2-23-2007 Itís 11 oíclock, do you know where your children are?

Nothing against Maryanne Petrilla, but since Greg Skrepenak and Petrilla have announced they will run as a team, Iím thinking sheís a tad undersized. Therefore, I say we should elect Dave Shipula. And with two behemoths serving as county commissioners, I figure weíd have the best offensive line of any county government anywhere.

Now all we need is a quarterback.

(Wink. Wink.)

Jeez, I really expected better from the usual rabble rousers that more often than not transform our council meetings into near vaudevillian exercises. WBREís Jill Konopka was at city hall doing a live report at 5 pm, so obviously the television folks were anticipating a ďplowingĒ brouhaha come 6 pm. It never came about.

Itís hard to criticize, face-to-face, the city employees that just spent the better part of a week working 18-hour shifts, so the public comments concerning the storm cleanup were somewhat muted. Being a scanner listener, I know how long those guys were at it. I even heard one of the DPW guys launch a few choice F-words over the scanner airwaves due to frustration and, I suspect, fatigue. Wash his mouth out with soap. Iím thinking Irish Spring.

The crunchy water got to flying last Tuesday afternoon, and since the meteorologists were predicting a big, big storm, I stayed up practically all night to monitor the snowfall totals, and to listen to the goings-on in the city overnight. Despite working his normal shift on Tuesday, city honcho Butch Frati was back at work at 2:30 am and did not return home until well after dark on Wednesday night. And what did he get for his efforts? Try nonstop criticism. Hell, itís fun and frightfully easy to criticize. The thing that needs to be asked of those leveling the criticisms is what would they do differently given the chance to do so. Thatís the part where the blank stares suddenly come over the loudest of the people.

In a nutshell, the DPW guys did what they could with a tough situation and thatís about all we can ask of them. The next time the sky goes berserk on us, brew a pot of coffee and approach those guys working the long shifts baring hot gifts.

Wilkes-Barre praises storm responders

One other storm-related fact: While the Wilkes-Barre Area School District was open for business this past Monday, Hazletonís was closed and Scrantonís schools were on a two-hour delay due to poor road conditions.

Is the proposed sex offender ordinance really that big of a stinker? Or is this public snub simply election year politics?

McCarthy, irritated, bows out

WILKES-BARRE Ė Frustrated that his proposed sex offender ordinance failed to pass again, a longtime Wilkes-Barre councilman abruptly announced Thursday that he will not seek re-election this year.

ďI will not serve on a council that refuses to at least hear what should be done to protect our children,Ē McCarthy said.

McCarthy, 70, reintroduced his proposal on Thursday, a month after council refused to vote on his last version. None of the other six council members seconded his motion to vote on the revised ordinance, so it expired again.

I didnít care for the original draft, since it seemed to be steering the leering perverts towards my end of town. I havenít seen any of the reworking or maps, so Iíll reserve judgment on all of that. But with society being what it is these days, I donít see any sexual predator laws making our kids too much safer than they already are. Or arenĎt.

Is it any wonder that sexual perversions seem to be on the rise when every time we look at the television advertising box, all we see is sex, sex, sex and more sex? I stayed up very late last night and every other commercial had something to do with making menís penises harder or larger. I find that not only uncomfortable, I find it embarrassing. What, I canít even watch reruns of classic television sitcoms without the massive and steady dose of sex? Thank goodness my two girls are raised, because I wouldnít want to sit here with two pigtailed preadolescents with visions of enlarged penises dancing in their heads.

I see more boobs and bottoms bared on broadcast television than I did when my mom subscribed to this weird new wired gadget--a cable television box--back in 1972. My housing project buddies and I would stay up late so as to enjoy the wonder and beauty of Al Pacino saying ďfu>kĒ 300 times or so in ďSerpico.Ē At the present rate of societal decline, I figure weíll be treated to the same during the nightly news soon enough.

We also stayed up late to see Tuesday Weldís bare bottom in ďNashville.Ē Off came the clothes, away from the camera she strolled and we could only imagine what it would be like to see one of those up close and in person. These days, Iíd be shocked if I watched television for a few hours without seeing somebodyís bared bottom. Whatís this new game show, ďGay, Straight or Taken?Ē Spare me. The Newlywed Game it isnít! So, now I have to explain to my granddaughter what ďgayĒ means long before she even understands that the world is not actually flat?

Remember, say 30 years ago, when you spotted a girl that could not be contained by any type of reinforced bra? Whoa, daddy! These days, with breast implants being almost mandatory, itís gotten to the point where large, large breasts are not the head turner that they once were. But there is certainly no shortage of artificially large boobies jiggling all over the television screen. Where once we sex-starved teenaged boys adjusted our schedules just to get one quick glimpse per night of something curvy and bouncy, now all I need to do is tune into ABC, CBS, or NBC.

Forget the internet. Itís true that you can find anything on the internet, but these days the stuff that can be found is easy to access and some of it is far beyond being repulsive. Somebody once sent me a link to an internet club devoted to people who give themselves oral sex. Yeah, you read that right. Needless to say, that link came from one of my many anonymous detractors. Pussies, as I like to call them. In my day, I saw the Playboys and the Penthouses and the Hustlers. But I ainít never seen nothing like what can be found in cyberspace. Sex is big, big business in this country, yet, weíve got a political party that demonizes legitimate businesses. Figure those clueless socialists out, I canít.

So everywhere we look itís sex, sex, sex and more sex. Itís on television. Itís in the commercials. Itís in our movies. Itís in our music. Itís a time-honored perk for our elected representatives. It is our pop culture du jour.

And with that having been said, is it really any wonder that so many people saddled with one chromosome too many are hoping to use our children to orchestrate their sexual perversions? And is it any wonder our children are preyed upon when they are given so little direct supervision by their absentee parents?

