2-2-2008 Jints, Jerks & Excotets

Being that I‘m a lifelong Jints fanatic, here’s my take on tomorrow’s Super Bowl.

First of all, one of the guys at work couldn’t shout loud enough while telling me that this year’s version of the Patriots is the best team in the history of the NFL, Tom Brady is the best quarterback in the history of the league and the New York Football Giants are dead ducks.

While his predictions might sing true enough, there’s a unique component to this game in that the 13-6 Giants actually seem to have more momentum than the 18-0 Patriots. That is to say, the Giants have been the hotter of the two teams over the course of the last month. Oddly enough, ‘the team of destiny’ argument could be made in support of either of these teams.

I’ve mentioned rookie running back Ahmad Bradshaw before, and yesterday I read that Bradshaw gives Pats’ coach Bill Belichick the “heebie-jeebies.” And he should. As evidenced by the Cowboys’ and the Packers’ games, the 265-pound bruiser, Brandon Jacobs, can tenderize a defense for a quarter or two before Bradshaw slices and dices that softened-up defense to death. He’s quick to the point of attack, a slasher, a game-breaker, or, as NFL.com put it, a “difference-maker.” We’ll just see if he can be the difference tomorrow night.

A prediction? Hard to say. There should be plenty of points scored and plenty of big plays made. Uncharacteristically, Brady threw three interceptions last week. And he’s sure to see two deep safeties, not the one he used to seeing, when the Giants run their frequent fire zone blitzes from every which angle. If the Giants front four puts steady pressure on him, an upset could be in the making.

With that said, the Giants are getting significant contributions from eight rookies, so mental breakdowns could come about. Then again, as rookies, every week since training camp has been a brand new experience for them, so they might not be as completely awestruck as some of the long-denied veteran players by being in a Super Bowl.

The knock on Jeremy Shockey has been that he doesn’t break off his routes quick enough when he reads blitz. And since he suffered a season-ending injury, his replacement, rookie tight end Kevin Boss has done exactly that. Interestingly enough, Kevin Boss’ arrival on the field coincides with Eli Manning’s solid play of late. So, they lost a pro bowler, but gained an X factor going into the playoffs.

I talked with one of this area’s biggest bookies yesterday, and he said the smart money--including his money--has to go with the Giants. Is it starting to sound as if I’m building myself up to a huge disappointment? Not at all.

The Giants are facing this undefeated team of destiny, this record-breaking offensive juggernaut, so I fail to see how losing to this elite team could feel like a crushing defeat no matter how it might come about. Personally speaking, it’s much more fun to get there and lose than to never get there. The Giants have played in three Super Bowls and came away victorious twice. And I’d much rather see them lose the big game than to fall a game short and then have to ponder all of the resulting what-ifs. You see, they are 4-0 in NFC Championship games, and that suits me just fine. Tomorrow they’ll either put up or have to shut up. And it’s going to be a freaking hoot.

My prediction? Well, with both my brain and my heart telling me the very same thing, I’d have to say there’s going to be an upset of monumental proportions come tomorrow night.

And if not, well, there’s always next year.

And since most of you liberal bed-wetters seem to loathe those claiming to be patriots of late, you might as well cheer on those New York Football Giants.

Sez me.

This is going to get overly annoying before too, too long.

Today’s Times Leader has a Page 3 story titled: “Crime down in city and county.” According to the story, all of the violent stuff has diminished quite noticeably. Okay, so the obvious question is “why?’ Our police chief was quoted as saying “We will continue to use methods (used) in the past few years while staying flexible enough to change.” Fair enough.

Our Crime Watch honcho, Charlotte Raup, was not quoted in the story, so I’m left to assume that she was not available for comment. Fair enough.

But someone other than the police chief was available for comment. Try this one on for size:

“I’m sure the police department and the neighborhood watch coalition is having an effect on it,” said Scott Koppenhofer, who is a member of the Guardian Angel alumni and coordinator for the Wilkes-Barre and Stroudsburg chapters.

I’m sure the police department and the neighborhood watch coalition is having an effect on it???? Um, how should I put this?

