4-3-2004 JFK vs OPEC

The price of gas going crazy here in California. It’s the highest in the nation. The average price is like $2.50 a gallon in some places. In fact, gas is so expensive now, a lot of the gangs can’t even afford drive by shootings anymore. They’re just walking around shooting people now.--Jay Leno

Do the calculating terrorists or the governments that clandestinely support them need to hijack planes to attack this country? The answer in a word: No.

From CNN.com

The Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries, which provides about a third of the world's oil, agreed Wednesday in Vienna to reduce its output ceiling by 1 million barrels per day.

A recent surge in prices had prompted some of OPEC's 11 members to suggest postponing the cut.

The Bush administration, in an election year, had been pressing OPEC to raise output to help control U.S. gasoline prices, already at record highs, and prevent energy inflation from slowing economic growth.

With prices of a barrel of crude oil already near $40 a barrel, why slash oil production now? Is this a not so veiled attempt to manipulate public opinion in this country and affect the outcome of the November election? The answer in a word: Maybe.

If John Kerry's supporters could put their hate of Dubya aside for a second and do an honest appraisal of their candidate, they'd have to conclude that he's about as exciting as Bob Dole. He is. He's a spud who drones on and on, without ever uttering an uplifting word. His penchant for waffling, which has not recieved the overdue scrutiny from the press that it deserves, exposes him as more of a political opportunist than a legitimate leader.

My point here is not to bash Kerry, so chill out. My point is that the relentless 3 year campaign to convince average Americans that Dubya is a (insert scurrilous allegation) has elevated a lightweight contender that would get skunked under normal circumstances to that of a contender who actually has a chance to become our next president. And nothing this guy has thrown out there has stuck. The charge that the War on Terror is not going well is laughable. The charge that Iraq was a colossal mistake is premature. History will make that determination. The worst economy since Jesus invented what we today call sandals? That dribble has been thoroughly debunked. Our jobs are being outsourced by "Benedict Arnold CEOs?" Try this quote:

If we are lucky, we can get through the year without doing something really, really stupid.-- Robert McTeer of the Federal Reserve Bank of Dallas summing up the promise of government action on outsourcing.

A war for oil? What happened to that nonsensical rubbish? Haliburton? Even an ignoramus can manage a Google search and learn that Haliburton is the world's best at what they do. Bush was AWOL? Yeah! Rumor has it that he received dozens of Boy Scouts merit badges without ever belonging to that organization. Dubya knew about the 9/11 attacks beforehand and did not act to prevent them? If you believe that, you should be riddled with rubber bullets when you show up at the polls. Forget the "Bush stole the election" battle cry and try taking a subjective look at things for a change. None of Kerry's goop has stuck at all. So, what's his latest, bestest available issue to glom onto? How about the rising gasoline prices? Now we're talking, baby!

From JohnKerry.com

We need a new direction on energy policy,” said Kerry. “For three years, George Bush and Dick Cheney have bent over backwards to help their big contributors in the oil industry. I’m going to stand up for students and middle class families and all those who need relief at the pump.

I’ll use real diplomacy to do what George Bush hasn’t – pressure OPEC to start providing more oil,” said Kerry. “We’ll stop diverting oil to the Strategic Petroleum Reserve until gas prices get back to normal. We’ll simplify the patchwork of rules on gas all over this country so that we can reduce costs and make fuel supplies while keeping our air clean.

And instead of a secret energy meetings and drilling in the Alaskan wilderness, we’re going to have a real energy plan for America. We’ll create 500,000 new jobs in renewable energy and building the vehicles of the future. Under my plan, America will be energy independent from Mideast oil in 10 years, the fuels of the future will be less expensive, cleaner, and our young men and women will never have to fight and die for foreign oil.

We apparently can handle 3,000 of our fellow citizens being shredded, based upon the fact that most Americans seem to have gotten over the trauma that was inflicted upon us on a clear September morning a couple of years ago. Flag-draped caskets delivered to Dover? This is extremely disturbing for an electorate that has very little stomach for fighting to protect our way of life. Bush lied about WMD in Iraq? Nobody without a steel plate in their skull believes that. Bush this. Bush that. Bush (insert scurrilous allegation). We may be less than astute on most issues, but we're not as ignorant as we're given credit for. But...there is one thing that your average citizen simply cannot tolerate. Record prices for a gallon of gas.

