2-28-2006 When truth and lies collide or: All cops are racists

“I find it interesting that the old way of gathering the news is slowly but surely losing market share,” Bush said in an exclusive interview for the new book STRATEGERY. “It’s interesting to watch these media conglomerates try to deal with the realities of a new kind of world.” --Dubya

Sooner or later, one way or another, those media conglomerates are going to be bribing some politicians at the very top of the political food chain to make that “new media” go away. It’s in both of their best interests. Charlatans like Ran Rather will again be able to attempt to sway elections by presenting false documents and bogus stories. The politicos won’t have to worry about boxer-clad bloggers looking over their shoulders every step of the way. And the media conglomerates can regain some of that lost market share of theirs. The only thing that’ll be lost in the shuffle is our “guaranteed” rights to free speech. And once they’re gone--they’re gone for good.

Fear not. We’ll still have NASCAR, Pamela Sue Anderson videos and plenty of fermented weeds. Drink up, kiddies. Apathy and docility will soon be enforced by law.

I reckon.

In my fractured inner place, the following story is much ado about nothing. Of course, the local media outlets will reflexively flip out while citing all sorts of “freedom of the press” malarkey. This decision does not deny them access to vital information, documents or city employees. It simply makes gaining that access a bit more time consuming. And to the high-and-mighty press, that’s an unforgivable sin punishable by being creamed on Page 1.

From The Citizens’ Voice:

In a memo issued Monday, Leighton said: “Effective immediately, all media inquiries for Mayor Thomas M. Leighton, city hall employees, the Wilkes-Barre Police Department, Fire Department, Health Department and Public Works Department should be directed to Administrative Coordinator Bridget Giunta.”

Mayor’s policy funnels media requests through assistant Leighton says move will provide better access for reporters

Check this out. They must have this guy set-up on speed dial, for Pete’s sake. Jeez oh whiz. I needs me a negative quote, so I’m a gonna get Negativity R Us on the blower right quick like.

Taxpayer advocate Walter Griffith Jr. believes the new policy will make it more difficult for the press to get information, calling it “a step backward for the city.”

“I think it’s just another way of keeping they public in the dark,” said Griffith, who often addresses city council about giving the public greater access to information.

“The press is our eyes and ears. City government is a public entity. The public should have access to anyone in government.”

Blah, blah, blah…listen to moi tell it! Try as he may, Jeffersonian-sounding he ain’t.

Here’s the scoop, Walter. Everybody and their illegitimate red-headed brothers keep sounding off about how our local governments should be run like profit-and-loss businesses. And I wholeheartedly agree. But, with that much agreed upon, how are you supposed to operate a successful business without restricting access to said business to anyone the wind may blow in at any time of the day? Sorry, but a conspiracy this ain’t. It’s not, so spare us the predictable pontificating from high atop that well-worn activist soap box of yours. I’ll make a deal with you. If you’ll shut the fu>k up already, I’ll vote for you. Okay? (wink, wink)

In any other venture, employees are regularly disciplined for taking too many smoke breaks. Oh, but at city hall, the wheels should come to a grinding halt every single time you come a callin’ looking to stir up some self-aggrandizing negative press? Isn’t that the flatulence that’s escaping here? Would you operate your business based on that out-of-control model? Yeah. That’s what I frickin’ thought.

Patsy Sue, have you got the payroll done yet? The deadline is in twenty minutes.

Sorry, Mr. Mayor, I do not. Pretty soon. I was busy helping Walter audit the office supply cabinet. I‘ll get to the payroll just as soon as I conclude my interview with Heidi Ruckno and James Conmy. Plus, WNEP is here and wants to shoot some videotape of the new carpeting in the third-floor powder room as part of a three-part series on government waste. Oh, and there‘s some really weird guy wearing a bicycle helmet waiting outside your office. He creeps me out. He has a police scanner blaring away and he babbled something about wanting one of those new Wilkes-Barre hat pins you promised him. Should I call headquarters and have him removed?

No, check that. I know that character. I’ll give him a new pin, some brightly-colored pipe cleaners to amuse himself with and a pat on the head. He’ll scurry away to his hidey hole lickety split.

Please get to the payroll as soon as you can.

I talked to a member of our local media today, and she correctly pointed out that if the press cannot get the information, the police reports, or what have you that they seek, that will lead to rampant speculation by the press and the public in the vacuum created by that lack of information.

If all media inquiries have to go through one person, that one person had better be readily available, completely forthcoming and definitely up to the task. Anything less will lead to controversy after controversy where none need exist in the first place.

Strap yourself in, Bridget. There seems to be some major turbulence dead ahead.

This was so utterly predictable, it’d be comical, if it wasn’t so completely disturbing in nature.

