3-11-2006 If he doesn't split...you must acquit

"... This will not be a single operation, but two; one bigger than the other, but we will begin with the big one and postpone the bigger one, in order to see [how] diligent the American people is [in preserving] its life. If it chooses life, [it must] carry out the demands of the Muslims, and if it chooses death, then we are its best perpetrators."

Islamic websites carry al-Qaida's 'last warning'

What was the latest talking point from the accusation-rich, but solution-less Democrats? Oh yeah, Bush is exaggerating the threats from abroad to prop up his sagging polling numbers. Toss it and see if it sticks: Democrats in action.

Someone known to me sent along the following links which will lead you to the web homes of some of our illustrious graffiti criminals. I spent a good deal of time reading these sites last night, and they caused me to take pause and then come to the obvious conclusion that in lieu of responsible parenting, we may need to triple the number of abortions performed from here on out.

But before we suffer through what the wasted youth have to say, check out my daughter's site which just happens to be hosted by MySpace.com, the same outfit known for posting the sites of topless little girls doing their level best to come across as sluts. There's no boobies. No tattoos. No facial piercing. No ridiculous ghetto speak. No craving for drugs. No disrespect for authority. And no pictures of vandalism done to other folks properties. Nope. Just a girl from Wilkes-Barre being herself. You know, normal, well-adjusted and respectful of others. Luckily, she doesn't take after me.

Here's a disturbing entry I snagged from one of the graffiti criminals sites and there are plenty more where this one came from:

3/9/2006 11:10 AM

heyy, keep your head up. these fu*king cops are all corrupt and they're all just too damn lazy and scared to get off their asses and stop staring at a fu*kin computer. they need to go fu*king "revitalize" this city like they're suppose to be doing.. ya know.. like fixing all the fu*king potholes, getting the heroin dealers off the streets, not to mention the child molesters and meth dealers, and wait.. we cant forget about the corrupt mother*king cops working along side of them. thats who they need to be going after. not people like you who are harmless. keep fighting you can beat this! stay strong man-- ttyl--

Since when do cops fix potholes? Not only are these kids criminals, they're freaking dumb like herpes warts.

Only on the internet will you find these types of despicable and baseless attacks on police officers. According to the author who mistakenly thought that anonymous internet postings could not be traced, cops are "all corrupt, too damn lazy, and scared to get off their asses" and work in conjunction with "the corrupt mother*king cops working along side of them.

If they were face-to-face with a cop, they would be singing distinctly different tunes, while praying to the spray paint gods that the officer doesn't spot a legitimate reason to search their cars. If any of my kids wrote that absolute filth, it'd take a couple of cops to save the kid in question a thorough thrashing. I sh*t you not.

I don't know if there are more graffiti arrests in the working that could generate more press, but if I hear one parent of the arraigned complaining that the cops should be spending their time going after "real" criminals and not poor innocent Suzie, I am going to blow my head gasket. If it's somehow acceptable for your fu>k-up of a kid to spray paint private and publicly-owned properties in my city, then it's okay for me to spray paint all over that overpriced SUV of yours that you think is so fu>king important. Fact is, if you had spent more time at home parenting and less time working three jobs just to keep up with the equally materialistic Jones', your kid probably wouldn't be the fu>k-up that he is today.

If your kid damages my stuff, how 'bout if I damage yours? Sounds fair to me.



Wika (Read the comments from visitors)



Criminal Central

Please, don't even think of e-mailing me and telling me that you know one of these kids involved and they're really, really swell. The really, really swell kids know that it's in their best interests to practice restraint. They know about respecting the property of other folks. And they also know that the only thing protecting them from the likes of the lawless is the local police department. Whatever. We can't all have our act together, now can we?

If any of those aforementioned sites were created by any of my kids, a father-on-kid 10-85 would have resulted right quick. But, my kids were raised by a stay-at-home Mom and a Dad that enforced the clearly defined rules without exception. I'm not trying to tell anyone else how to parent, but it's obvious to me that some major beatings need to commence around here.

Sez me.

I love the smell of blown out matches! LoL! (???)

I gotta have a talk with my kid.

The only thing of value I found on those graffiti freak sites was the easy-to-do slideshow thingie I slapped into my main page.

