11-16-2004 The Energizer Activist on Steroids

How's this for a walkabout? From the adobe here in Nord End to the doctor's office at the tippy, tippy top of Georgetown. From there to PNC bank on Market Street. And from there back here to the adobe. And yet, my kids have the nuts to tell me I'm getting old.

Here's a nifty snippet from a Times Leader story:

The Responsible Utility Customer Protection Bill easily passed the state house, 164 to 36. Of Luzerne County's delegation, only state Reps. George Hasay, R-Shickshinny, and Jim Wansacz, D-Old Forge, voted for the bill.

Basically, what these two legislators have done is to sell out your safety, and your wallet to the Energy Association of Pennsylvania. They can spin this every which way they wish, but they just provided a warm mouth for the utility lobbyists in this backwards state.

More from that Leader story:

The Energy Association of Pennsylvania represents the gas and electric companies and is pushing for the bill's passage. The association claims the proposal would address persistent problems that natural gas and electric companies have absorbing increasing costs of delinquent bills. "We're getting to the point now where we have 117,000 customers who don't pay us anything over the winter," said J. Michael Love, president of the Energy Association of Pennsylvania. "What's happening is good-paying customers are being asked to pay for bad-paying customers."

And what does this mean for the little guy. The dupes that voted for these two legislators? Let's visit today' Voice story, shall we?

Without regard for good prior payment records, the utility companies can terminate services for gas, electricity and water without notice, even in the dead of winter under the proposal before the Senate.

The senior citizens' advocacy group sees the pending legislation impacting the numbers of deaths due to home fires, carbon monoxide poisoning and hypothermia.

Tough titties, you freakin' deadbeats!

More from the Voice:

He also said the bill's introduction was done without public input.

"What makes this bill more significant is that there have been no public hearings involved. No consumer protections groups have been given the opportunity to voice opinions in a public forum," he said.

The legislation would allow utility companies to shut off services without first notifying the PUC.

Senate Bill 689 allows utilities to require two-month deposits for as many as three separate utility bills, including water, electric, and gas, for new customers and would make all persons living in a household liable for the debt of the person named on the bill, in addition to other provisions.

Consumers who wish to dispute their utility bill will be required to pay a $40 filing fee to the PUC.

That's it? That's it? Why not a $100.00 per month surcharge to read our meters? How's about if the utility companies can sell our children into slavery in Thailand if we get more than three weeks behind on our winter heating bills that now rival the level of the national debt? Those drunken Portugese sailors visiting Bangkok for the very first time need sex too. Right?

This is about the biggest outrage I can remember coming from any elected official professing to be working hard, no, fighting for their constituents. These dupes need to be contacted and told we're not going to take it dry on this one. Just to be somewhat reasonable, they need to set up some free vaseline giveaways at our local Salvation Army outlets.

E-Mail: jwansacz@pahouse.net

Hon. Jim Wansacz
108 S. Main Street
Old Forge, PA 18518
Toll Free Phone: (877) 295-4937
(570) 451-3110
Fax: (570) 451-3306

Hon. Jim Wansacz
Scott Township Municipal Building
RR#1, Box 432 D
Olyphant, PA 18447
(570) 254-9672
Fax: (570) 254-7063

Hon. George C. Hasay
5315 Main Road, P.O.Box 316
Sweet Valley, PA 18656
(570) 477-3752
Fax: (570) 477-3468

Oh, and don't forget about these ankle grabbers at the Energy Association of Pennsylvania. Oh, gee whiz. I think I dropped the soap again. Goodie! Goodie!

I sent this e-mail their way just to let 'em all know we're thinking about them. It says "Contact Us" right at the very top of their site.

*******Senate Bill 689. You are going to stir up quite the hornet's nest in this area which, economically speaking, lags well behind the remainder of the state. Hang on to your shut-off wrenches, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.*******

Hmmm. Let's play scenario, shall we?

You're a 21 year-old cook with a wife and a new baby. Your rent is due very soon. Your February gas bill is already overdue. The baby needs formula, cereal, diapers, and your next WIC check isn't due for two more weeks. What do you do?

Come on. This one is simple. You pay the gas bill, risk getting your family evicted from Slumlord Row, and feed the newborn some Skittles. Or Razzles stew, perhaps. Think, people.

By the way, drop me a line and I'll send you my secret Razzles stew recipe.

I'll give you another chance.

You're a Wilkes-Barre firemen and also a trained paramedic. A call comes in for a 72 year-old female described as being cold, blue, unresponsive and frozen to a rocking chair. How should you respond? Should you request a scraper from DPW and scrape her frozen body away from the rocker? Or should you have F-6 drop by the homestead and grab sissy's 21 billion jigawatt blow dryer, and thaw somebody's Mammy loose?

I'm waiting? You're getting graded on this.

How about if your S-10 gets crushed through no fault of your own and it takes a full month to get your first disability check?

Or how about when hubby announces to wifey (who hasn't had a job in years) that he's trading her in for a younger, tighter model, and splits the entire marriage program. Oh, well. No big thang. Within weeks the furnace gets shut off. Guess she'll just have to plug in an electric heater in every room and hope the entire place doesn't turn into a serious structure fire.

