1-20-2007 What a bunch of sh*t

If you haven‘t seen the unrated DVD “Feast,” grab a copy, put the rodents to bed and get ready for a wild ride.

Here’s the opening scene:

A blood-splattered guy bursts into an isolated saloon carrying a shotgun and tells the startled occupants that they had better listen up and do as he says if they want to live past the next couple of minutes. They initially suspect he intends to rob the place, but he gladly gives up his shotgun to the barkeep and announces that huge, lightning quick man-eating monsters are about to descend upon the bar and they need to barricade every possible entrance like right this second. And within a moment or two, he is headless.

This one is a keeper, but definitely not suitable for the kiddies or the squeamish..


This just in: According to our county government, heightened fecal coliform levels in the Susquehanna’s waters hasn’t killed any kayakers, so what’s all the fuss about playing in sewage? Come…recreate…and try not to swallow any.

Last one in is a rotten…

I love this one:

County: Untreated sewage will not accumulate with dam

U.S. Rep. Chris Carney, D-Dimock Township, issued a statement Friday on the dam proposal.

“I am supportive of Representative Kanjorski’s leadership on this issue,” Carney said. “I look forward to working with him on issues that affect the greater Scranton and Wilkes-Barre area.”

Carney’s congressional district includes Kingston and Forty Fort and two West Side municipalities along the river. The dam would affect the river along Wilkes-Barre, Larksville, Edwardsville, Kingston, Forty Fort and Plains Township. The dam would stretch from Larksville near U.S. Route 11 to Wilkes-Barre near Gordon Avenue.

Great. A partisan suck-ass who won’t cheat on his wife. If Uncle Paul says it’s a good idea, then golly, it must be a good idea. I am supportive. And what do Kanjorski and Carney have in common regarding this dam issue? If and when it goes up, you won’t see them playing in the feces. Not even close.

You go first, Mr. Suck-ass

This is classic.

From the Times Leader:

Proposal for dam facing hurdles

• The project would expose the public to untreated sewage.

The county says other major metropolitan areas have active recreation areas in spots where sewage flows during heavy rain because of combined storm and sewer pipes. A public notification program would tell river users when fecal coliform levels are a concern, the county said.

Kayakers and canoeists have not been restricted or warned about using the Susquehanna because of sewage, the county says.

“Since existing water quality issues have not prompted any programs, restrictions or advisories to limit access to the river for recreational use, then preventing future recreational uses of the river, based on water quality, is neither reasonable nor justified,” the county wrote.

Beautiful. Since the county never worried about our health in the past, in only stands to reason that the river must be safe to recreate on. Besides, when it finally is monitored and deemed to be a health risk, they will warn those millions of arriving tourists that it’s not safe today. But, we must reiterate, it’s really, really, really, really safe. Enjoy and try not to swallow any.

Don’t worry, be happy. Support the inflatable dam and then watch the resulting eminent domain abuse begin!

You go first, Mr. County Engineer

What a bunch of sh*t.

The latest on the loose 10-82 in the family?

Well, you kind of got me. After repeated failed inquiries, we finally learned that she was arrested for, we believe, filing a false police report. And, since she was accusing someone of perpetrating an aggravated assault, a felony, she could and should be charged with a felony. We were also told there’s a warrant out for “one of her sons.” I figure I know which one. Yesterday, she came home from wherever she was incarcerated, or processed, or whatever happened to her. She, of course, made absolutely no mention of her having been arrested.

But she did contact the media again, I assume, to file another bogus report. Although, I did contact her media contact and warned them against any further contact with her. And as I said to her media contact, she doesn’t need to be in jail. What she needs is help. She’s not a 10-82, she’s a 302.

And, as per usual, we can’t even hope to pry the truth out of her. And there was no media follow-up on whatever she was actually charged with. So, we have no idea what’s going on. And as a direct result, she won’t get the help she so obviously needs.

I fully expect further rumblings of some sort.


From the e-mail inbox Good evening,

Your account of the military buildup in the mideast is both accurate and tragic. If only we had spent some of this money to wean ourselves from their oil. Our highly-touted trillion dollar military is of little use against the threat we face today. When some lunatic detonates a nuclear device in LA or NYC our "superpower" status will be of little comfort. Sadly, if we want our grandkids to grow up we are going to have to find a way to convince all world leaders, including the crazies, that it is in their best interest not to obliterate the world.