From The Beacon:

Students say race played a factor in arrest of Wilkes staff member

Officials say the incident is still under investigation

That’s one of the first things they teach the budding writers--the communication majors. Latch onto a buzz phrase, in this case “racial profiling,” and readers are sure to read whatever you’ve got to report. It doesn’t make for responsible journalism, but it does get noticed.

It should be noted that police officers routinely profile each and every time they hit the streets after roll call. Experience makes such profiling necessary. When some white yuppie in a designer suit stops his Mercedes coupe in the middle of a black neighborhood, any cop worth his paycheck should sit up and take notice. Conversely, when some black kid dressed like a gang member suddenly makes an appearance in a predominantly white neighborhood, the same warning flags should immediately go up. The question being: What’s wrong with this picture?

This constant racial hullabaloo as it pertains to policing is fairly easy to follow. Arresting some white guy is, well, an arrest. But arresting a non-white amounts to a well-publicized “incident” in all too many highly dubious cases.

Profiling of any such sort is no more sinister than reporters and editorialists prevaricating in lieu of hard facts. When someone who has run afoul of the law cries “racial profiling,” the assumption, the implication from the press is that it must be true since the current media template is that racism sells. With that destructive mindset firmly in place, it’s a wonder that police officers even go near anyone not sporting a pale complexion. Why bother doing your job when doing your job can result in an internal affairs nightmare? Or even worse from a continued employment standpoint.

When the white folks run afoul of the law, that’s reported as a legitimate, if not, overdue arrest. But when the non-whites run afoul of the law, that’s presented as yet another case of possible racial profiling. It’s self-perpetuating nonsense, and it undermines the ability of our peace officers to maintain the peace. If every routine traffic stop involving folks of color is going to result in charges of racism and demands for investigations, there will come a point where some police officers will consider the risks involved before doing the job we demand that they do. Who needs that kind of hassle?

From The Citizens’ Voice:

Wilkes students allege police used racial profiling in incident

If you didn’t watch this video the last time I linked to it, take four minutes out of your busy internet surfing and watch it now. All great comedy has some grounding in truth.

Chris Rock: How Not to Get Your Ass Kicked by the Police

Now let’s consider how that video applies to the charges of “racial profiling” currently being raised here in Wilkes-Barre.

#1--Obey the law.

That’s an antiquated concept, isn’t it? Sure, the law is really cool and all as it pertains to murders and robberies and such, but ignoring traffic laws on a routine basis isn’t a crime. Is it? Well, as it turns out, that pesky and overly annoying Pennsylvania Vehicle Code mandates that we bring our motor vehicles to a complete stop before making a right-hand turn involving any intersection where a traffic light, or a stop sign is obviously present.

In an effort to further educate the diversity honchos and far less than truthful students at Wilkes University, a “rolling stop” does not constitute a complete stop. No, that amounts to running traffic lights and stop signs and clearly displays a wanton disregard for the law. And to do it on a consistent basis with a cop taking note of it is not proof of racism when the overhead lights get to blazing away. Dispute that. Yeah, I know. The usual argument against those annoying traffic laws is that we all ignore them. To that I say, speak for yourself. Traffic laws exist for some very good reasons. Ignore them long enough and you’ll realize why when they stuff you into the back of Medic 5 with your intestines draped over your shoulder.

For more on all of that really painful stuff that follows traffic laws that are gleefully ignored, follow this link.

#2--Be polite.

Um, when someone else gets pulled over by the cops and you take it upon yourself to interfere with a routine traffic stop, you are not being polite. And when the cops involved demand that you return to your vehicle and allow them to do their jobs as prescribed by the law, they are not being overtly hostile, or proving themselves to be racists. And when you decide to exit your vehicle a second time and demand some badge numbers, you are then pushing your luck, if not, putting those very same police officers at risk. Police officers pull over vehicles on a routine basis, and very many of them get themselves shot in the process by the occupants of the vehicles involved. If I was in the middle of a traffic stop and some overzealous diversity honcho from the local college got to playing “race cop” on my vulnerable ass, she would definitely be running the risk of experiencing what only she would call “police brutality.”

The fact that she got herself handcuffed and not smacked face-first to the tarmac real ugly like clearly demonstrates that I lack the professionalism and the temperament required of a Wilkes-Barre police officer. A modicum of restraint is something that I am rarely capable of when total assholes get to doing what total assholes typically do. The way I see it, the cops were as polite as the situation dictated, while the “race cop” was not.

#3--Shut the fu>k up.

Being a white boy, I was not raised to be distrustful of the police, as so many of our non-white folks are being raised these days. Sure, I did my fair share of really stupid stuff while growing up, and that included quite a few up-close encounters with some now retired Wilkes-Barre cops. They acted all gruff and tough like, and so did we to the best of our limited abilities. They wielded their curses, shouts and nose-to-nose intimidation, while we shook uncontrollably on the inside and pretended not to care on the outside. Fu>kin’ fuzz, man. No, I never pissed myself, but I came close a couple of times.

