6-26-2006 Stuff

I just got back from my daily jaunt through the downtown. The Percy Brownís parking lot was near full and had vehicles lined up waiting to pull in with their turn signals flashing. The central garage was filled to capacity, coned off and at the South Main entrance stood some guy telling people where to find alternative parking areas. The ground lot across the street from the YMCA was humming, and hordes of people waited patiently to cross South Main while in route to Wilkes-Barre Movies 14. And a throng of people were milling about on the sidewalks in front of the movie complex.

Now, I realize the moviegoers are only coughing up a buck a ticket, but they are flocking to downtown Wilkes-Barre to see second-run movies. I havenít seen this much foot traffic in the downtown since, say, Franklinís Family Restaurants circa 1985. Needless to say, I am frickiní jazzed. And, no, I am not going to take in a $1 movie. Iím waiting until Friday afternoon when I can plunk down $7.50 each for wifey and myself, whatever it may cost me for the grand rodents, see a new movie and support my downtown merchants. Movies, lunch, substandard cheese crackers and a Sunkist soda on Public Square. Sounds like a plan.

So, The Times Leader has a new owner and lives on. Thatís really good news for this area. The Citizensí Voice has agenda written all over it. Namely, whatever the agenda of local, state and national Democrats, thatís the Voiceí agenda. Itís lame, itís gotten stale and it is completely predictable. Or, you could say it sucks.

If I remember correctly, Times-Shamrock bought the Citizensí Voice for, like, $700 or somewhere thereabouts. Okay, it wasnít that cheap, but as newspapers go, it was about as expensive to acquire as a tiny bottle of ink and a used quill. It was a close-out, bargain basement price. They way I figured it, the asking price for the Times Leader had to be significantly higher than the Citizensí Voice was a few years back. Therefore, it would be too much debt for the Shamrock empire to take on only to close a newspaper. At least, thatís what I was hoping.

Two newspaper town: TL sold to former publisher

Anyway, Iím pleased to learn that the Times Leader will continue on and offer an alternative to the Commissionersí Voice.

Which leads me to Casey Jones, a columnist employed by said Times Leader. I have received numerous messages from folks wondering 1.) if I saw his piece about bloggers, and 2.) if I was going to comment on it. I was not going to, but why not?

In case you havenít noticed, I rarely, if ever comment on any of his columns simply because I rarely, if ever get past the first or second paragraph of anything he penned. If it ever dawns on me that Iím looking forward to his work, Iíll e-mail Dr. Kevorkian and ask him for some tips on how best to off myself in a less than grotesque manner.

I really donĎt care what Casey Jones thinks about bloggers. Based solely on the easily forgotten content he has had published to date, itís fairly easy to understand why he might set about busting on bloggers. In his industry, he can only look up at his peers, so itís fun, almost reaffirming for him to have us to look down upon. Although, in the real world, he is forced to look up at the lot of us lowly bloggers. This guy makes Mini Me look tall by direct comparison.

Look here, Mighty Casey. Donít go taking it out on me just because you need a step-ladder to retrieve your bottle of Flintstone vitamins from the top of the refrigerator. Yes, I can see over the top of the refrigerator. Yes, I can snag the mail without standing on the porch glider. And, yes, I can not only get my hand over a basketball rim, I can even see it without using expensive binoculars.

It must have been a slow news week if the best he could do was hack the nuts of those who blog. He claimed in not so many words that we donít do our homework. Really? Well dig this. I do not own pajamas, let along blog in them. I do not drink coffee. And I donít even know what a fu>king Klondike Bar is, so, so much for Casey Jones doing his homework--knowing what the fu>k heís inanely going on and on about. Thing is, Iíd rather be a colorful, yet lowly blogger than a boring troll-like creature.

Casey is to award-winning journalism what most drooling toddlers are to spelling.

Sez me.

Letís explore the witty world of bloggers

Explore my shorts.

Park underneath the theater

Based on what IĎm seeing in our downtown of late, 750 additional parking spaces will be much-needed in no time. Did I mention that Iím jazzed?

From WNEP:

Ground Broken on Transportation Center

I warned Ďem. How many freaking times did I warn Ďem?

First, we had this story and the lefties poo-pooed it. No! No! Those donít count. Theyíre technically not Weapons of Mass Destruction. Not the bad kind. Not the new kind. Not the..Oh, eff you and Bush, too!!!

Report: Hundreds of WMDs Found in Iraq

Question: Is phosgene gas not a weapon that could cause mass destruction?

Mustard gas doesnít count?

Now the bed wetters have to pool their talents and explain (spin) this one away.

Was Saddam Regime a Broker for Terror Alliances?

Itís interesting how a shell filled with jellified mustard gas could be depicted as dangerous by one group, and totally unimportant, almost innocuous by the very next group. One group is being far less than honest. One group denies reality. One group has gone damn near nutzoid. One group should not be trusted with our national security.

OĎKarma Terrace

Fishing in Afghanistan. Or, was it Noxen? Oh, fiddlesticks! I cannot remember.

From the e-mail inbox New York High School Math Proficiency Exam

NAME__________________________ ______


1. Ramone has an AK-47 with a 30 round clip. He usually misses 6 out of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive-by shooting. How many drive-by shootings can Ramone attempt before he has to reload?

2. Otis has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8-ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the rest of his hold?

3. Rufus pimps 3 ho's. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Rufus's $800 per day crack habit?

4. Darius wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounce bags will he need to make to obtain the 20% profit?

5. Desmond gets $200 for a stolen BMW, $150 for stealing a Corvette, and $100 for a 4x4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 4x4's, how many more Corvettes must he steal to have $900?

6. Leroy got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 of his hit money per month, how much money will be left when he gets out?

7. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with 3 eight ounce cans of spray paint with 20% paint left over?

8. Tyrone knocked up 3 girls in the gang. There are 27 girls in his gang. What is the exact percentage of girls Tyrone knocked up?

9. LaSheena is a gang lookout. LaSheena also has a Boa Constrictor that eats 3 small rats per week at a cost of $5 per rat. If LaSheena makes $700 week as a lookout, how many weeks can she feed the Boa on one week's income?

10. Marvin steals Joe's skateboard. As Marvin skates away at 15 MPH, Joe loads his 357 Magnum. If it takes Joe 20 seconds to load his piece, how far away will Marvin be when he gets whacked?

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Smoke up, Johnny