Whenever I see video of folks approached at a gas pump by the television cameras and they whine their asses off on cue about the latest increase in gas prices, I watch in stunned amazement. They cough up $3.50 for a gallon of milk, but $1.75 for a gallon of gas suggests that regime change may be necessary. To produce a gallon of milk, we need some slop to feed the cows, and a whole bunch of teat squeezing. Consider how much more goes into producing a gallon of gas. If you don't understand the enormity of that undertaking, do a Google search.

The latest gas price increase posted on some mini-market's marquee goes completely unnoticed by this lunatic. I spent $33 dollars on gasoline in 2003, and zero dollars so far this year. But I do read everything I can conjure up, and I do realize that every increase in the price of gasoline instantly siphons some serious dollars out of our economy, and in effect, our wallets.

It seems as if the entire world is on the brink of chaos these days. Senseless murders, terrorism, genocide, and coup d'etats dominate the headlines quite frequently. And very little of that registers with us at all. Trains blown up in Madrid. Gee, that was awful. Anybody up for some chili dogs? I'll drive. People incinerated and hung from a bridge. That was gross. What's on the dish tonight? People beheading other people because they pray to the wrong god. What's wrong with them? Why don't they buy a Play Station already? The price of gasoline is rapidly approaching that of a 16 oz bag of Chex Party Mix?

Rutro! Suddenly, sirens and whistles are going off. This situation is absolutely intolerable. This is an issue that needs an immediate solution. All of a sudden...John "F-bomber" Kerry, Mr. Humdrum himself , actually has a chance. Gasoline prices. Yeah! That might work. Forget Iraq. Forget terrorism. Forget Haliburton. Forget the Texas Air National Guard phony baloney brouhaha. Forget references to god. Forget the Roe vs. Wade battle for a spell. What did Rushbo say? What's bad for this country is good for the Democrats? Wasn't that it?

Rapidly rising gasoline prices, to record highs, is bad news for all Americans. And it's the latest "finger in the wind" campaign strategy shift for the "Leggo my Eggo" candidate.

... we’re going to have a real energy plan for America.

Wow! A "real" plan? That's very descriptive and worthy of my vote. (?) We're heading into the vacation season soon enough. With all of the monumental challenges we currently face as a country, are we really dumb enough to allow outside manipulation of our economy that is being cleverly latched onto by a clueless bomb thrower to sway our votes? Are we going to elect a president that is on both sides of every issue, depending on what group he happens to be talking to?

Gasoline is too expensive? So is a gallon of water. Think before you vote. John Kerry is telling us that he'll be the very first American president to put OPEC in it's place.

I’ll use real diplomacy to do what George Bush hasn’t – pressure OPEC to start providing more oil.

An obvious question begs to be asked. How might he accomplish that? And what happened to his "war for oil" rhetoric? First we were trading blood for oil, now we're not doing enough to procure cheap oil. If this Machiavellian pretender waffles any more than he already has, we might see him in some International House of Pancakes commercials after he gets dispatched in November.

Hi. I'm JFK and I just love IHOP's legendary strawberry topping as long as the polls support that position.

This single sentence from a letter published by the Voice today caught my eye. Here goes:

We do NOT want to pass along the current American tragedy to our children.

The Green Party has grown by one. Toke up, man!

From the e-mail inbox:

*******The White House began airing their TV commercials to re-elect the president, and the John Kerry campaign is condemning his use of 9/11 in the ads. He said it is unconscionable to use the tragic memory of a war in order to get elected unless, of course, it's the Vietnam War." --Jay Leno

"John Kerry has promised to take this country back from the wealthy. Who better than the guy worth $700 million to take the country back? See, he knows how the wealthy think. He can spy on them at his country club, at his place in Palm Beach, at his house in the Hamptons. He's like a mole for the working man." --Jay Leno

"I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal." -- David Letterman

"John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle." -- Craig Kilborn

"Kerry has already begun his search for a running mate. They say that because John Edwards still has $50 million in campaign money, Kerry might pick him. Pick him? Hey, for $50 million, Kerry will marry him." -- Jay Leno

"Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you, this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton." -- David Letterman

