3-21-2005 The white elephant is no more

Here's some random thoughts I had after reading the papers, the 'net and taking in lots of talk radio.

France is doing away with its 35-hour workweek. Doesn't matter. Their stifled economy will still rival that of those African countries that change their names every ten years.

Terri Schiavo? I really don't give a flying f**k. Although, I will admit that a husband who devotes his life to killing his wife is a bit worrisome.

How 'bout this 'suicide by cops' phenomenal seemingly sweeping the entire county. What's the big freakin' deal? I could care less who the cops shoot, as long as they shoot the right people.

Three bucks for a gallon of gas? Go to Rhoades Car.com and work off that beer gut, why don't you?

Michael Jackson does not need to be convicted. What he needs is to be committed.

If we legalized prostitution and heavily regulated it, would that cut down on the number of creeps grabbing little girls off of the streets?

At this point, who cares who shot JFK?

My paperboy could rape Leonardo DiCaprio.

Wilkes-Barre is not a coal town.

Nuclear power protesters would freak if they experienced a prolonged black-out.

Buy a "Save The Wild Animals" license plate now. Our state zoos desperately need the money.

The only thing wrong with Glen Lyon is that its above sea-level.

If you buy into this global warming malarkey, you are mentally incontinent.

P.T. Barnum could not have envisioned a spectacle as grand as the Clinton presidency.

The S.P.C.A. kills more animals than people who are cruel to animals.

My congressman doesn't vote the wishes of his constituents, yet, he gets himself re-elected again and again.

If everyone obeyed the ten commandments, would the world be in worst shape?

Why is it people that buy homes next to a river with a history of flooding get bailed out financially by F.E.M.A. when it floods?

If a family member dies--Do Not--start another useless foundation to end that particular phenomenon.

The best day care providers are on death row in nursing homes.

Which victim group do you want to be a member of?

Does anyone actually watch the WB Network?

A recent study suggests that recent studies that make suggestions are complete bullspit.

It makes my day a little brighter when death row inmates are executed.

Hmmm....I think that's about it. Hey! Don't blame me. A local talk radio host egged me on a while back. She says we need people that aren't afraid to express their opinions.

A few weeks ago, maybe six to eight weeks ago, I mentioned at this 'net oasis that Wilkes University was going to take that friggin' nightmare of a call center off of our hands. And then it didn't happen overnight. And as we all know, the negative ninnies always bitching about damn near everything want their progress handed to them overnight. Nothing short of instant gratification, or perhaps divine intervention will do when we're talking about taking a giant step forward.

And then last week, somebody sent me a rambling e-mail accusing me of not knowing what the muck I was talking about, interspersed with piles of nasty language previously unbeknownst to me. Imagine that, they waited a few weeks before the lack of progress resulted in their having an anonymous freak out session. A few weeks, that is. It's no wonder our mayor won't announce anything until the pallets of bricks arrive at the construction site. Why make promises that won't happen within eight hours? So anyway, I didn't bother to post the negative ninnie's e-mail on these electronic pages because I knew that my response would be little more than the long version of "You'll see."

Here's a couple of excerpts from a story in the very latest edition of The Beacon, the Wilkes University student newspaper:

Perhaps the most dramatic is the proposed acquisition of the former Call Center at the corner of Main and South Streets. The Call Center may be converted to consolidate several offices into one building.

"Within the next 60 days, we will begin negotiating with the city for the Call Center," said John Pesta, Director of Capital Projects and Planning.

You can read the entire article by following this link: University master plan readied for Trustee's scrutiny

I don't know what the muck I'm babbling on about? Whoopee! Yet another perpetually negative critic clinging to their anonymity that doesn't know what the muck they're going on and on about.

Stick to SAYSO with the rest of 'em, you fembot.

The white elephant is no more.

Not everyone is a friggin' crabass all the time.

From the Leader:

New landlord law will benefit city

Please accept this letter as a means to thank Mayor Tom Leighton and the members of the Wilkes-Barre City Council for passing the new Tenant and Landlord Act for the continuing effort to rebuild the city of Wilkes-Barre. Any person with the ability to see the rebuilding and advancement of this city to the clean and friendly community it was in the past should realize that negativity and complaining does not help.

Matthew T. Jacobs

From the Voice:

W-B's St. Patrick's Day parade brought sunshine, great crowds


Editor: As the Mayor of the City of Wilkes-Barre, I would like to thank everyone who helped to make this year's 25th annual Saint Patrick's Day Parade a success.

On this Sunday afternoon, downtown Wilkes-Barre was alive with activity, bright sunshine and a renewed sense of community. The parade would not have been possible without the hard work, dedication and creativity of those involved.

Thank you to Gov. Ed Rendell and Judge Seamus McCaffrey for taking time out of their busy schedules to serve as honorary grand marshals of the parade. It was an honored to share our city with them, and we look forward to doing so again in the future.

Also, thank you to Martin (Shingles) Lenahan for serving as grand marshal of the parade. A longtime resident of Wilkes-Barre, he represents commitment to both this community and his Irish heritage.

And finally, thank you to the residents of the City of Wilkes-Barre and surrounding areas for celebrating with us on Sunday afternoon. An estimated 15,000 to 20,000 people came to downtown Wilkes-Barre to watch the parade, making it the largest parade in many years.

As the first major event of 2005, the parade is truly the city's crown jewel. We hope that the St. Patrick's Day Parade is just another step in my administration's continuing effort to rebuild the downtown, and I look forward to what the rest of the year brings.

Mayor Thomas M. Leighton

Ah...some upbeat, optimistic folks. If you ask moi, these types of folks don't speak up nearly often enough.

And that St. Patty's Day parade really was a great event. And the attendance was amazing compared to the parades I've taken in. The only one that could rival this one in terms of attendance was the Veteran's Day parade held just a few weeks after the 9/11 attacks. An extraordinary atmosphere for sure.

