5-10-2004 Exit strategy

Mr. Secretary, thank you for your hospitality, and thank you for your leadership. You are courageously leading our nation in the war against terror. You're doing a superb job. You are a strong Secretary of Defense, and our nation owes you a debt of gratitude.--Dubya, speaking to Donald Rumsfeld at his press conference earlier today.

Alrighty then. That ought to put to bed the "Impeach Rummy" dummies. Which is not to say that Rumsfeld hasn't made mistakes along the way. If I remember correctly, he originally envisioned an Iraqi invasion force of some 70,000-plus. Although, in his defense, 70,000 is about all that we can muster without activating every reservist this side of Noxen. Enough with the what did you know, when did you know it, and will you apologize before you resign?

I'll tell ya' something' Ethel, you definately deserve an 'A' for effort. Most of the folks that hate my guts send me e-mails wishing me ill or worse. Or they send along insults directed at my amazing grandson. I've been accused of being fat, bald, uninformed and unemployed, which shows just how little some of these yahoos pay attention. And yeah, you started out by launching a few insults at me, but as of late, you've been relatively civil with your postings.

And I've probably stomped on your falsies a bit too much. Are you an ex-hippie that used to regularly drop acid, stare at the flourescant scribblings on your walls and groove to Jefferson Airplane until you passed out? Probably not, but your politics suggest otherwise. Maybe you were in the Peace Corps and saved countless lives by digging a ditch somewhere in the most remote region of Zammuckia. It's even possible that you were hoodwinked by most of the commie-leaning indoctrination posing as higher education that you paid for. Or maybe you're an ex-seamtress that never got over JFK's untimely passing. You know, a conspiracy kook. Maybe you're not even named Ethel.

It doesn't matter though. At least you take the time to cut, copy, and paste some rather compelling stuff (?), even though some of it comes from folks who wish to remain nameless. And folks who wish to remain nameless have no credibility, because they are more often than not agenda-driven cowards. Your recent post is the equivalent of myself calling SAYSO and claiming to be a Pentagon general critical of the president and every single thing he's done since Al Gore last tried to count chads 267 different ways. Babs, ya'll gonna have to do better than this:

........A senior general at the Pentagon (news - web sites) said he believes the United States is already on the road to defeat. "It is doubtful we can go on much longer like this," he said. "The American people may not stand for it -- and they should not."

Asked who was to blame, this general pointed directly at Rumsfeld and Deputy Defense Secretary Paul D. Wolfowitz. "I do not believe we had a clearly defined war strategy, end state and exit strategy before we commenced our invasion," he said. "Had someone like Colin Powell (news - web sites) been the chairman [of the Joint Chiefs of Staff], he would not have agreed to send troops without a clear exit strategy. The current OSD [Office of the Secretary of Defense] refused to listen or adhere to military advice."

You already made the mistake of assuming that we do not read some of the same sites, which belies the foolish stereotype you apply to most of the folks that think differently than yourself. Us red-neck, religious zealot Republicans are not limited to NewsMax.com, Rush Limbaugh and Jerry Falwell. It sounds like you're starting to believe all of that hateful rhetoric that flows so freely from your side of the aisle. You may wish to take issue with this claim, but I'll betcha I read ten times what you read every day and from a much broader range of sources than you do. Have you peeked at Hitlery Clintonista's site lately? That's what I thought.

You know, if us "conservatives" would just gladly surrender our paychecks, our constitutional rights, and our belief that this is the greatest country on the planet, maybe we wouldn't be so damned stupid and hateful, heyna? If we'd all just give in and become pro-abortion, anti-American homosexuals, we'd all disappear within a generation or two. We'll execute our unborn before Newt Gingrich can rape their minds, inflict an early death upon ourselves while toiling away at the anus and if that doesn't work-our appeasement of our enemies will surely get us all killed. Hell! At that point, we'd be considered converts to your party and working overtime to make sure that the slackers your party readily attracts get a free ride would suddenly seem attractive to us.

And your mystery general you quote sounds like less than an agressive go-getter. Not one of the hard chargers the Marines so often produce.

War? Us? With real bullets??? Okay. If you say so. What's our exit strategy? Huh? Huh? What's our exit strategy?

And if we remember correctly, Colin Powell was dead set against the '91 Gulf War? Why? Easy. We'd suffer too many casualties. Norman Schwartzkopt made him look stupid within 100 hours.

Now I know that ya'll read what little ya' read and fall for it hook, line and sinker. And ya'll want Dubya ground into hamburg patties because of something Al Sharpton, or Ted "Hiccup" Kennedy spewed, but after reading our anonymous general's bullspit, I have a question. What is the exit strategy for the single most pussy-whipped military operation ever undertaken? What is the stated exit strategy for the Kosovo circle-jerk? You know, that opertion meant to save the lives of tens of thousands of mostly ungrateful Muslims.