"It really kind of looks like now that John Kerry is on his way to the presidential nomination. The only thing that can sink John Kerry now is an Al Gore endorsement." -- Jay Leno

"According to a new study, Botox injections can help back pain. So you see, that's why John Kerry had all that Botox - his back was killing him from all that flip-flopping on issues." -- Jay Leno

"An Internet rumor claims that John Kerry had an affair with a young woman. When asked if this was similar to the Clinton- Lewinsky scandal, a spokesman said 'Close, but no cigar.'" --Jimmy Fallon, Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"

"Presidential campaign getting kind of ugly, did you hear about this? Yesterday, a 27- year-old woman came forward to deny rumors that she had an affair with Democratic front- runner John Kerry. The woman added, "I would never cheat on Bill Clinton.'" -- Conan O'Brien

"The head of the AFL-CIO endorsed John Kerry, saying, 'The time has come to come behind one man, one leader, one candidate.' Then he said, 'And until we find that man, we will endorse John Kerry.'" -- Conan O'Brien

"The Democrats are all over this. Democratic strategists feel John Kerry's war record means he can beat Bush. They say when it comes down to it voters will always vote for a war hero over someone who tried to get out of the war. I'll be sure to mention that to Bob Dole when I see him." -- Jay Leno

"They had a profile of John Kerry on the news and they said his first wife was worth around $300 million and his second wife, his current wife, is worth around $700 million. So when John Kerry says he's going after the wealthy in this country, he's not just talking. He's doing it!" -- Jay Leno

Another e-mail. This one is a bit disturbing. Where are all of the animal lovers when you need them?

*******I just wanted to comment on something that I was wondering if you could post on your site.

I live in Dorrance and there is a road which crosses over to Wapwallopen called Hollow Rd. This is a very secluded dirt road and very little homes on it, just mostly woodsy.

I went through early Friday morning and saw a big ST. Bernard sitting by the side of the dirt road. He looked ok and picked his head up when I flew past. On my way home hours later, I took the same route and he was still sitting there. Looks to me like someone took him for a "ride" like so many often do.

I waited to see if he was still there late Friday night and took a ride back over just to see and there he was. He doesn't want to be bothered either because if you get too close he growls. So the idea of picking him up and taking him to a shelter yourself is OUT.

I called just about everyone in Luzerne County from the state police to the SPCAs and the animal shelters. In Berwick, Hazleton and Wilkes Barre and no one will go get him and pick him up because he is not injured. So basically he is left there to starve to death.

I thought that these places were there for this reason... at least the shelters and the SPCAs. It almost seems to me no one will rescue him because he is way out in Wapwallopen.

Lucky for him I went over with some food today and someone older lady was there doing the same. She told me she called as well and no one will do anything for it. She said she has been trying to get him to go to her house a little up the road and he will not budge. Just growls because he is scared.

This is a rather large dog and it seems to me no one is willing to come out and do anything about it. I know there are kids on this road and if he should happen to bite them or anyone else there could be problems. Is there anything (aside from shooting him) we could do with any of these agencies to get them to do something??????*******

Try e-mailing The Pet Guy at ThePetGuy.com of WILK fame. I listen to this guy on the weekends and his passion for animals seems to rival my passion for round plastic discs that can split ear drums wide open. Give him a buzz. Seriously, do it.


I've been waiting for years to buy a brand new cadillac
But now that I've got one I want to send it right back
I can't afford the gas to fill my luxury limousine
But even if I had the dough no one's got no gasoline

I went to my local dealer to see if he could set me straight
He said there's a little gas going but I'd have to wait
But he offered some red hot speed and some really high grade hash
But a gallon of gas can't be purchased anywhere for any amount of cash

I can score you some coke and some grade one grass
But I can't get a gallon of gas
I've got some downers some speed all the drugs that you need
But I can't get a gallon of gas
There's no more left to buy or sell
There's no more oil left in the well
A gallon of gas can't be purchased anywhere
For any amount of cash

Who needs a car and a seven-forty-seven
When you can't buy a gallon of gas
Who needs a highway, an airport or a jet
When you can't get a gallon of gas
There's no more left to buy or sell
There's no more oil left in the well
A gallon of gas can't be purchased anywhere
For any amount of cash
You can't buy a gallon of gas

Trade that Hummer in for a bitch-ass mountain bike.

Time for some serious tunage.