It was frightfully simple to create and it's easily customized to boot. Cool. I have literally thousands of pictures of Wilkes-Barre and such at my disposal, but I was asked why I chose the pics that I did to be part of my very first slideshow offering. A lack of time was one consideration, but there was another facet to my on-the-fly decision-making. I'm completely weary of the idiots--the self-appointed activist's--constant tarnishing of the reputation of a perfectly fine place to live.

Pic 1: Gage and Larry sitting on Ladder 1

What you have there is a little boy who finds one of his heroes to be totally approachable. Rather than watching blood-and-guts movies and thinking in terms of his boyhood heroes as automatons, Gage has learned at the tender age of 4 that firemen, as well as police officers, are but average people who choose to do a very challenging and dangerous job. In Wilkes-Barre, little boys can wander into a firehouse on a hazy, hot afternoon and get to know their heroes

Pic 2: Zach sound asleep on The Stomper
Pic 3: Gage on his Trail bike

I keep hearing people going on and on about how utterly dangerous Wilkes-Barre's streets have become, yet, I can't think of a single street Gage, Taylor, Zach and myself haven't cycled the length of.

Pic 4: Healing Field

Again, this has to do with Wilkes-Barre's overblown image as some sort of failed place. The Healing Field was a momentous achievement. It was simultaneously uplifting and gut-wrenching. We took pride in our country, honored our dead and tried not to think about how many more would be killed before sanity might prevail again. Kingston did not host this event nor did any other community in this entire county. Wilkes-Barre brought the Healing Field to Luzerne County. It attracted visitors from all over the country and there are Wilkes-Barre Healing Field flags on display in the communities from which those visitors hailed from.

Pic 5: Darth Vader & Gage at the '05 block party

This was taken at the 16th installment of our block party and never have we had an incident at any of our community-minded and community-run get-togethers. If Wilkes-Barre is so utterly dangerous after dark, wouldn't such a risk-free city tradition be impossible? And who volunteered his time to wear that cumbersome Darth Vader suit on a very hot August night only because he knew the many young children in attendance would be thrilled? That would be a Wilkes-Barre police officer.

Pic 6: Tom Leighton & Moi at the '05 block party

I keep hearing the perpetually disgruntled going off about how the "movers & shakers" live in Barney Farms, dine at The Westmoreland Club and settle graft and corruption deals at pricey country clubs where they stuff and roast the likes of us common serfs. Yet, this city's first couple think nothing of hanging out with the hoi polloi, tossing a few water balloons and pitching a few uncooked eggs at each other. In Wilkes-Barre, our mayor is friendly, approachable and thoroughly likeable when given half a chance.

Pic 7: Gage and Zach running through the fountain on Public Square

Despite what The Times Leader might tell you, the water in that fountain does not cause unspeakably horrible diseases. Like my kids before them, my grandkids love kicking off their shoes and going berserk in that water fountain. So much for Public Square being a dangerous place, heh?

Pic 8: Larry teaching Taylor how to operate Ladder 1

Have you ever heard a 2-year-old girl excitedly tell her Mommy that she drove a fire truck today instead of saying she saw a fire truck today? No? I did. Well, she mostly learned how to raise and lower the driver's seat, but why split hairs? This city has many outgoing and professional employees just like Larry, but you'd never know it to read our newspapers.

Pic 9: Kayak pic

Nothing to do? Look no further than that dirty Susquehanna river of ours for some local history tidbits, recreating, or, if you'd prefer, a good workout. To experience the river from the middle of it's fluctuating expanse is to learn that we have done it wrong for far too long and need to make things right and healthy again. If it were cleaned to any significant degree, we'd be flocking to it in droves. Trust me on this.

Pic 10: Def Leppard

Yeah, West Wyoming is nice and quiet. And, yes, Kunkle is picturesque at times. But where else in NEPA can I walk off the front porch and arrive at a Def Leppard concert in under seven minutes? If the damn car won't start, I can still walk to the big rock 'n' roll show in twenty minutes.

Pic 11: Gage at the '04 St. Patty's Day parade

First, you've got a kid who kayaked 10 miles on the Susquehanna before his third birthday, hence the "river horn." Wilkes-Barre is synonymous with RiverFest. Secondly, if you want to take the kids to the really big parades in the Wyoming Valley, Wilkes-Barre is where they are staged. Come on down!