Weíve got this gaggle of kids that run up and down the street every day. They donít live on this street, but it has become their playground of choice. Never, ever do we see any of their parents come and check on them unless the clock is fast approaching 11 pm. Those kids are on their own, period. So lets say I grab one or two of them at 4 pm, lock them in the basement and order them to wash down my bikes. Think anyone would miss them during the next six hours or so? I highly doubt it. Youíve got a sex-obsessed society wherein the children run free. Itís a recipe for disaster, yet, weíre all shocked when the disaster arrives anywhere near our doorsteps.

Getting back to the proposed sexual predator ordinance, we canít legislate away stupidity. We canít outlaw lewdness in our media. We canít outlaw porn for fear of a violent revolt. We canít outlaw sexual addictions brewing beneath the trousers. And we canít outlaw piss-poor parenting. When it comes to sexual predators, I seriously doubt that we can do much about them except by locking them up and throwing away the key after their first offense. Preemptive action would be preferable, but itís virtually impossible when you consider how completely ingrained sex has become in our daily lives. The nonstop bombardment of temptation coupled with poor parenting being the Ďnorm is a corruption of minors case just waiting to happen.

And if itís censorship to remove the T&A from every aspect of our daily routines, Iím saying what we need is a monster stroke of censorship and soon. All I know is, I never once found myself getting all aroused while watching The Donna Reed Show. Thereís wholesome, and then thereís unhealthy.

You canít legislate away a sickness that pervades our entire culture. And, yes, as an old-fashioned sort of guy, I enjoy boobies and bared bottoms just as much as the next guy. But like any other hard to obtain delicacy, when you get it on a very, very regular basis, it loses some of itís luster.

As for Councilman McCarthyís laudable efforts, I wholeheartedly agree that we need to do something. Itís just that I think the only way we can reverse these troubling trends is by hoarding our entire populace into a time machine and traveling back to, say, 1963. And with finances being what they are, I seriously doubt that the City of Wilkes-Barre can afford a time machine.

I dunno.

Run Jim, run!

I criticized one of this guyĎs properties once before and he immediately shot back at me with an angry e-mail. But when he realized that I do not criticize from the relative safety of anonymity, he actually invited me to do lunch over a power point presentation. I declined that gracious offer, but I did appreciate the fact that he respected my opinion being that I had the stones to attach my name to my criticisms.

Greco backs Steam Heat building

Thom Greco says he will continue work to convert steam heat building

I canít figure this one anymore. Heís been pitching this super duper speedy connectivity for a decade now. But technology is upgraded so fast these days, Iím thinking by the time this dream is even close to being realized, it will be less than on the cusp of cutting-edge technologies. Thatís what Iím thinking.

As for the structure itself, when it rains with any veracity, water pours through that roof like Tiki Barber through the Eaglesí porous run defense. And as a person who is paid to protect structures, I know that nothing will condemn the integrity of any structure faster than water. If that place is really going to be rehabilitated, it needs a new roof and like right now.

And if I get hit by falling glass one more time while cycling on by it, Iím gonna snap on somebody.

I cannot disagree with this proposed legislation more loudly and grotesquely. What we are doing with this is legislating away someoneís livelihood.

Basically, if youíre a trucker, you are no longer welcome in Wilkes-Barre. And how many big rigs do we actually have parking on city streets? 10? A dozen? 18, perhaps? Weíve got a whole 2 in the Nord End. One on Madison Street and another on Hollenback Street. I know, I step over the extension cords charging the glow plugs every now and again.

W-B parking ban garners supporters

And truck drivers are ďrudeĒ to be parking their rigs on city streets? Trust me, there is no shortage of rudeness going on over parking spaces in this city, so why single out truckers for votes?

But why am I surprised by this? This is the city that tried to legislate away bicycles Ďcause they scare the older folks.


Kayak Dude made me aware of this 10-minute video that provides a glimpse of what our riverfront will look like once the remodeling project is completed.

Cool. Very freaking cool. As an avid cyclist, I canít wait.

Riverfront Project Video

As a matter of fact, a former Chamber employee promised to drop the disc of this video in my mailbox a while back, but that never came to pass. But I guess I canít chastise him too, too much, since he once saved a thoroughly soaked and totally freezing Gage Andrew from a partially flooded kayak and delivered him home to his overly nurturing grandma. The ďchocolate waterĒ kid himself.

AgainÖthanks, dude.

I just got an e-mail notification that somebody subscribed to my half-crazed YouTube videos. I get that sort of thing every once in a while, but I donít know much about it. As far as my videos are concerned, I think Ďem up, I create Ďem real quick, I post Ďem and thatís that.

Anywho, it turns out that this new subscriber of mine is in the running for a school director job. And as far as Iíve seen, this has to be the hippest campaign video ever seen in these backwards parts.

Frank R. Sorick for School Director

This is exactly what I was jabbering on about some days back. This is making a mockery of a local election process. This is a self-aggrandizing circus stunt wrapped in the borderline dementia that has become activism in this city of late.

Youíre going to need to use the little magnification tool to follow this link.


So we have set up a campaign finance committee, supposedly, to elect someone as a mayor. But, weíre collecting signatures for a run at a council seat. What we have here is a stealth candidate cloaking his true intentions. And this somehow passes as the much-trumpeted, oft-demanded transparency?

Two self-anointed ďactivistsĒ running against a popular incumbent in the same voting district? Yeah, thatíll work! In a parallel voting universe itíll work. They split the activism vote and the incumbent wins handily. So much for the self-appointed know-it-alls running the world.

Yeah, the revolution. (?) Yeah. Right. Uh-huh.

With sophomoric political strategists such as these, is it any wonder the Democrats have a stranglehold in this city?