Whoops! Silly me. A Democrat presided over that feeble operation. You don't care.

How about the exit strategy for Somalia? Wasn't it something akin to "Run away! Run for your lives!"

Whoops! Silly me. A Democrat presided over that feeble operation. You didn't care.

How about the deadly assault on the U.S.S. Cole? What was the official response to that clear act of war directed solely at us? Tow it back. And if you guys keep it up, we're gonna get really, really mad and assign another lawyer to the war on terror.

Whoops! Silly me. A Democrat presided over that feeble response. Again, you didn't care.

I'd cut off my right arm to be present when some weenie of a reporter might ask General Patton what his exit strategy was?

Let's speculate. His eyebrows would rip out of his forehead, his nostrils would flare open, he'd slap the loafer wearer with his gloves and he'd bark something like: "Victory! That's my God-damned exit strategy. Victory, you sissy mama!"

Victory. Sounds like a plan to me. The only problem is, it's an election year and the president's opponents are thinking party first and country second.

And I fully understand that the limp-wristed among us loathe Rush, but what has he been saying of late? "What's bad for the country is good for the Democrats."

Ethel, if all of the Iraqi's suddenly turned in their AK-47s tomorrow and begged for nothing but peace and stability, you and the clueless folks you blindly follow would be immensely pissed-off. Admit it. The very last thing you want is for Iraq to go well. The rage instilled in you by Peter Jennings and the rest of the frustrated commies has impaired your judgment. All that matters now is removing the man that has balls as big as Pattons. And while we still need men around for a little while yet, the last thing we want is men not afraid to stick to their convictions in defense of this country soon to be absorbed by your envious and incompetent friends at the United Nations.

I know. I know. You claim to support the troops, but not the war. Or, you support your party, but not your country until your party assumes control of said country. You are, in my opinion, an anachronous caricature of a patriotic American. You don't want our troops killed, yet you and your ilk continue to encourage the folks killing them.

Keep it up. If you're real lucky, lots more flag-draped coffins will come home to Dover, and come January, wishy-washy John Kerry can sic some really, really, mean lawyers on the terrorists who are laughing at us right now. They are laughing at us and further emboldened because of fools just like you.

Remember your childhood lessons. If Kerry (God for-f**king-bid!) wins in November, duck and cover drills will take on a renewed emphasis as part of our daily lives. Be careful what you wish for. Ebola and radiation poisoning both suck.

Exit strategy? Who the f**k are you kidding?

I see that...

...the grass on the sides of Wilkes-Barre Boulevard is already growing beyond our control. Somebody took a mower to the huge grassy strip between Bowman and the Boulevard, but the aftermath looks like dung.

The intersection of South Main and Parrish looks as if the Army could do a bit of jungle training down there. Take the point, Cherry!

This is what I was thinking. I'm no horticulturist by any stretch of the imagination, but couldn't we plant some of those vine type plants and allow them to spread over those areas like a wildfire and then never have to mow the grass again?

I've been talking to some homeowners about the vegetation surrounding their homes and I think this sounds like a plan. At least, to me it does.

I like these. Perriwinkles. A lot of low-lying green with violet-colored flowers popping out here and there.


But this is my fave. 'Mountain Pinks' which come in white, pink, and purple. I'm told this plant spreads out over the landscape rather quickly. No more mowing. No more man hours. What's not to like? Plus, wouldn't it be beautiful to have our major streets surrounded by oodles of flowers that require zero maintenance?

Mountain Pink

I was told that First Lady, Patty Leighton, is putting together some sort of 'Flower Power' storm trooper squad, which is planning to inflict pretty flowers upon all of us soon, but these creepers, these low maintenance flower producers have my vote.

You tell me...

...which of these sites most clearly represents completely unabated lunacy. Ready?

Shotko '04


Guns & Dope Party

Check the links page on Shotko's site. Forget the Green Party, this guy should form the Twilight Zone Party.

Yeah, Kurt. We know. We know. We know. Please...STOP! Critical thinking and the military/industrial complex. Yeah! We got it. Save the world, Kurt. Toke up.

What is...

...the going rate for a gallon of unleaded these days? $1.93? Or is it already higher than that? And the few folks that travel by bicycle are...what? Crazy to be humping it all of the time?

Since March of '03, I have spent $31 on gasoline and there is not an once of fat on my frame. When are some of you folks going to catch on and finally embrace the ultimate weight-control plan? Trust me on this much, busting your ass 24/7 sure beats starving yourself 24/7.

Just a friendly reminder.

Gotta roll.

Perriwinkles? Or Mountain Pinks?

I'm suddenly in touch with my female side.

Or something.