4-20-2004 The worst? Of all time?

John Kerry's pattern of caveats, qualifications, disclaimers, policy reversals and vacillation are not the qualities voters are looking for in times of change that demand steady leadership.--Republican National Committee Chair Ed Gillespie, who is planning to deliver a speech later today calling on Kerry to make good on his promise on Meet The Press yesterday to release all his records.

Sooner or later, this guy is gonna crash and burn. Flip flop? Or lie?

Under President Bush we have seen a devastating deterioration not only in our economy but in our public health and safety. It does not have to be this way.--John "Flip-flop" Kerry, at an event to mark Earth Day on Thursday.

Holy fudge! Now Bush is destroying the Earth too.

Unlike George Bush and his friends at the big oil companies, I'm going to work for a real energy policy for this country that decreases America's dependence on foreign oil and helps lower the costs to American families.--John "F.F." Kerry

So much for the "war for oil" conspiracy theory, heyna?

It is my prayer that Americans are not being held hostage by a secret deal between the White House and a Saudi prince.

It's unbelievable that they would cut a deal...that it's OK to have prices up now. You are not going to lower the prices now but wait until Election Day draws closer.

Every American who has to pay a high gas price today and through the summer ought to be outraged that kind of deal exists, and I think it is against the interest of the United States of America.--John "The Waffler" Kerry still rambling on about the accusations made in a recently released work of fiction.

Check this one:

In a state where gas is selling for more than $2 a gallon and in a country where gas prices have risen an average of 29 cents a gallon since late December. Those aren't Exxon prices we see, ladies and gentlemen. Those are Halliburton prices. "F" boy again.

Halliburton prices? Huh? Did he suffer a traumatic head injury during his childhood? Is there a steel plate in there somewhere?

Does the price of gasoline not increase every summer when demand increases? And does it not slip downward when the vacation season abruptly ends each and every year? But the book...the Bob Woodward book. You saw what it said. Another baseless accusation was tossed out there. Will it stick? NOT!

I am proud to be introduced by a man who not only should have been and was elected vice president of the United States, but he should have been inaugurated vice president of the United States.--John "F-Bomb" Kerry, referring to Joseph Lieberman while fund-raising in Florida yesterday.

Oh, give it up with that skimble-skamble already. You know, I have come to the conclusion that this spudly individual doesn't have a coherent message. All he offers us is accusation after accusation, and not one of them has panned out. Halliburton prices. What a complete imbecile posing as a world leader.

Here's that bombshell of a memo we were promised yesterday. Boring! More anonymous dribble.

I ran across this letter to the editors at the Voice this morning and after reading it I wanted to purge myself of anything not yet fully digested.

Editor: To all who say this is a moment to rally around our president, I can only respond: You must be joking. Consider this:

"If our democracy means anything, it means a struggle to purge our politics of men as utterly unqualified for high office as George Bush. But this is not written to personalize the political. What I am asking is not that the corporate/military structure give us a "kinder, gentler" choice next time. I am asking us - you and me - to take on the corporate/military complex and defeat it in political struggle. So long as the ruling class can keep our attention riveted on events of their choice, they will win. The tragedy of the Gulf demands more than vigils and prayer. It is a call to political struggle. Anything less means Iraqi children and American pilots dying as I write this will have died in vain."
Comments of David McReynolds, as quoted in the March 1991 issue of The Progressive.
Who says history does not repeat itself?

Bob Singer

So what's my problem? My problem is that every single person who objects to our military being sent to some far off shore immediately invokes the repeating history quote or some variation thereof.

They call Nancy & Kev: "Those who do not study history are doomed to repeat it."

They call Sue Henry: "Those who are doomed do not study history."

They write to newspapers: "Who says history does not repeat itself?"

God dammit! You folks sure sound smart. If only the rest of us could regurgitate pearls of wisdom on demand. And as if on cue, every single time American soldiers land on foreign soil, that is deemed to be proof positive that another Vietnam has officially begun. The funny thing is, the Vietnam experience has not been repeated to this date. Blah! Blah! Blah! Ain't we clever. Those who call talk shows and yammer on about history repeating itself never cite any recent examples of just such a thing occuring. But, they sure sound good.

The crux of the biscuit is the apostrophe.

Sue Henry had some fun with a Blender Magazine story about the worst songs of all time. Don't bother to visit the web site. If ya wanna read it, you'll have to travel to a city that actually has a copy of this rag. The worst songs of all time? That's a tough one for sure. While I find Disco Duck completely repulsive, you yourself may be an ex-disco boy. If so, never ever admit to it.