Well, DUH!!!

Why didn’t they ask me for a comment?

Well, I’m sure the lack of solar activity that typically bombards the Earth’s atmosphere with excessive positive ions and makes people irritable is having an effect on it.

How about, I’m sure American Idol is having an effect on it?

The Bovine flu is wreaking havoc upon the criminal element?

The police and the crime watchers? Gee, you think???

In the future, could the reporters from both of our two local newspapers please exclude this organization and it’s lone member from contributing when crime and the fighting thereof is the topic at hand?

If there’s one thing we’re absolutely certain of, it’s that the fledgling Guardian Angels outfit is not having an effect on local crime. And no matter how much noise he/they make about fighting crime, doing so is best left to the police.

I don’t need Scott Koppenhofer to tell me about my city, nor do I need him to keep me safe. The recently bolstered Wilkes-Barre Police Department has been entrusted to do as much, and I sleep much better at night as a result of their professionalism and their commitment.

Crime is down.

‘Nuf said.

From the e-mail inbox What's happening man?

Saw your website, and that you sent us some traffic.

Was wondering how long you've read stopNEPAcorruption.org. Just wanted to make sure you didnt see the site at a 'bad time'

We had a little issue with users getting out of hand with comments and flaming each other, pretending to be other people, etc. so we put the site on a temporary time out until we could install some better security.

Thanks for the link, and I welcome you to check us out now and let us know what you think now that the site is back up..


Yeah, I did see the site at a “bad time.”

What the emailer is referring to is the temporary shutdown of that site due to the reader’s comments getting out of hand. So, they shut the thing down and tried to devise a way to moderate the reader’s comments to the point where they’d be civil and productive and not mean-spirited. And to that I say, good freaking luck.

I tried to encourage the participation of the readers of this site a while back. I even went so far as to create a separate forum page. And all we seemed to attract was vile name-calling back-and-forth from anonymous users. I asked for more civility and received exactly the opposite. I then warned people to use their real screen names and such, but to no avail. So, as a result, no more forum page.

You see, the internet is the preferred home of the phony brave, the hordes of anonymous tough guys. And it’s undeniable that anonymity breeds slander and the like.

That’s why, while I may not agree with anything they have to say, I have to give credit to those that attach a real name to their thoughts when they take me to task via the e-mail inbox. They are inviting a public rebuttal, but they do so with no regrets and with no curtain with which to hide behind. That’s why I do not offer readers the option of posting their thoughts. If you’ve got something to add, it’s got to go through the comment filter…me. And if that’s too much to ask, then I don’t really care what you might have had to add to the frightful mix.

In addition, since I’ve thrice been accused of stalking and or threatening people (?), I rarely if ever send a direct reply to emails I receive. Basically, if I send a reply to an emailer, I consider the sender a friend of some sort. Cripes, last year I was accused of stalking someone after posting a single photograph of their place of business.

Imagine that. Me taking a picture?

WARNING: The following video contains hundreds of pictures taken by me.

The long and short of it is, you’re never going to bring about a kinder and gentler internet short of pulling the plug on the entire electronic morass. Trust me, I speak from experience. I wish that wasn’t the case, but that’s the way it is.

From the e-mail inbox Mark; I'm insulted I didn't make the youtube nuttiest people in NEPA! I thought I'd be a shoo-in...A few items:

(1) I did not say Lackawanna judges are going to get fired. Another fantasy of yours. I keep asking you to produce this stuff. No luck. If former Marworth druggie (and reputed involuntary manslaughterer) Trish Corbett did not get the ax, it'll never happen. She's the only judge I spoke about up here.You got me mixed up with Corbett, whose been beating that drum for a year about Luzerne County judges).....Read Corbett's column on the "Truth" on his blog. Precious. His cousin Trish dried out at Marworth before the election ten years ago and never told the electorate. ...That's ok with you? She also allegedly injected a friend with a lethal dose of drugs....You're afraid of Corbett so I don't expect you to run with that stuff. ....It's always the same old crap about me with you. Lies, missinformation, and all your anonymous crapheads chiming in...The No-Name Offense. Ha!.....Then you call me a homophobe. I disclose that I have homosexual fantasies; now you're on me for being gay! Can't win....

