“The meek shall inherit nothing.”--Francis Vincent Zappa

A $1 million bounty for killing a cartoonist?

Check this utter insanity from Newsmax.com:

A Pakistani cleric announced Friday a $1 million bounty for killing a cartoonist who drew Prophet Muhammad, as thousands joined street protests and Denmark temporarily closed its embassy and advised its citizens to leave the country. Police confined the former leader of an Islamic militant group to his home to prevent him from addressing supporters over the cartoons, amid fears he could incite violence, after riots this week killed five people.

I‘ve just about had enough of religion. And I’ve had about enough with people being killed in the name of religion. Foolish rules of ancient date… I hear that.

I’ve certainly had my fill of Islam of late, but with clerics demanding death and destruction every other day, I kind of figure I’ll be eating more of the sh*t club sandwich that is quickly becoming Islam. Which is not to suggest that Islam should be singled out as the only popular crutch going for the folks who can’t get through a single day without chanting something from an ancient work of fiction.

The other night I watched “Skinheads USA,” a documentary on the A&E network. It was frightening. It was even more frightening when you consider that many of the white folks probably sat there watching that very same program thinking “God damn right! Fu>kin’ ni**ers!”

The documentary showcased a skinhead group in Alabama led by your typical KKK lunatic and his deranged followers were mostly displaced teenagers. They sat around all day and night watching videos of Adolf Hitler, drinking beer and listening to totally racist heavy metal tunes. And they sure loved being videotaped while they espoused their hate and little else. They were white trash through and through and unequivocally blamed all of their shortcomings on black folks and Jews. And, yes, they advocated the hanging of black people--at a public rally no less. A rally, by the way, where their safety was provided by mostly black police officers.

Hang black people? Little Rock 1957? No, Alabama 2005.

The thing I found to be most repugnant was their presenting themselves as God-fearing good old boys with the God-given right to defend the Godly whites from the invading non-white heathens. Yeah, I’ve heard this ditty somewhere before. The good book says it gotta be this way after we twisted it’s words in every which way. The Bible makes one guy into a pacifist and a humanitarian. And the Bible perverts the next guy into a purveyor of hate, or in the case of the Jihadists--something even more sinister. The way I see it, there seems to be no shortage of God-fearing murderers running loose these days.

Me? I got no need for ancient works of fiction that lead people to being consumed by their hate, their rage, their guilt, or whatever twisted version of whichever twisted book sets ‘em off in the first place. I think they all need some serious doses of psychotropic drugs. Or a blow-up doll named Lucy Sue. Or something.

Consider the political footballs we’ve been kicking back and forth since I was kid. We waste so much time, energy and resources fighting about abortion, anal sex, stem cells and the made-up notion that our founding documents provide for a “separation of church and state” that we’ve paying scant attention to the really important issues. If the right-wingers prevail on every one of those nonsensical issues, the country will still be in some serious need of help. If the left-leaning folk eventually win the day, social security will still be a train wreck, as will be every other program the Fedrule Govmint has completely botched.

Take abortion. Some folks care not for the unborn, while others fight to protect the unborn based on purely religious principles. Yup, that ancient work of fiction is gumming up the works again. Personally, I think abortion is a sin. (pun intended) But, if you’re all good with killing your own child, knock yourself out. It’s not my problem and I won’t have to carry the guilt associated with such a thing. You want to abort your pregnancy? Nope. The Bible thumpers will take offense and they might even blow up the abortion clinic. Don a vest.

Stem cells? Who gives a flyin’ fu>k? What are you people going on and on about? We’re talking about some microscopic splat in a petri dish. If a helping of splat can get Gramps to remembering his own name again, where’s the problem? Ooh, but the ancient work of fiction says that goes against the wishes of God so the unbelievers have to get with ancient program. Screw that. Do what you gotta do and leave the rest of us alone. Loons.

Homosexuality is a political football only because of the devout followers of the ancient good book. I read somewhere that the average life expectancy of a homosexual male is a threadbare 42.4 years. The way I see it, if that sounds like a good program to you, go for it. Count me out, keep your hands and your lifestyle to yourself, but have a ball. (Is that a pun?) But be real careful not to get your head beaten in by those folks thumpin’ in unison on the good book. They can get pretty ugly when confronted with that which they deem to be ugly.

