seek to replace. When the pundits tell you the clear choice is to vote on strictly partisan lines, they are selling you a bill of goods.

Sez me.

And if Steve Corbettís return to the area media scene isnít enough, Fred Williams, the former WILK talk jock, suddenly appeared in todayís Times Leader with some commentary on Mohegan Sun. I still miss that guy. He was a hoot.

And since Steve Corbett is apparently joining WILK in some still unannounced capacity, I want to weigh in on that. Nancy, please dump Sean Hannity and give us three more hours of local talk every day.

Please.

The Vurtego?

As if our local emergency rooms arenít put on diversion enough, hereís a new and exciting way to injure yourselves.

Boing! Boing! Awwwwwwwwwww!

911: Medic 5...14-year-old maleÖunable to ambulate, bleeding from the head and unresponsive.

Maybe this will help once the Vurtego catches on locally:

Upgrade for city does a heart good

Queen Hillary, donít quit your frickiní part-time day job any time soon. I hate to appear to be so insolent, but I am averting my eyes out of feigned respect and absolute fear. Donít have me sent wrapped in a carpet to the local park.

What would Simon Cowell have to say about that?

Note to local employers: Shun the druggies at all costs.

A good turn by vet Kathio ends in suit

The drug users like to repeat this self-serving hogwash wherein the usage of illegal drugs is a victimless crime.

Really? Try selling that one to Dr. Kathio.

Drugs: You canít live without them and we canít wait until you overdose.

Now grab that hitter pipe and do society a big, big favor.

I cold really care less about domesticated animals. In fact, I donít like them none too much. But, being that I once decided to keep up with the Jonesí, I had to get me a wife and a car and a kid and a house and a teenaged daughter with a see-thru blouse who loved to grind and ball. Well, maybe not that last part, but I was forced--against my will--to raise the kids alongside a puppy and a kitty. The aged kitty passed away in 2005 at age 16. The puppy is even more aged than that and stillÖwell, still annoying me to no end.

I have been accused on many occasions of being ďmeanĒ to animals. And I have been treated to all sorts of babble about how people who are mean to animals grow up to be serial killers and what have you. Far as I can recall, I havenít buried anybody in the crawl space yet.

Mean? Me? I donít know about all of that. Yes, I terrorized our kitty with numerous squirt guns over the years. And, yes, Iíd giggle myself almost dizzy watching Ashes chase the red dot my laser pointer generated. I once stuffed an unsuspecting kitty into a hamster ball just to see if itíd like it. It didnít. Far as I know, I didnít cause any physical injuries. Maybe a psychological scar or two. After a while it got to the point where if I entered a room, our pets would exit said room. And that was perfectly fine with me.

With that said, Iím all grown up and much better now. Well, that is to say, I genuinely thought I was all better now. But earlier today I ran across this here video Iím linking to and thought: Cool! I just have to get me one of these.

Meow!!!!!!!!!!!.

Is this a belated cry for help on my part?

Not!

My sources at City Hall tell me that this (see video) is going to be part of the new Coal Street park.

When asked about The Human Slingshot, high-ranking city officials chose not to comment.

I canít think of a single one.

Later