Pic 12: Zach and his toddler buddies playing on the sidewalk

Again, our kids and grandkids play just out front. I know the people in the more far-flung bucolic locales have been trained to think this is a dangerous endeavor, but it is not the case. Just because our houses aren't separated by well-manicured acres doesn't mean we can't play out front without getting shot, raped or whatever it is that Walter Griffith is complaining about of late.

Pic 13: The Three-point-stance pic

Same deal. Whether in the Nord End, or in The Heights where this little scrum went down, the kinfolk in Wilkes-Barre have not been reduced to hiding behind ballistic shields and whatnot. We do the same things the folks in the other communities do, but the out-of-power Republicans in this city keep painting a very different picture of what living in Wilkes-Barre is all about.

Pic 14: Zach, Taylor & Gage on the front porch

We put the sandbox table gadget on the front porch and the rodent crew proceeds to spread play sand all over the freakin' place. And we even check on them every so often. No bullets. No hookers. No drug dealers. No crime to speak of. Just three rodents playing in one of Wilkes-Barre's neighborhoods. It's safe. Go figure.

Pic 15: Taylor mugging for the camera at Knoebels

We know about the glut of amenities this area has to offer, but Knoebels is the best damn amusement park that I've ever been to, and it's but an hour away. It's quiet, it's clean, it's green, it's never too crowded to enjoy and we always get there early enough to back the cars right up to the picnic/grilling grove. You can have your Super Duper Loopers, we'll be at Knoebels, an old-time amusement park from a slower, more friendlier time.

My point? Wilkes-Barre isn't nearly as bad as it's made out to be.

Join us.

After posting what I did about Jon Fox and the reaction to his Times Leader article about this blog, we bounced a couple of e-mails off of each other. I did not get the impression that he thought I would reprint his e-mails here, so I will not. Instead, I'll provide this tiniest of snippets of what he had to say:

You're a unique guy in a pretty homogenous city. I was just trying to get that across. That's what makes you you and informs your blog. What's the point of profiling you if I can't give readers a look behind the screen.

Homogenous? Holy jumpin' orangutan farts!!! Did he just call us a bunch of homos???

Alright. Enough. Sorry about that.

I can follow his thinking. No glossies of him will be appearing on the 'spensive dartboard anytime soon. As I previously stated, I'm good with it, except for the "boxers" thing.

A look behind the screen? So, what am I now?

The Wizard of Blog?

From the e-mail inbox To all:

It's official. I received Special Public Notice 06-12 in the mail today from the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.

The joint hearing ( held by the Corps and PA DEP ) is scheduled for Monday, 5/1/06 on the 3rd floor of the Sheehy-Farmer Campus Center at King's College in Wilkes-Barre, PA. The doors will open at 5:00 p.m., and if you wish to give oral testimony beginning at 7 p.m., you should arrive early and sign-in.

There is also another Public Comment Period for written comments to be included in the official record.

The period begins on March 13 and ends May 15, 2006. If you missed an opportunity the first time around, or if you want to write again, here's your second chance. Details will be posted on my website in the next day or so. I'm sure the Corps will also post a notice on their website early this week.

Please spread the word.

DXX (Kayak Dude)

Kayak Dude

I'm on it, dude.

Don't blame me for the following pic. That was my son's creation, but he wouldn't model his latest outrage for publication on the internet. Like always, Dad had to do it. For those screwy "activists" currently wishing me dead, remember, the apples don't fall too far from the tree. If you absolutely loathe me, you're sure to hate The Son of The Son of, er, you know what I mean.

Get this. He's going to wear that to the parade tomorrow. I warned him that some might take offense to it, but his thinking is that Hugo allegedly killed some drug dealers, so what's the big deal even if he did? More importantly, he just likes to get a rise out of people. I wonder where he learned that.

See y'all at the parade.

If he doesnˇ®t splitˇ¦you must acquit

Didn't take long:

From the e-mail inbox What a pic

If he doesn't split...you must acquit!!!
If he doesn't split...you must acquit!!!
If he doesn't split...you must acquit!!!

I dunno.