2-20-2006 The Code 18 Convention

"News is what somebody somewhere wants to suppress; all the rest is advertising."--Canadian press baron Lord Northcliffe

I took a day off from all of this internet tomfoolery and watched me some NASCAR. That sucked. Jimmie Johnson’s team got caught cheating (AGAIN!) earlier this week, but won the race. (?) And Tony Stewart complained that bump-drafting was going to get somebody killed, but bumped damn near everyone out of his way and caused a few wrecks before finishing a very respectable 5th. (?) It seems to me as if NASCAR is starting to resemble national politics wherein the rules only apply to certain teams. Whatever.

Hey there, parents. Want to see your kid get his ass kicked at school tomorrow? Here’s your ticket.

Was the Cheney shooting covered up? Some members of the media could not accept the fact that the shooting may have been an accident and suggested that something much more diabolical may have gone on down there Texas way. Turns out, the secret service caught the shooting on videotape and that video has shown up at PerpetuallyAngryGreens.com. Dick Cheney shot that old dude on purpose?

RUTRO! The Dopers are coming! The Dopers are coming!

From The Citizens’ Voice:

Local Green Party preps for convention

A blurb from that story:

In addition to opposing the war, Greens are also fighting for universal health care with the U.S. government as the primary insurer, and the decriminalization of cannabis, Romanelli said.

Yeah, but not necessarily in that order. Given a choice of only one item on their stated agenda coming to fruition, I’m thinking the cannabis rockets to the top of the list. Look at it this way: If pot was legalized, debilitating diseases and protracted wars would be much more tolerable, hayna?

Green #1: Dude, man. My boss’ kid got wasted in Iraq, man. What a fu>kin’ bummer, man. George Bush sucks, man.

Green #2: Whoa. Like that’s horrible, dude. We need, like, social justice and soon, or I‘m gonna, like, freak out, man. I think we need another…(deep inhale)…protest, or something. Pass me that roach clip, will you?

Whatever. I sure hope they got some state-of-the-art exhaust fans installed in the rest rooms at Genetti’s. The Code 18 Convention is soon to hit town.

Since some diversity honcho employed by an institution of higher learning based in Wilkes-Barre took it upon herself to interfere with the Wilkes-Barre Police during a routine traffic stop and seemed all too eager to be cuffed and taken in as a result of her misguided actions, maybe the following video should be included in somebody’s curriculum: Chris Rock: How Not to Get Your Ass Kicked by the Police

Interfering with official police business suddenly got you down? Maybe you should call this guy.

Despite what you might hear on WILK, some bloggers do offer more than just daily rants. In an attempt to continue this silly notion that our presidential elections are stolen at a rate faster than your average Congressman can impregnate some blonde bimbo, the Fedrule Govmint mandated that we all vote at the local Sheetz. Uniformity, you know.

Well, thanks to the procrastination of many county commissioners, a frivolous lawsuit, and a conflict between what Fedrule law states versus what state law sez, we might be voting on an Etch ‘a’ Sketch come May. It don’t much matter to me being that I reside in a one-party county. We already know from which party the eventual winners will come, so what’s the big freakin’ deal, unless you’re concerned about the local Democrats stealing the election from fellow local Democrats? Tweedle-Dem stole it from Tweedle-Dem II? What’s the difference?

Anywho, rather than debate which method of voting we need to acquire to the point of absurdity, I say we settle all of that muckity muck before Fedrule Marshals get to hunting down both Skrep and VonderTodd for daring to defy the incumbents-for-life, er, I mean to say, the Fedrule Govmint.

3” X 5” index cards are inexpensive, so why not head on down to the nearby Rite Aid and buy every friggin’ pack in stock? We can get 100 cards for 69 cents. And I figure #2 lead pencils are still relatively inexpensive, so there ya go! Put the pencil to the paper. I, Mark Cour, vote for the following…

I may be too old and stupid to operate the local hoagie computer, but I’m real good with a pencil and if that’s not enough…I can spell, too. So, as long as our county commissioners resist the temptation to purchase the file cards from a well-connected purveyor at $350 a pack, we can vote cheaply and quickly, and we won’t need a help screen either. God, I’m good. Admit it.