Most of what you'd call 60's "hippie" songs tend to drive me up the flippin' wall. I think the absolute nadir of the hippie gibberish has to be "Eve of Destruction." I think that song highlights the fallacy that the hippie ideology was. If we don't drop acid, have sex with everyone we meet, hate our government and eat nothing but flowers from here on out, the world will cease to be by next Wednesday. How the heck did the so-called "greastest generation" spawn the drunk, stoned and stupid generation? Then again, what do I know? I'm so freaking old, I think Sgt. Peppers was the undeniable apex of rock.

The worst songs? Let's cover the obvious. Any disco song is a strong candidate for that dubious honor. A previously classified CIA memo declassified under the Freedom of Information Act in 1989 proves without a doubt that disco was a Soviet hatched plot to further undermine our country. The hippie indoctrination failed to bring our country to it's knees, and so did disco. But in the eyes of the world, disco made us look like a nation of pansy boys obsessed with our hair and it reduced us to stuffing socks down the front of our polyester pants that were two sizes too tight. About the time the Village People exploded into each other's mouths...scratch that, I'm sorry. About the time the Village People exploded onto the scene, I thought the time had arrived for us as a nation to embrace the purple Kool-Aid and put ourselves out of our misery. At the very least, we should have targeted Moscow and Studio 54 with a few neutron bombs. You remember, dontcha? Disco Sucks!

By the way, I, of course, was captivated by The Clash, Blondie, Richard Hell, Television, The Sex Pistols and too many other energetic and creative bands during this period to ever consider something as putrid as disco. I never once worried about what my hair looked like even though there were a few bird's nests matted in it somewhere. And I wouldn't be caught dead sporting a gold chain over my 19 chest hairs as so many were fond of doing.

Crappy songs? Why not "Beth" by KISS? Talk about lame. Yikes! Paul, Gene, you're scaring us! How about "Spiders & Snakes" by Jim Stafford. Cornball! "I got you Babe" by Sonny & Cher? Could a husband/wife singing team do any worse? Sonny sounds like Squiggy from Laverne & Shirley after being pumped full of depressants. Cher sounds like a subdued Tom Jones. Just about any country song from that period was pretty rank, heyna? The lone exception being "The Rodeo Song." "Piss me off. F**kin' jerk! You get on my nerves!"

There is one song that makes me crazy every time I hear it's opening notes and lunge for the tuning knob. If I ever commit a road rage atrocity of some sort, you can bet your lucky stars that Rock 107 is directly responsible for setting that unfortunate chain of events in motion. This song irks me beyond belief and it always has. During the early '70s when this ditty was on the charts, my cousin spun the 45 over and over and over until I finally snapped it in half. That backfired on me though. He then began to spin "Brandy" by Looking Glass, or something equally insipid over and over and over. It might have been the "Night Chicago Died," or "Billy, don't be a hero." It's amazing I didn't take my own life during this awful period when folks refused to abandon AM radio in favor of some album oriented rock. All I wanted was a bit of diz-bustin' guitar work and those closest to me were wandering around singing "Knock three times...on the ceiling if you want me." And despite what I was going through, I never once dismembered a single small animal, or made love to my sister's change purse.

But that song, it just won't go away. Every once in a while, Sue Henry will have some caller that should have been aborted yammering away and I'll switch over to Rock 107 for a few seconds only to find that they are playing THAT song for the 17 millionth consecutive day. I immediately resist the temptation to take my scuba knife to the radio and switch back to Sue's brain-dead caller. When Condi Rice sat in for a vacationing Sue, I made the mistake again. I hit the dial and there was that pedestrian base beat that even a deaf, dumb, blind and armless midget could do better than. AH! Back to WILK.

The base drones on and on and on with nary a single fret being changed. By comparison, the guitar "work" makes AC/DC's four chords sound somewhat complicated. The singer sounds as if someone drove a #2 lead pencil under the nail of his big toe while the tape was rolling. And still, Rock 107 plays it everyday without fail. The lyrics make about as much sense as Ina-Gada-Da-Vida and I find McCartney's "Silly Love Songs" preferably to this moronic, plodding song that there seems to be no escape from. Try as I may, I can't make it go away. Jesus! Even Eric Clapton's usually banal mutterings about his chick are exciting when stacked head-to-head with this dated monsterosity. If one of those dudes that always sounds stoned calls 107 and requests it, I'll probably remove my stupid shoulder harness and turn directly into the path of an oncoming Freightliner.

The absolute worst freaking song of all time?

When she is lonely and the longing gets too much
She sends a cable coming in from above
Don't need no phone at all
We've got a thing that's called Radar Love
We've got a wave in the air, Radar Love

Maybe those two Russian lesbo chicks will cover it and update it just a tad. I can't wait. Nextell love.

A close second? How about, "Happy are the people in a Shorten Home."

I need some Jimmy Page right about now.

Those who do not study the history of music are doomed to repeat the same old chords.