But, as in any situation where brute force simmers just under the surface, you either get a feel for where than line that should not be crossed is situated, or you don’t and you get yourself treated to a baton. It has been my experience that when you go out of your way to agitate cops when they are clearly within the parameters of their job descriptions, they might end up growing real tired, real fast of your needless antics and respond by treating you to a couple of free glossies down at headquarters. You know, mug shots.

When one police officer in the middle of a traffic stop asks you to mind your own business and return to your vehicle, that’s your first hint that shutting the fu>k up might be in your interests. And when a second cop says exactly the same thing in a less than cheery manner, that line that needs not be crossed has just been drawn right at your feet. At that point, you’re making the next call. Do you shut the fu>k up, or do you press an already bad position knowing full well that your tiresome antics will be all but ignored when you cry “racial profiling” to the press?

If you ask me, Andita Parker-Lloyd should be forced to issue a very public apology to the police officers involved in this completely needless incident, right before her employment is terminated by Wilkes University. And Wilkes University President Tim Gilmour should be asking himself why his students find it so completely easy--so effortless--to lie to the media when hard-working, professional police officer’s reputations are on the line.

Coordinators of multicultural affairs would be useful and all if they’d cease and desist with the self-appointed race cop routines. They teach the younger folks that we need to be all-inclusive at all times no matter what, and then, by their own actions, they also teach the younger folks that their lawless actions should not be supervised, nor corrected in any way by any of those “racist” white cops.

If that’s what the hard-earned $25,000 in tuition per school years gets me, I’d just assume send my grandchildren to a trade school somewhere. I’d much prefer to raise some well-grounded grunt happily wearing a tool-belt than some “educated” punks looking for any opportunity to blame their shortcomings--their utter lack of respect for the law--on others.

Some people just don’t know when they should shut the fu>k up. (I know. They tell me that all the time.) And all too often, they happen to be the biggest racists going while parading themselves around as multicultural affair specialists.

Sez me.

But what do I know? I’m one of those clueless white boys that admires cops.

An excerpt:

As far as I can tell, generally speaking, nobody likes the cops until they desperately need one. Cops are kinda like chemotherapy. It's comforting to know they're available if need be, but the greater majority of us hayseeds never want to actually need their services. And statistically speaking, chances are that most us will never need the services of a cop for anything more threatening to our well-being than removing an illegally parked car from in front of our driveways, or forcing the delinquent kid down the block to admit throwing a ball through the front window. Odds are, you'll never come face-to-face with a burglar, a loaded handgun, or even a thoroughly deranged lunatic unless you're extremely unlucky, or not one who pays close attention to one's immediate environs.

To hear the folks that never suffered through a life-threatening emergency tell it; cops are lazy, overpaid, overweight, donut-eating, arrogant assholes.

To hear the cops tell it; the average, taxpaying resident is usually ungodly impatient, constantly sweating the really small stuff, and wouldn't know police work if it lurched forward and latched onto their gonads. Or gonad.

In these matters, I tend to side with the cops.

And I always will.


From the e-mail inbox Mark,

Your absolutely right on, what kind of city do these 'not in my backyarders' want. That dance club will be a boon for the downtown, this billiards hall will also help breathe life back into our formerly dying city. I said it before that it will only get worse before it gets better-Well guess what-the worst is over. The theater, the new dance club, this billiards hall. Things are looking up.


Whoa there! Watch that sh*t, will you? If you keep going on like that, people will accuse you of stupidly buying into this thoroughly discredited (?) “I believe” bunkum. And as we all know, in this mentally challenged county of ours, positive thoughts are not permitted.

Report immediately to the reeducation camp located at 161 Willow Street, and get your head screwed back on. Tap your red high-tops together 3 times and repeat after the self-anointed activist: There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. Even if it sucks.


From Philly.com:

Drinking water gets a drug test

Hmmm. Sounds like a good place for a dam, don’t it?

From the e-mail inbox Marc,

I agree with you that Scientology is nothing but a scam. I know you're not a big "video advertising box" fan, but if you didn't see the South Park episode that lampooned Scientology (including John Travolta and Tom Cruise), try and watch it. You'll laugh your ass off.



XXXX Joyce Road
Roslyn, Pa XXXXX

Let’s do it. There’s no need to take my word for things. I'm damaged goods.


Roslyn? Where the heck is that situated at? I think I’ve been there. You folks weren’t redistricted into West Virginia, were you? Then again, some of us have been to Theta and back. What’s the difference?

Stay in touch.

Wifey again

Get this, I’m going back to work in a couple of days. While I’m completely bored sitting here at home, I’m filled with trepidation at the thought of doing anything other than that. Weird, huh? In other words, it’s time.

Let the daily bikeabouts begin. I’m on it, man.