I could go on and on with this.

Wansacz & Hasay: Working hard on the wet side of the bed for you.

***I'm Mark W. Cour, I approved this message, and I wish like hell I could vote against these two yo-yos.

From...dem dere e-mail thingamabob:


Thet thar postin has got ta be one of yer bestest ever. Ah ma tellin you! Woohoo-y'all shore gave thet fat soopid Holleewood homo a what for. (Snort,scratch)

But for me it was the Sleestaks from The Land of the Lost. Now, Kathleen Coleman was certainly worth watching, but it was those damned hissing sleestaks that I knew were out there waiting for me, big eyes, hissing…waiting for me to go to sleep….*******

Dun need no newfangled commie bastards a comin' round here tellin' us what to think. I'm a God-fearin' man. And I'm a goll dern handsome man. I got me lotsa guns and a ugly bitch who luvs me. And I'm a gonna bend the next sorry sumbitch that insults ma mind ova the darned nearest log. You sure got a pretty mouf. Squeal, piggy!

Opal, you hot lil' bitch!

Sleestaks? Holy flying monkeys, Batman! How old aren't you? I was like 40 years-old when that show first premiered. That wasn't even beamed into our homes in black-and-white. Hey, if they bothered to turn the Flintstones and such into full-blown movies, why not a Sleestak movie? Something along the lines of Alien vs. Predator, perhaps. What do you think? Sleestaks vs....???

It's...time for yet another exciting chapter of The Energizer Activist on Steroids. In this brand new, but banal episode, "Council Bad/Council Wannabe Good," the Energizer Activist repeats his same, tired, self-serving message for the 1,000th time, but somehow, true to form, makes it exciting nonetheless. This episode, written by Herbie "Kill Council" Analbrox, suggests to the uninformed listener that gainful employment and earned available benefits is somehow proof of out-of-control greed. And a cameo appearance by none other than Lightning Rod Man and his trusty sidekick, Dick the Wonder Watchdog, (Do the Wonder chant now: COUNCRIL MUSS DIE!!!) provide plenty of madcap hijinx bordering on total lunacy. Hang on to your decoder rings, boys and girls. Those diabolical council folks are a worthy and ruthless opponent not to be outdown by mere mortal men, an aging superhero from Wanamie, and relentless political job seekers everywhere. It is also this reporters opinion that this new episode easily outshines even the legendary "Council Earns more than God" ten disc collection. Enjoy.

From todays Voice. Or, any days Voice. I think it qualifies as a new regular column at this point.

City Council Sux by Walter Griffith

Council members should lower salaries and refuse all benefits

I am writing to respond to a letter to the editor by Wilkes-Barre City Councilman Bill Barrett, wherein he stated that I was misinformed and misleading in my letter about the perks and greed of city council members.

Mr. Barrett has stated that he doesn't take any benefits as a council member, and I never stated that he did. I did state that Mr. Barrett cannot by law take the city health care buyout. Mr. Barrett does, however, get his health care benefits from the city because his wife is an employee of City Hall. Mr. Barrett also takes a county-funded perk from the taxpayers by working as chief of security at Luzerne County Community College, where he takes a buyout for his health care benefits from the county taxpayers.

I would like this administration to be honest with the taxpayers who pay their salaries and do the right thing by lowering their salaries and removing all health care benefits for their part-time work. The taxpayers deserve this and demand it from city government.

Walter Griffith Jr.

Wilkes Barre

Oh, the greed. The shameless, unchecked greed. If only this administration would be honest with the taxpayers. Mr. Barrett accepts a buy-out on his health insurance on the county dole. Just like those ultra greedy bastards in the private sector do. This is what can happen when you vote against Walter. If only we knew. If only we knew. What have we done? It's too late now. We're done. Sunk. Screwed. Funked. Vamoosed. Game over, man. I can't go on.

10-43!!! 10-43!!!

Don't try to stop me!!!

Mark Cour

November 16, 2004

Mark Cour, 46, of Thompson Street, died Tuesday at home after learning of Bill Barrett's unabashed greed.

He was born in Endicott, New York, son of the awol Eugene Cour (f**kface) and the late Dorothy Kirwan.

He was preceded in death by sister Rebecca Mary, his way awesome Nord End grandparents, the Kirwans; all ten of his hamsters and a thrice-neutered Brazilian newt.

Surviving are sister, Susan, Wilkes-Barre; brother, Ray, Dallas; son, Marque, Wilkes-Barre; daughters Peace, Pottsville; Ebon at home; son-in-law, Old What's-his-name; and three little rodents that keep trashing his adobe. Oh, yeah! And wifey, his chief apologist for 25 years. And tons of other folks that got on his next-to-last nerve.

In lieu of a funeral, or any of that other morbid bullspit, please dump his remains down the nearest available strip mining culvert and drink an awful lot of trendy agricultural amusement aides in his honor.

Donations can be made to the Resurrect Frank Zappa Now Foundation.

East Station

The present day composer refuses to die.--Edgar Varese