(2) My continuance was granted so that I would have time to issue 15 subpoenas, in light of some new evidence that recently fell into my lap. It IS going to be slam dunk v. Entercom.

(3) I dunno. You berate me continuously. But we seem to be on the same side. We like to trash the squares at WILK; we seem to dislike the same politicians, etc. ...Pray tell, for starters, who are the judges I said are getting fired in Lackawanna County? Enlighten me..... DEF

Mark? Hey, you’re finally with it.

If you’re talking about the “All the Madmen” slideshow, you had better take another look at it. You made the “nuttiest people in NEPA” list.

Look, we can’t point to examples or proof of anything on a Web site that is constantly being reinvented, reedited, and/or partially deleted. I know what I’ve read over the course of the past couple of years, so let’s leave that one as it is. Conversely, I’ve never deleted a single word I’ve posted, or edited a post after it was published for all to see. Warts and all. And my archives are voluminous and then some.

As for your continuance, that’s wonderful. More power to you. Despite what I might think of your past postings, I did think it was fascinating to learn that a local blogger and a local media outlet were going to have at it in front of a magistrate. And I still do. That’s why I mentioned it in the first place.

As for the trashing of the “squares at WILK” is concerned, we do have a few things in common.

I find Kevin Lynn to be a do-nothing know-it-all with a serious mean streak. To me, he is intellectually repugnant in that, if you dare to disagree with his vapid ideology, you are obviously sporting one too many chromosomes. In his mind, NEPA is home to nothing but pond scum, save for him.

As for Sue Henry, simply because Sue does not rant and rave to the point of hyperventilating as do both Kevin and Steve Corbett, unlike you, I do not think she’s boring. Although, I thoroughly enjoy it when she gets noticeably upset with a caller. I told her to get annoyed more often.

Steve Corbett shares one obvious fault with Kevin, he is intellectually repugnant in that, if you dare to disagree with his vapid ideology, you are obviously sporting one too many chromosomes. In his mind, NEPA is home to nothing but pond scum, save for him.

He reminds us everyday that we are racists and sexists and homophobes. And he reminds us that we need to be more enlightened like he is. He also reminds us that, while he probably won’t, he could kill us with his bare hands.

Check this out. I recently challenged his assertion that the 14th amendment applies to anyone, regardless of their home planet. I know there are legal opinions to the opposite, but legal opinions all too often sound like somebody is asking what the meaning of “is” is. And the “is” challenges always seem come from Steve’s bedraggled ‘60s camp, the aged, guilt-ridden white “progressives.”

I’ll not publish our recent email back-and-forth only because I enjoy the tit-for-tat squabbling, save for his accusing me of belonging to the “Flat Earth Society.” And this is exactly what happens when one challenges either of the great ones, Kevin and Steve. They immediately fire back with the oral or written equivalent of, you are a dumb f>ck. Who am I to challenge them since I’m a born-and-bred retard from NEPA? Right?

At least Nancy can be somewhat civil about things when it’s obvious to her that she’s bumping heads with someone of a polar opposite take on things. Although, being a mom and all, I can’t feature why she’s so supportive of the one political party--the democrats--over the other. What are the Dems going to do for us? Get us out of Iraq (NOT!), tax the snot out of us and create more entitlements? She’s confusing to me, that’s why I wanted to do a bus trip to New York City with her a while back. Annoyingly, a rampaging colony of reticulitermes flavipes put the kibosh to that.

Just for kicks, below is my most recent email to the great Steve Corbett. He once referred to my emails as “wild and viscous.” You be the judge.

From the e-mail outbox Okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

MXXXXX must have lied to me for the very first time. Must have. (?) Corbett sez, so it must be written in stone somewhere high above a faraway desert.

Flat Earth Society....I'd feel better...I need discipline...and you'll go easy on me.

Not only are you an overly arrogant know-it-all, you're incessantly condescending, too. It's not you, it's the rest of humanity that has a few too many screws loose. Again, got it.