And it did my heart well to see a couple of asshole protestors hauled off to the bowels of Wilkes-Barre's jail.

It's not hard to tell that I am a voracious reader. And it's obvious that I enjoy reading letters to the editors of newspapers, along with the inspidid SAYSO column. And I try to devour the entire internet on a daily basis. And I love listening to people slug it out on talk radio. In a nutshell, I guess I just can't get enough of other folks espousing their opinions while there can be absolutely no doubt that I'm not shy about sharing mine with just about anyone.

But I do have a complaint.

I was listening to the near three-hour Terri Schiavo debate on Sue Henry's show this morning and I thoroughly enjoyed it. And some guy called the radio show and had to evoke Adolf Hitler's name during the spirited back-and-forth. Apparently, Adolf Hitler felt that the disabled and the aged were, in the caller's words, "useless eaters." And there it was. If you're all for seeing that lady's feeding tube yanked from her body, you're no better than a freaking Nazi on this issue.

And therein lies my complaint.

Can we debate one, single hot-button issue without bringing Hitler's name into it? How long has that sadistic simpleton been dead now? Like, sixty years?

And how assinine is it anyway to call someone the latest Hitler only because they have a different point of view on an issue? If we could get the bongs away from the week-kneed Green Party protestors of the world for a spell, and get a couple of sixes in 'em, I'd bet they'd admit that Dubya really doesn't have much of anything in common with Adolf afterall. You know, some cretin from MoveOn.org probably taught them to throw that bomb at least twice a day. Or Kurt Shotko.

If you think Terri Schiavo should be released to wherever it is that we get released to, you're a little Hitler? If you wanna drill ANWAR, you're no better than the Butcher of Berlin? If you're a welfare reform advocate, some sixty year-old anecdotal evidence proves you should be hung by the neck until you sign your entire paycheck over to some slacker? Will we ever get these left-leaning bomb throwers to admit that no American politician, or their supporters, have anything in common with Adolf Hitler, other than maybe some stupid looking facial hair, or a bad haircut?

A Hitler wannabe? Sorry. I ain't seen, nor heard any lately. And I seriously doubt that the bomb throwers have either.

I don't care how many times Kevin Lynn repeats his assertion that the prosecutor in the Michael Jackson case seems overzealous. We're talking about a 46 year-old "man" that admits he sleeps with little boys. Now, in my mind, a HUGE red flag goes up when any adult admits they want to sleep with children that aren't their own. As a matter of fact, when my kids were cute little toddlers, I enjoyed nothing more than snuggling up with them. But just a couple of short years later, they were on their own with their very own hyper-velocity impact blankets as Godzilla stalked somewhere nearby. It's every man, or small child, for themselves when the giant lizards come a callin' after lights out.

I honestly believe that Michael Jackson will drink a bottle of Aldi's ammonia if he thinks he's in real danger of being convicted and then led off by the snout to some federal prison somewhere. I just can't visualize him mingling with the violent offenders in Cellblock C. I just cannot. And I don't think he can either. Whatever. It don't matter to me all that much. I've got much more important concerns such as recording my old vinyl albums directly to disc. Not one of which has his name on them. The fate of the former king of pop? Who gives a f**k? He's a total freak and he brought his legal problems on all by his lonesome.

But...what if he does end up singing some San Quentin blues? What if? I got to wondering about his possible cellmate.

Here's the scenario that resonated the most.

I'm a black guy who grew up fatherless, penniless and clueless on the mean streets of some inner-city war zone. I got mixed up with some gang at some point bringing me lots of fast chicks, fast cars and fast money. And to earn all of those ill-begotten goodies, all I had to do was commit an occasional violent crime, or some other crime that could just as easily turn violent. I'm a big guy. No, I'm a huge guy. And those two years on the football team got me to lifting some serious weights and I never stopped lifting.

One night, a liquor store robbery went wrong and three people got shot to death. I laid real low for a while, but my bitch had prior raps. And when the cops leaned on her real hard, the bitch gave me up to the cops. This was no big deal until one of my bros agreed to testify against me, and the other shooter. My simp of a lawyer told me I was looking at 6-12 years in prison, and that's about what I got.

And once in the lockup, I took sh*t from no one, and lifted even more weights. And after a spell, no one in that place would dare screw with me other than some of those crazy Mexican gangbangers. But I stuck one of them real good like, and after that, they hated me, but they respected my space. If ya gotta be in prison, ya might as well be near the top of the heap. Ain't nobody gonna f**k with me from here on out.

One day, one of the guards told me I was getting a new cellmate after my longtime cellmate went and hung himself. And but a day or two later, those bastards went and locked Michael Jackson in my cell with me. I screamed through the bars "Get me the f**k outa here, man! Nobody deserves this sh*t! Get me outa here, now! You can't be dis-respectin' me like this, man! Yo! I said get me the f**k outa here! I refuse to..."

The very hardest of the hardcore convicts cohabitating with Michael Jackson? Nah. I just can't see it.

You never know, maybe the prison officials will assign Michael to a Little Tykes castle of his very own at the far end of the recreation yard. Just him and his Little Tykes castle. And some teddy bears. And a My Buddy doll. Or two My Buddy dolls. Or two naked My Buddy dolls. Or a whole slew of...

Whatever. I was just wondering to myself.

From the cavernous "old photos" vault at Wilkes-Barre Online's World Headquarters.

The Healing Field at Wilkes-Barre

I am done for today. Sorry you had to suffer through all of this.

I'm gonna spin this "Ladder 49" DVD my daughter supplied me with. She claims it's an awesome flick.

Would any of you hose dudes out there care to review this movie for the unwashed masses?