And the uber secularists need to get their fat heads out of their fat asses already. They don’t want to be told how to conduct their lives by the religious folk, so they behave in exactly the same fashion. The Godly folk want to ban this, that and the other thing ‘cause it doesn’t jive with what’s in the good book. So the secularists respond by trying to ban religion every chance they get. Intolerance begets intolerance. Can you even imagine going to court over when and where a manger scene can and can’t be displayed? Is this some sort of new breed of hapless idiot we‘ve got on our hands here? Some sort of genetic hyper-mutation brought on by an all-consuming antagonism towards God and those who have taken it upon themselves to enforce his ancient rules? I need a beer.

I can understand someone not needing religion. But I can’t understand someone needing to legislate it away. All I know is, if a sign displaying the words “Merry Christmas” has gotten you all riled up, you probably should have been aborted long ago. And if the lack of said greeting forces you to abruptly alter your shopping habits, you’re a few splats short of a full stem cell. I think we need more hobby shops, or something. Or even more abortion clinics. Got me.

Maybe the religious folks need to lighten up just a tad. If we’re all gonna be judged after that bus runs us over, what’s the big deal? If I sit and spin on another guy, the way I hear it, God is going to level the boom on me anyway. So why should some folks armed with an ancient book make this life miserable for me when I’m already screwed in the afterlife? Seems like overkill to me.

Would God really dispatch me to Hotel Satan only because I wanted to help my Gramps to remember his own name? Cast into the burning pits over the contents of a petri dish? Ya think? For real? Fu>kin’ A!

And if the abortionists are sure to be expedited to the top of Satan’s list of hellish chores, why in hell should the folks being fitted for wings give a damn? If we all behave ourselves as the pure-as-the-wind-driven-snow religious folks demand that we do, isn’t Heaven going to get over-crowded lickety-split? And if so, won’t that lead to unconscious tension and then rancor and finally open hostilities? You wanna ruin Heaven for everybody? To Hell with those God-less folks!

I’m curious. If the local priest sodomizes you and you actually enjoy it, would you then have to mention that during your weekly confession? Forgive me Father, but you do it real good like? Hmmm. Somebody open the good book and get us a ruling on that.

Look, I don’t care what anyone feels the need to do so long as they aren’t touching none of my stuff. It just seems to me that religion has been doing more harm than good of late. It’s hopelessly polarized our electorate, it’s hopelessly side-tracked our politicians and it’s got scores of disaffected folks hoping to be blown to teeny tiny little bits--all in the name of their ancient religion. Chumps.

If intolerance is sure to face a backlash of even greater intolerance, then what’s the point already? ‘Scuse me for being such a complete heathen, but religion begets intolerance and intolerance begets violence. And the last time I checked, nobody really liked violence, unless it was of the television variety and keeping their kids very quiet. Or, so they say.

Maybe we should all get back to praying to the video advertising box like we’re supposed to be doing and let the all-knowing folks--the politicians--fix it all. They’re doing a real bang-bang job so far, aren’t they?

I dunno.

I’m gonna go and drink me some agricultural amusements aids. Motley Crue should do the trick tonight.

(Blogger‘s note: Best freakin’ movie I’ve seen in the past twenty years. Do it.)

From WPXI.com (Pittsburgh):

So, what are the most dangerous jobs in Pennsylvania? Target 11 investigator Rick Earle obtained the latest workplace fatality statistics and what he discovered may surprise you. Fighting fires, patrolling the streets, keeping peace, and mining more than a mile underground are all dangerous occupations. But according to the data from the Bureau of Labor obtained by Target 11, the most dangerous job in Pennsylvania involves something that most of us do every day. According to 2004 statistics, the most dangerous jobs in Pennsylvania with five fatalities each are: Firefighters Sales Representatives Logging workers Mechanics With six fatalities: Electricians With seven fatalities: Maintenance workers With nine fatalities: Construction workers

Jeez oh Pete!!! Make up your freaking minds already. Are we sweeping or aren’t we sweeeping?

Time for the Crue.

Girls! Girls! Girls!

Later