Oh, and thanks for the daily reminder that you think you can beat me up. Whatever. Have yourself another wheat germ salad, a rice cake, a glass of pureed celery and your Geritol.

You sure learned us ignorant coal crackers again. Thanks for that. Gotsta go, the payment on my used John Deere is overdue, and my step-sister Opal promised me a drunken romp in the pig slop. Sure beats being taken out back of the wood shed by Uncle Jiggy.

Every so often, I wish my step-daddy hadn't beaten me in the head with that damn rake so often. Ah, it's my own danged fault for not pickin' my keep in mayonnaise sprouts. 'Cause if he hadn't beat me senseless so often, maybe I could have moved to the big city, got me one of them tiny spoons for up my nose and got all goll danged perfect like you.

If you're ever up my way here in Incest Creek, drop on by and we'll throw a few back and shoot a few squirrels. And iffin' I take a likin' to ya, I'll let ya take Opal down by the old grain silo for a spell. She's stupid and ugly and ignorant, but she sure knows how to make an inbred happy.

Lonesome Redneck Mark in Nord End

Viscous? Nah, perhaps wild and crazy, but not viscous.

He’s the one with the “Flat Earth Society” seating arrangements, and what’s more viscous than calling someone stupid?


Opal, you hot ‘lil bitch!!!

From the e-mail inbox I agree with you that seeing a Toyota on the high banks of Daytona just doesn't seem right. What's sad is that the Camry will be the only cars built in the USA in the race. I guess it's something us old coots will have to get used to, like bilingual menus.

Perhaps Dr. Steve “I am a Mexican” Corbett would like to weigh in on this one. If we openly object to Toyotas running the NASCAR schedule, then we must hate the Japanese only because they look different. And by extension, if we hate the Japanese, then we must hate just about every other known race, including his…the master race.

All that a bilingual menu says to me is get up, slip your coat on and walk out. If what I wanted was to live in Portugal or France, I’d move there. Is it really to much to ask that we have our own language, one language. Or is that more proof of bigotry and racism and other ugly stuff?


From the e-mail inbox Mark,

"Yeah, he’s on the cutting edge alright. And so is the Argentine Navy."

Damn it, you did it again!!! Thanks for another good one!


Ah, the Argentine Navy.

When the Falklands War brought out in 1982, I was fascinated with it and studied every possible aspect of it only because it had been almost 40 years since the latest military technologies were let loose in anger.

It was a testing ground for hand-held satellite communications, AWACS, Aegis radar systems, French-built Excotet missiles and Mirage fighters, among other others. Turned out, our Aegis’ were confused by the inbound sea-skimming Excotets resulting in the sinking of a few British destroyers.

Enter…the Argentine Navy.

The General Belgrano, a former WWII-class U.S. heavy cruiser was sent to the bottom by a British Submarine with 323 crewmen on board. Typically, it’s sinking caused a lot of needless hand-wringing from the west. It was the only controversy to come from that war, being that the western press can’t stand success when that success comes at the hands of our militaries. When the British ships were being blown out of the water by the Argentine Air Force, no one cried foul.

The Belgrano was rushing reinforcements to the Falkland Islands, which then could have had their way with the outnumbered British ground forces. Still, the sinking was roundly criticized by the press. And how silly was that when the Argentine leadership got exactly what they had asked for all along by seizing disputed territories…a war?

To this day, it is the only surface ship ever to have been sunk by a nuclear-powered sub and if I remember correctly, only the second to have been sent to the bottom by a sub since the conclusion of WWII.

I know, you didn’t ask.

Stay in touch.

Section. 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

Any person? No matter which galaxy they hail from, and no matter how they snuck into the country illegally?

Hey Steve, remember that old hippie song “Eve of Destruction,” that your generation was so fond of? It might have taken your drug-crazed, sex-crazed generation forty-years longer than they’d like, but they’re zeroing in on this country’s destruction.

And all for cheaper produce?

Welcome to the revolution, baby. Now love the one you’re with and smoke an awful lot of dope.

‘Til next time.