Your use of the word “crazies” is interesting. I once heard Kevin Lynn say that Iran’s new president, Mr. Unpronounceable, is not crazy. Really? Well, he huffs and puffs at the only country in the world that can glass-over his country in a heartbeat and loses just about all of his political support at home as a direct result. Translation? His own countrymen think he’s crazy, as do I. I think his grip on power in Iran will prove to be short-lived. The bigger question is, will Iran ever put a moderate in charge and seek to change it’s hostile relationship with the west?

What will become of our grandkid’s world? Well, I don’t see this country, or any other industrialized country weaning themselves off of oil in any meaningful sense. I mean, look around you. You hear average folks saying we need to, but they still race around blowing off traffic lights in vehicles that displace more water than the Essex class aircraft carriers of old. Must like they yap about needing to address this “climate change” claptrap. They talk a good talk, but cannot survive without the central air, the emergency generators, the gas-guzzlers and the hair dryers. Hey, Bush should fix global warming, not me. Americans are too selfish and pampered to ever change their cushy lifestyles short of an all-out oil embargo.

This is what I was thinking this morning. Some of the most heart-wrenching stuff that came from the 9/11 attacks was listening to the cell phone calls from those trapped or about to die to their loved ones. These days, everybody seems to have a camera phone, so just imagine the horrible images we’ll be treated to when the next big attack finally comes down. Although, the electronic magnetic pulses generated by a nuke would wipe out the communication grid to a large degree and spare us those images. Picture it: New York City goes critical mass and my cell phone won’t work. Well, this friggin’ sucks!

Our God says there is no other. And so does theirs. And theirs, too. And…

From the e-mail inbox Oy vey. Tony George... mayor? A return to the McGroarty Golden Era of Mismanagement? Listen to him talk. He really is a real-life Chief Wiggum from The Simpsons. And as a former police chief, what do you tell the papers you're worried about? Street sweeping! Brilliant! Fu>king brilliant!

Seriously: WIlkes-Barre has more fu>ktards running for office per square foot than any other city in America. Never, in my 17 years of dealing with law enforcement, have I met a chief who exuded the opposite of leadership. He couldn't lead a three-year-old to the crapper. He'd be lucky to be a meter maid in most other cities. And now he wants to be mayor? He would probably hire McGroarty as police chief. I'm serious. Wrap your brain around that one.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! And I was trying to be nice. Dude, tell us what you really think.

Based upon his approach as mayor, as police chief, I think ole Tomzilla would run a very, very efficient police department. Since he seems to think we don’t need very many police officers, there would be less to manage. Simple, ain’t it?

I remember the last time one of the scum bums set ablaze those old trains cars at the train station property. We had one police officer that arrested the dork and then transported him to headquarters for processing. We had one cop securing the fire hoses at one end of the complex. We had a third protecting the hoses at the other end. And…that was it. Three patrol cars on a Sunday morning--total. And then the 911 folks kept the cops advised as to how many police calls were stacking up while the entire city had no police officers patrolling at all.

Consider this: Now that we’re due to hire 11 more police officers to add to the 10 previously hired, and now that the downtown is being remodeled from one end to the other, and now that economic investment is busting out all over the place, and now that the city’s finances and bond ratings have been stabilized, and now that all of the less than reliable fire engines have been replaced, and now that we have two new ambulances, and now that the Solomon bridges are being replaced, and now that the dilapidated homes are disappearing, and now that the once-sinking storm sewers are being replaced, and now that new homes are being built in the city, and now that streets not paved for three long decades (Frederick and S. Franklin) are suddenly being paved…now George emerges promising us…what was it again?

Let‘s do this, shall we?

For some weeks now, I’ve been listening to practically everybody and their red-headed step-sister wives whining about the lack of snowfall. Now, in my mind, that’s insane, but what does it matter when a crazy person gets to calling practically everyone else insane?

Much to my dislike, our long-anticipated winter has finally arrived. And lo-and-behold, it snowed last night, albeit, just a little bit. Join me in a song, will you? Happy days are here again…

Isn’t this wonderful?

Why, sure it is. And judging from what I heard on the scanner for all of last night, everyone seemed to be really enjoying those car accidents occurring from one end of the city to the other. Yes, kiddies, we get to play bumper cars all over again. Put on your seatbelts and your iPODs and let ‘er rip. Yippee!!!

You’re all nuts.

Sez me.


Here it comes