The high road to Techneglas

The high road may be harder, but it leads to a better place.--John Kerry, from his acceptance filibuster at the Democratic National Convention

From yesterday's Citizens' Voice:

"According to George Bush and John Snow, we're turning a corner," said Mark Nevins, Pennsylvania communications director for the Kerry-Edwards campaign. "So, as long as Secretary Snow is in Pennsylvania, he ought to take a short flight to Pittston and tell the Techneglas workers what corner it is they've turned.

"He ought to look them in the eye and explain to them precisely what the Bush administration is doing to help them.

That is so much hogwash, it's barely worth repeating or responding to. Correct me if I'm wrong. Techneglas has been reducing it's work force for seven years now. The displaced workers from that plant that spoke to the press admitted that the plant's closing was inevitable. Everybody and their pregnant wife/sister knew the writing was on the wall. For whatever reason, that company never adapted to a rapidly changing market and foreign competition was killing it. So...it's Bush' fault. Right?

And WILK's Nancy & Kev, co-hosts of the morning Bush bash on WILK are telling their listeners that Bush needs to take the high road during this election campaign??? While Kerry's cronies are offering up puke such as that in very large chunks?

I'd like to hear Mr. Nevins answer this question. What is Kerry's plan to strengthen our economy. We already know he'd "do it smarter," "do it better, " and "do it faster." He also vowed to tax the rich, a class warfare favorite that will surely appeal to the dimmest of the dim-witted among us. But how about some detail. How about some facts. You got it, where's the beef?

The beef? Why, you can find it right quick at Amazon.com. More precisely, you can purchase a copy of Kerry-Edwards: Their Plans and Promises for only $12.95, plus shipping and handling. Yepper. If you want to learn anything more about the very first three-faced candidate for president and his less than wishy-washy platform...buy the f**king book!

This guy takes vagueness to it's dizzying apex. And yet...some people still dig his pathetic act.

The high road? For Kerry, it's paved with mostly empty rhetoric, empty promises and evasive answers. But he will travel said road faster. And smarter. And better.

"I've seen some cowardly things in my career, but this is the worst. Nobody likes a coward, least of all the voters of Louisiana.--Democratic Sen. Mary Landrieu

Boo hoo hoo! A coward, eh?

Rep. Rodney Alexander, a conservative-leaning Dem from Louisiana, has bolted from the Democratic party and will seek reelection in a largely GOP-dominated state as a Republican.

Yeah, but Jim Jeffords was hailed as a conquering hero, a man of the utmost conviction when he ran as a Republican for the Senate and then bolted for the other side after being elected. And with that move, he changed the balance of power in the Senate and elevated Tom Daschle to the top spot. Who in their right mind would seek to put Tom Daschle in charge of anything more important than the proper storage of leaf-blowers during the winter?

Today, August the 8th, is...

...wifey's **th birthday.

I could tell you how old, er, young she is, but then she'd have to kill me. Well, she could try.

We've been married so long that I sometimes think my extremely sketchy memories of being single are no more than flashbacks from a previous life lived in Lower Transylvania.

Sh*t, man. When we got married, the American Motors Corporation was still inflicting their rust bucket, egg-shaped cars on an unknowing American public. In those days, the acronym VCR was probably attached to some loose-knit, pot-smoking band of brothers trying to bring some soviet-inspired gibberish down upon all of us. You know, Kerry's former buddies.

MTV was still two years away, an Atari sounded like some glorified cardboard asteroid the Robinson family had barely escaped from, and a sissified peanut farmer was busily writing the book: How to destroy America without really trying. Sorry, kiddies, but that puppy has been out-of-print since 1980.

We had one, count 'em, one rotary telephone. We thought having access to 36 television channels was about as good as it could ever get. We owned more than enough vinyl albums to make even Joe Nardone envious. It never once occured to us that by owning only a single 19' television, we were somehow being outdone by the dreaded Jones'. And ten speeds were more than enough to get me and my bike from point A to point B.