Vote in the online survey:

Does Luzerne County need new voting machines?

Here‘s some stuff to consider. Some sane and some not so sane. Hey, if it wasn’t for insanity, we’d all be bored stiff. You can look on in utter disdain as some piss-soaked guy passes you by on the sidewalk mumbling to himself about how the Martians stole his virginity. But, without encountering the insane piss-soaked guy, a trip to Boscov’s would be much less entertaining. Look on the bright side, kiddies.

Moonbat #1:

Somebody is actually counting Howard Stern’s curses on Satellite radio

Moonbat #2:

Necessary reading for children: Why Mommy is a Democrat.

Another Moonbat:

What happened to See Spot run? Help! Mom! There are Liberals under my bed

Finally, some sanity.

From The Beacon at Wilkes University:

People are talking…

Nightclub slated to dance into Wilkes-Barre this spring

The Fall of America? This is impressive. It’s straight out of Michael Moore’s film school, which is to say it’s an orgy of misrepresentations, things taken out of context and deliberate falsifications. But it’s damn impressive to see that anyone would put so much work into such complete lunacy.

The Fall of America?

Be warned, this is over 14 minutes in duration.

The Times Leader published a variation of a story that appeared in The Centre Daily Times, which publishes out of State College, PA. This is the watered-down online version of what appeared in the Leader: Student dies two days after stabbing

This snippet appeared in the print version, but not the online version:

Donahue’s roommate, Brandon Lawson, told police Donahue tried to break up a fight near the bar and someone lunged at him. After a brief struggle, Donahue had blood on his shirt, Lawson told police.

While I have no idea what exactly transpired during this unfortunate incident, it did immediately remind me of some of the most dangerous altercations I had either observed, or had gotten myself in the middle of back when I was babysitting drunks for a living.

Experienced cops will testify to the fact that “domestics” are usually fraught with danger. That’s why a domestic call always requires that a backup unit be dispatched when boy gets to playing punching bag with girl. Not that bar fights are the exact same scenario. They are not, but they can be similar in many respects.

When you attempt to intervene on one person’s behalf, usually a girl taking a pummeling from her better half, you have no idea how she’s going to react if you get to pummeling on her honey. And it’s not easy to keep one eye on the guy you’re going toe-to-toe with and the other eye on his already hysterical girlfriend. All too often, if you get the better of her abusive boyfriend, she’s likely to get to abusing you real quick like. Been there, done that. One second you’re her knight in shining armor, and the very next you’re doing your level best to not have to knock-out a chick before the cops arrive on scene.

As a matter of fact, I’ve been involved in numerous donnybrooks in the parking lot where we had the drunk and abusive boyfriend totally subdued, but the girlfriend was then going Tazmanian Devil on us. It’s all fun and games until she tries to scratch your eyes out. At that point, all bets are definitely off and she then gets sent to the tarmac real violent like. Concern yourself not for the lot of them as alcohol numbs it all.

Being years removed from babysitting drunken customers, I wouldn’t try to break up a drunken brawl if you were offering me rare bootlegged CDs. Half the time, these people don’t even know what the hell they’re fighting about anymore, and when they wake up in a jail cell in the morning, they probably wouldn’t even remember having killed, or injured you for trying to protect them from themselves. It’s just not worth it. Let ‘em kill each other if that’s what floats their boats. Nobody forced ‘em to consume enough alcohol to intoxicate a frickin’ whale.

I dunno. It just bothered me to read that some guy with his whole life ahead of him got wasted in such a needless way.

If this one doesn‘t put a lump in your throat, I seriously doubt that anything could.

Until We Meet again