Here we are a quarter century later and we've got enough high-tech gadgets that were inconcieveable back then to have your garden variety religious extremists hoping to take a Ginsu knife to our decadent and immoral necks. What those kooks could never understand is that while we enjoy all of our toys and generally seek to procure a few more before we're done, when it comes right down to it; their importance to most of us pales in comparison to our love of our families, our communities and our country.

I seem to have meandered quite a bit, but this ain't the frickin' Washington Post. Okay?

Anywho, today is wifey's **th birthday. The 30th she's celebrated since I first met her at a once shiny and bustling Coal Street Park. I think I'll keep her for a while yet. Besides, what other chickie out there in Wilkes-Barreland could possibly put up with the likes of a crazed individual such as myself? Just between you and me, I'd be lost without her.

In their continuing quest...

...for unadulterated power, the Dems keep telling us how we're currently suffering through the worst economy since the disasterous Abacus Collapse of 7,000 B.C. when caves were being reposessed at record levels, future fossil fuels were consuming our costly gruel imports at alarming rates, and then President Fred Flintstone III resigned under fire. If you're completely unfamiliar with this cataclysmic period in our country's history, do a Google search for "Abacus-Gate," or call Uncle Paul (I love Scranton, PA!) Kanjorski's office. He has become quite the economic historian these election days. Excepting, of course, as it directly pertains to his closest relatives.

Speaking of Uncle Paulie, I giggled through the entire letter, dated August 3, 2004, that he recently sent to my wife.

I don't feel like typing the entire letter, but his message is that Iraq was a mistake and the War on Terror has become woefully inaqeduate because of the decision to free Iraq.

Has anyone noticed all of the terrorist loonies that have been arrested as of late? Pakistan. Dubai. Jordan. Italy. England. Iraq. Saudi Arabia. Texas. New York. Am I forgetting a few?

Why, say it ain't so! Wholesale arrests of terrorists? Terrorist plots foiled? Goddamn it!!! Can't the Democratic party catch a freaking break right now? The election looms on the horizon and the terrorists are taking a beating? Sh*t! Goes Terry McCauliffe.

Don't despair, Democrats. With any luck, thousands upon thousands of Americans will die in some diabolical attack and then you'll be able to quickly reverse course from "The Prez is out of control" argument to "The Prez has not done enough" argument. Whatever works. Heyna?

If the terrorists manage to attack the Republican National Convention slated for New York later this month, would the Dems demand immediate retribution, or would they seek an immediate cease fire provided that Osama bin Laden provides a mighty stipend to their party coffers? I wonder.

Whatever. Our economy sucks. They remind us each and every day. ABC: The economy sucks. NBC: The economy sucks. CBS: The economy sucks. CNN: The economy and Fox News sucks. MSNBC: Fox News sucks.

Meanwhile, back at the 6,000 square-foot ranches, folks are washing their ridiculously expensive Hummers in their driveways. Kids today become next to suicidal if they don't receive an oversized SUV for their sixteenth birthdays. There's two, maybe three satellite dishes on every porch roof. IPODs dominate the downtown sidewalks at lunch time. Kids are flying up and down the streets on those fem-bot gas, or electric-powered mini-scooters. This economy sucks?

It'd probably be easier to contract Ebola than to score two tickets to see the Baby Pens. On any average day, the local predatory Sprawl-Mart makes a Zayre's sale on Cabbage Patch dolls look like fun in comparison. Sam's Club is a horder's zoo. If you want a supper-time table at the local Olive Garden, somebody has to up and die and will it to you. It's getting next to impossible to find a home that doesn't have literally tons of colored mulch lining it's 300-foot linear perimeter, a freshly stained 2,500 square-foot deck out back, and a garishly overindulgent hot tub stragetically placed somewhere thereabouts. Again, this economy sucks?

It depends on who and what you wish to believe. You can believe what your eyes are telling you every day, or you can believe the highly dubious claims of the mostly desperate and hysterical Democrats.

As for me, I can't freakin' wait 'til payday. I've got some serious plans for my disposable income.